What do I do? I want to be positive and keep my faith but?

Question

I lost my baby a month ago. I was 21 weeks along and my water broke inexplicably, I was induced labor and she died. I keep thinking I didn't deserve that and now I'm back at work with lots of pressure... and I still feel all right.

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear of your loss.
Only God can bring the healing your heart needs.
As for your baby, she lives on in a far better world than this one.
Please take the time to read this extraordinary online book written over 150 years ago by a young woman who was granted a revelation of what awaits us after this life, including what becomes of infant spirits when they depart this world:

http://quod.lib.umich.edu/cgi/t/text/text-idx?c=moa;idno=AFZ0722.0001.001

peace to you.

Answer 2

you do not give any religious connections you might have... so it is not easy to give advice.... you porbably have heard the "you'll get over it" and all the variations of that already.... no... you will not... and the hurt will not get to be any less... you are a human being and a woman... if you are "normal" you will never forget... and there will be a time years from now when you will think of it and it will bring you to tears... but because you a "normal" woman you will cope... that is the hope you have... I will say, as one of The Christian Faith that, that is the way God made woman....you will find the strength built in to you to be able to cope... I am concerned about your statement that "I didn"t deserve that"... right now you are reacting selfishly... and you have that right... but the child did not either... you probably have also heard the "it was for the best... there was something wrong with the baby" and all the other comments like that.... it does no good to try to explain it away that way either... you know that deep inside of you... nothing can exlain it........ but... I can assure you that you have the strength to cope... and you will... you are a woman... you will hurt... you will cry... many times over the years... but you will also have great oportunities and experience happiness and joy... so when the time come again for you to remember and cry for the child lost... you will... and you will continue with your life.... because you are strong because you are a woman.... and that is the way God provided for woman to survive such sorrows...

Answer 3

I want to tell you a true story. When my youngest daughter was four years of age, my husband and I were driving with her in our car, when her little voice came out of the back seat and said " How come I couldn't come to you the first time I tried". We didn't understand what she was saying for a while then I suddenly realized what the message was. A year before I had a miscarriage, and this little four year old girl was telling me that "she" had tried to get through to me before and had failed, but had succeeded the second time. This is absolutely a true story and I have never forgotten it, I call my oldest daughter an "old soul" because she is so much wiser obout spiritual things than I am, and she is always right.
Keep positive, there is always a good reason behind the darkness and one day you will see the sun shining, even brighter than before,
Much peace and love.

Answer 4

The worst thing you can do is walk out from under God's umbrella. It will only make things worse.

This is going to be a hard time. Grief sucks. You may not know for a long time why this happened either. It may be when you get to heaven you find out. You just have to trust there's a reason for it.

God loves you. He'll help you through this. Then someday, you'll get to see your child again in heaven.

Answer 5

I have not lost a baby..... but I just lost my huband suddenly..... I received a phone call from a paramedic that he was at my husband's office and he had died..... I am still in shock and trauma......

Each of us experience grief in an individual way............ I am a Christian and have been for many years. I am not shaken in my faith...... but I can truly say it is much easier to believe and share your faith.... than it is to actually have to put it to the test and into practice like you are having to.

Let this tragedy push you to leave heavily onto the Lord -- please don't let it come between you. You need all of the Lord's strength that is available to you.

When negative thought come into your mind, thank God for His goodness...... not for what happened..... but God has not changed..... He is still God Almighty and He loves YOU.....

I am writing these words because I know they are true -- not because I "feel" them all the time right now. Sorrow comes suddenly like a wave............. Try to find groups (live or online) of women that have experienced this....... Draw close to Jesus.

Answer 6

I can't imagine how you feel but you NEED to keep your faith, now more than ever. I couldn't dream of going through what you are without it. We live in a fallen world and no one goes through life unscathed. We don't know why things happen the way they do. God defeated death and hell through Christ's death on the cross but the mystery of evil will continue for awhile. In this case, the war is won but battles go on. I would read the Book of Job in the OT. We are not even supposed to question God. But, He has a plan and His word says that all things will work out okay for the believer.

Answer 7

First of all sorry for your lost. My thoughts and prayers would be with you. Most of the times life is unfair with us. Unfortunately, problems and calamities seem to follow wherever we go. A lot of times we seem to blame God for all of this. The truth is, God never intended this to happen to us. I can just imagine how God felt when the first human couple decided to accept Satan's lifestyle, rather than God's lifestyle under his rulership. Satan stole God's creation. God could have destroyed everything, even Satan, and create everything brand new; but this would have not answer the question: are we able to continue without God's rulership? Time has proved that the answer is NO. God knows that what happened in the Garden of Eden is not our fault, but we are still descendants of Adam and Eve. Therefore, He is lovingly making the arrangements to make things new for us. We know that Jesus came to Earth to show God that a perfect human being of the same caliber of Adam is able to remain faithful to God under the worst circumstances and temptations. The reward for remaining faithful, was a resurrection to life. Jesus death became a ransom sacrifice for our us. We are just awaiting the war of Armageddon, where all physical evil is going to be destroyed and all spiritual evil is going to be chained. In the mean time, since this world, temporarily, does not belong to God, He is just asking us persevere until the end. Read the book of Job, and see all the bad things that happened to him. All the time he thought God was doing all these things to him; however, the Bible shows that Satan was doing these things to Job, secretly. Satan did not reveal to Job that it was him causing Job to have all kinds of troubles.

Keep on persevering sister.

If you have a few minutes to spare, watch these two videos. The first one show you hoe we need to fight against the invisible forces and the second one is asking us to Stop and Think about life...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRi4VwcrYmA

Hope this helps...:o)

Answer 8

thats very sad, im sorry to hear that.
life is always hard on all of us. we all have our own unique challenges to face. my only advice for the immediate is to surround yourself with family and friends, and thus, positive emotions. when you appreciate the joys in your life, it makes sorrow that much easier to swallow. so try not to dwell more than you should on the hard times, that is how depression takes hold. the character of all people is shaped by how we handle adversity. i wish you well.

" All I know from my own experience is that the more loss we feel the more grateful we should be for whatever it was we had to lose. It means that we had something worth grieving for. The ones I'm sorry for are the ones that go through life
not knowing what grief is. "

~frank o'connor

Answer 9

This is such a traumatic thing to experience and even though you may physically feel all right, emotionally speaking it is perfectly okay if you are not. You should talk to your pastor or an older woman in your church who is spiritually mature who knows how to minister to someone in your situation and can pray with you. It certainly seems senseless when things like this happen, but it may be God's way of making you stronger so you can help someone else down the road. Do take time to grieve and mourn, don't let anybody cheat you out of that.

Answer 10

You don't sound alright. The best thing to do I think after seeking professional help by way of counselling is to pray. Be honest in your prayers. Say what you have said in your question "Lord, this happened and I didn't deserve that, why didn't you come through for me. I believed in you and trusted in you and you let me down." Something along those lines and more. When talking to God say what you feel, even if it is angry and you worry that it might be blasphemous. Really express yourself. Hope that helps.