How do you have a relationship after coming out of an abusive one?

Question

I just got out of a physically abusive relationship about 2 months ago. I guess I was looking for a rebound relationship just to try and get over my ex. But my problem is, is that I don't want to be touched by anyone. I don't like people hugging me or touching me, I feel very uncomfortable. I used to not be like this, I was a very effectionate person. I can't even kiss someone. Someone help because I've been like this for 2 months, and I don't want it to last... :(

Answer 1

You need some time to find yourself, to prevent you looking for a similar relationship or worse, to prevent you doing the same things your ex did to you to some one else.

Been there and have done both. Now I'm happily single and on a life journey to self discovery. If someone comes along who is where I am then great!

Answer 2

What you're going through is perfectly normal after having been in an abusive relationship. When I was in my early twenties, I was married to an abusive man. After about 3 years, I left him in France and came back to the United States.

You've been through a traumatic experience and it's totally to be expected that you do not anything, basically, to do with a man for a while. I wanted nothing to do with men when I left my abusive exhusband. I was totally turned off by men. I felt as though I couldn't trust any man, and unfortunately I still don't, though I have learned the warning signs of an abusive man.

After going through a traumatic situation where you basically were married to a violent criminal, since he struck you, and abused you. It's probably a good idea that you seek professional help (e.g. a psychiatrist, therapist, groups for women that have gone through similar abusive relationships). There are also a lot of good self-help books out there that will make you feel as though your feelings are totally normal. Take care.

Answer 3

It won't last, you just need time. Don't rush yourself. You've been through a very traumatic experience. Don't think about getting into a relationship just yet. Spend some time alone with yourself, bettering yourself. Take a class, join a gym, go for long walks, learn a foreign language. Work on building up your self worth. Learn to appreciate being alone and liking yourself. Then, when you are ready, you'll meet a great guy who won't use you as a punching bag.
Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Maybe you just need some time to get over your last relationship before you jump into another one. It's not healthy to be in rebound relationships. It's okay to be single for a while. Before I met my husband I was single for like 2 years cause I needed time to get over my ex fiance and I felt that I needed to find myself before I got into a relationship. Considering that your last relationship was an abusive relationship you might need to see a counselor.

Answer 5

You do not need to rush into one... i know from experience.
you need to be you for a little while. take care of yourself and make sure u are healed without all the baggage. If you do not, all your hurt and pain and trust issues will be brought into your next relationship. This guy will be paying for all of your ex's mistakes. u do not want that. if this guy is the one and you entered a relationship before you healed
he may not stick around...
i was in the same situation and it took me 4 years to heal and i still am not healed all the way. i am married now and my husband was really patient. I myself didnt want to be touched either. nor did i take compliments well. I looked at men like all evil creatures =)
if you are a man hater or you have these issues
please wait

Answer 6

HI,
It isn't easy to heal from an abusive relationship. I have been in a 17 year abusive marriage. Healing does arrive. First step is let go of the abuser in your heart. Second is to get busy with your own life and begin to accept yourself as whole now.
I suggest looking for an emotional/spiritual circle of love to get involved with.
God Bless you and heal you

Answer 7

I understand your situation, i have been there and its very difficult to be the same again. If it was a very very bad situatuion you will need some help go to a professional that could help you and have as many ppl as you need giving you affection. You will soon be your self again.

Good Luck

Answer 8

you don't need to be in a relationship right now. you need to take some time and get to know yourself again and build your confidence back up. every woman deserves to love and be loved, abuse is not love. and don't allow one man's wrong to ruin your life. not all men are abusive and i promise you will find someone who will love you and take care of you.

Answer 9

You don't need to be in any relationship right now, because your going to fall back to old behavior, you don;t know it yet but you will. Its okay to be single, trust me.. Its pretty fun, date don't get serious. Date someone you would never think of dating.

Answer 10

You should try to forget about the past and remember that you have plenty time to get over it. Try to think of what you are looking for and just continue your life on