sometimes my bf will just say the stupidest things just to make me mad.. he goes beyond things and calls me really mean names.. to him its just a joke...then he says he's just kidding when he sees i start feeling bad....but i'm sick of it he does it daily!!.. today he called me a B****, a fuken idiot. and then he says. " i'm just kidding" when he notices that i get sad. and when i ask him why he does it he gets mad and says he doesn't wanna talk about it.. i mean whats wrong with him.?
2007-10-18 11:58:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the name calling and saying mean things....he just pops out with them out of no were
2007-10-18 11:59:39 · update #1
he stops right after i start crying....then i try my best to get over but yet he sees that i'm still hurt....and thats when he feels guilty and says sorry and promises never to do again....but for what he'll just do i again in 10 min
2007-10-18 12:18:54 · update #2
he just wants attention
2007-10-18 12:02:10 · answer #1 · answered by fielder27 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Look. Some people are "JKers." Your boyfriend is one of them. It's a form of harassment where they justify it by saying they were kidding and tell YOU that YOU have a problem if "you can't take a joke."
I had this problem with a girl I knew. She finally pushed me over the edge and when she said "I was just kidding," I said "No. You're not." It's a slap in the face for them because it attacks their shield, not them directly.
Next time he says that he was joking, you should say "I don't think you are." This opens him up to apologize and stop, but if he doesn't he's not worth your time. Abuse can be verbal also.
2007-10-18 19:08:22 · answer #2 · answered by Answers (but who has them all?) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does want attention, but he obviously respect you no matter what he is saying. He does not recognize that he is truly hurting your feelings and that you do no appreciate him saying those things to you. It really doesn't make sense why guys do this to the one they are suppose to care about. If this continues you should cut him loose. before it goes too far and he says something he will not be able to take back. Good Luck ! ! Have Fun ! !
**P.S. Jealousy = control do not mistake that- Necessity for jealousy is the result of an insecurity, controlling the relationship as a whole.
2007-10-18 19:06:56 · answer #3 · answered by BrAnDon 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand how you feel...had this problem too. I had to stop taking to the guy for a while to make him understand that these words do hurt. I think he does this because of insecurities within himself. I think you should continue to make it clear that you don't like it and will not stand for it any longer. If he has to talk to you like that, then maybe he should not talk to you at all. It will hurt, but your feeling matter and they are important.
2007-10-18 19:04:36 · answer #4 · answered by TAS 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He wants to get a rise out of you for attention or something.
My husband does it all the time... he knows I get sad when he talks about his ex or other girls.
He has ADMITTED that he wants to see me cry so that he'lll know I'm jealous. And, to him, jealous = love. So the more upset I get the more he thinks I love him. I just ignore him now though. I'm not playing that game.
Is that twisted or what?
2007-10-18 19:04:04 · answer #5 · answered by ☆miss☆ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He says those things because this is what he REALLY thinks of you at the moment, BUT when he thinks he might lose you, THEN he is "just kidding".
Dump him and tell him when he learns to treat people with the same respect he wants to be treated with he might be able to keep a g/f.
2007-10-18 19:03:44 · answer #6 · answered by Joe F 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
its prolly not a big deal to him, but you need to sit down and seriously tell him u dont like it. Next time he does it dont give any reaction and see what happens. Even if it hurts dont show any emotion. Dont let him get to u girl, stand up and tell him sumthn. Ask him if he wants u to call him a dumbazz, ignorant, jackazz, stupid punk, etc. Name call him and see how it affects him.
2007-10-18 19:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by mZwHaTtHaTiZ! 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your bf is abusive, and believe me it will only get worse! You really need to evaluate this relationship...just what do you get out of it?
Honey, he isn't going to change...
2007-10-18 19:04:37 · answer #8 · answered by Tracey L 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he is going to act like that, I would DUMP him. What he is doing is mean spirited and disrespectful to you.
2007-10-18 19:06:05 · answer #9 · answered by Debbie P 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋