I two step-daughters. I live with one. In the past she started taking my stuff which because it was happening my husband and I put a lock on our bedroom door. Today I found my lingerie in her room that my mom bought me for my wedding night. And a year ago I found my ring that my kids got me for mother's day in her room. I think she does it because I came into her life when I met and married her Dad and she just wants me to leave. I have done nothing to her but give her stuff, cover for her, cook for her, and take her places when she needs a ride and she repays me by stealing my stuff. I don't tell her what to do so why would she steal my stuff and how do I handle it? And talking to her Dad doesn't help. All he says is maybe my stuff got in her room by mistake. That isn't it. Please help.
2007-10-18 11:46:49 · 8 answers · asked by Mommyof2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She is also 15 years old.
2007-10-18 11:47:33 · update #1
She has also taken stuff that belongs to my kids, her step-siblings.
2007-10-18 11:50:12 · update #2
I have talked to her and told her I want to get along and she can talk to me about anything but it doesn't help.
2007-10-18 11:52:41 · update #3
She always denies taking my stuff. But I know she did.
2007-10-18 11:53:19 · update #4
Both of you need to sit down with her..And your husband needs to grow a backbone. I understand your situation. I married a man who had a 13 yr old daughter and she still feels annimosity towards me and is now 24 years old. Anyway..I know in my heart and you do too that you have done your best and will continue to do your best by this child. One day they will see the light.
Back to your stuff..She is 15..soon she will get her drivers liscense..and you know how bad they want that. USE THAT in your favor! If rules are broken ..then guess what? No liscence. I would suggest getting a lock for your door as well.
2007-10-18 12:15:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
as a stepmother of three and have gone through the stealing stage the first thing you should do is talk to you husband and let him know how much this bothers you .then the two of you need to sit down and talk to her you are not helping by doing everything for her she needs a mother be it step or otherwise not another friend she 15 not 25 she need s guidance the stealing is a cry for attention the next time she takes something let her know its coming out of her allowance if she do not get one then she will have to work it off around the house
2007-10-18 12:03:23 · answer #2 · answered by phyllis m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know what to say about her taking your stuff, but I can tell you that it's not going to help by telling her that she can talk to you about anything and all that. See, I too am 15 and I have a step-mother, and she told me that once and it just made me angry. Although, you sound like a better step-mother than mine. Maybe you could just tell her that if she wants to wear your stuff to ask if she can borrow it. She might just be upset that you and her father have a better relationship than her mother and her father. I know that I don't like it when I see my dad and Christy together because my dad was never with my mom. Just continue to be nice to her, but don't let her walk all over you! She will try to take advantage of you, but just don't let her.
2007-10-18 12:18:57 · answer #3 · answered by Kylie E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever happens needs to addressed by both parents. If your husband (her father) doesn't want to address the problem, you'll have to be very direct with him:
1) You have not given these things to the girl.
2) She is not asking your permission to use them or take them to her room.
3) As he would want you to respect her things, you expect the same respect for your things from her.
After you have explained all of these things, I would tell him that if he isn't willing to confront his daughter about these problems, you will have to. You will penalize his daughter by refusing to provide her with rides, meals, or other help until she apologizes and agrees not to touch your things without your permission. If he doesn't agree with these steps, then he must provide an alternative that you feel is satisfactory.
I have a feeling that your husband will be willing to have a sit down with you and his daughter once he realizes that you are this serious about it. If he doesn't, he won't have any room to complain once you take action...and if he does, you will simply have to remind him of the conversation you had previously and his decision to stay out of it.
2007-10-18 11:59:44 · answer #4 · answered by CarinaPapa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say there is a little jealousy there - she is taking these things because they have sentimental value to you, just like her father has to her. The only thing you can do is confront her if her dad isn't prepared to do anything and find out why she keeps doing it.
2007-10-18 11:52:42 · answer #5 · answered by Monkey007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her dad needs to back you up and stand beside you, that is his job. It is time to set some real tough love rules. Stick with them or they won't work, be sturn and real and hard, both of you together, She is still am minor and lives in your home and you provide for her,she is to follow your rules or face the consequences.......................x
2007-10-18 12:00:42 · answer #6 · answered by lana s 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and her dad need to have a talk with her.
2007-10-18 11:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk with her
2007-10-18 11:51:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋