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My son is 11 and the only way to really get him to behave is through spanking. It has worked wonders for us. We now only need to do it ocussinally, it only happens a couple times a month.

Someone brought up that he is way too old for this punishment. I disagree. Whose right?

2007-10-18 11:51:50 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Grade-Schooler

21 answers

NO not to old, my oldest is almost 11, and she's been spanked. Granted she doesn't get it twice a month, but has gotten spanked a few times this year that's for sure. I'd say use other punishments first, try and get creative, but in the end spank that bottom if that's what works.

2007-10-18 20:51:17 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 2 1

I can't believe he needs to be spanked several times a month in order to behave. Sounds like he just craves the physical contact. Try hugging more and spanking less.

11 is really pushing it. 12 is too old.

There may be another element involved too, on one side or the other. But if he needs to be spanked often and he's OK with it, then it's not really accomplishing what you think it is. Come up with something more adult, like loss of privileges.

2007-10-19 19:47:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

your son? What about your husband's son. What does your husband think.

At 11, maybe not too old to be spanked. But seems to me probably not more than once every couple of months, maximum.

You say spanking gets "him to behave" and that "it has worked wonders". If so, then why still spanking a couple of times a month?

Maybe you should try other methods of punishment or, even better, try methods of helping him to find ways to avoid "earing" punishments. Ways that he can develop "self-discipline".
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2007-10-18 20:45:34 · answer #3 · answered by Jim 6 · 3 1

I don't think he's too old...however...if it's happening "a couple times a month"...that seems like alot.

Perhaps he's lacking consistancy or structure or routine of somekind? Because if he's misbehaving enough to be spanked that regularly...there may be a bigger problem than whether he's too old or not.

I was spanked and I'll spank my son...but I only remember having to be spanked maybe 10 times in my entire childhood...and I was not a particularly well behaved child.

Maybe the rules of what's ok and what's not aren't crystal clear to him and that's why he needs them so often?

In anycase...that's for you to decide and figure out...in answer to your question...i don't kids are ever too old to be spanked...you'll always be his parent...he should always mind you.

Good luck

2007-10-18 19:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

You have the right to spank them if he doesn't listen to you. Just don't do it too often. A couple of of months seem to be a lot. trying doing it 3 times in 6 months...and then you can't slowly not spank him anymore. Just try to just ground him from doing his favorite things. This will make him learn his lessons. Like if he likes to watch tv or play video games you can take it away.

2007-10-18 19:03:34 · answer #5 · answered by LC 3 · 2 0

I have 6 boys and spanking at 11 is not ok. You would do much better by removing cell phone privaleges, taking away the T.V. having him write an essay on why he did what he did etc. Spanking should end by the time a kid is 5 and even then it should have only been used in life threatening situations, like when they won't stay out of the road.
I have never had any of my kids need that much physical punishment and no, they are not book worms or nerds. They are the envy of my neighbors and I am extreemly proud of them . Boys State , PALS and Student /Principal Advisory Council winners.Have a sit down with your son and tell him that you want to start treating him with the respect and responsibility that his age has earned. Then lay out the new consequences.

2007-10-18 20:27:07 · answer #6 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 0 4

As children get older, spanking will no longer work. I agree he is too old, by spanking him his entire life you have conditioned him to believe spanking is what will happen with undesirable behavior. Now it will take a great effort on your part to get him to understand that undesirable behavior will have other consequences like grounding, taking things away. And he will push the limits, until he is conditoned to other consequences

2007-10-18 18:58:41 · answer #7 · answered by chrmcraft1976 2 · 1 1

No, not at all...my daughter is 11 and I still spank her. If it works, just keep right on doing it.

2007-10-20 09:38:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Spanking is not good, a cousin of mine is in jail now from being abused as a child. But you have to show this child who is boss. Take away something they really cherishes and he will listen, if not the only way to get to him is really a spanking i was spanked as a child and i am not a bad guy.

2007-10-18 19:03:59 · answer #9 · answered by ruben** 1 · 0 4

13 years or older is too old to be spanked, 11 and 12 year olds should be sent to there room(unless its a big wrongdoing).

2007-10-18 18:58:40 · answer #10 · answered by Pilot in Training 3 · 2 1

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