would you forgive this?

Question

been on hols for the last 2 weeks. Come home to find that step-daughter has hit step-son in the face with a broken wine glass. He was hospitalised for 3 days lost 4 pints of blood and had 38 stiches from his eyebrow down to near his mouth. The carpet is also ruined, a rug had to be thrown away and 2 of those mongolian hairy cushion things also covered in blood so they too been thrown away[ not really bnothered about all the material things but would you forgive the assault?? Don't think I can

Answer 1

Heck no! He will be scarred forlife. She needs to get theropy for violence and anger management.

Answer 2

First: It's family, and since everyone has to live together, forgiveness or not, you must find a way to mediate the situation so the family will continue to function. Second: If this is an extraordinary incident or accident, it can be delt with at home. If on the other hand, we are talking about a child that has violent tendencies and this is just an escalation of them, then outside professional help is stongly suggested. Third: Forgiveness is the least of your problems, however, forgiveness is given when someone is truly repentent. If they are, forgiveness is the proper response and it is really what is best for you as well. Carrying around anger or a grudge for the rest of your life is going to hurt you and probably destroy the family. If you can not find it in you to forgive, you may need to seek professional help as well. Clergy? Psychiatrist? Whatever. Good luck and God bless you all.

Answer 3

My word! What a mess to come home too! I would have minded the bloodshed on my things! This is why!

I cannot see why a sibling would go after another sibling, with an instrument which could cause such damage! I mean, what was this girl thinking when she saw the blood upon his face?

Personally, I believe that if anyone can cause this sort of harm, to another, without their life being in danger, then this person needs help! Perhaps, they both need help to get through this traumatic time within your family.

Also, an attack like this, was a blatent display of disregard to the home and the furnishings. This proves to me that they do not respect these things! Both!

All of these are issues which can be dealt with by professionals! However, as a Christian, I have to tell you that, you must find a way to forgive her. I am NOT saying that she should NOT be called to accountability...as she should be! I am saying, aas the adult, you must try to understand the why and forgive her actions from this. Forgiveness is imperative! Forgetting this is NOT! IN as much, I hope you do not mind if I pray for you and for your family's situation. I believe in the power of prayer and I think God's peace, love, forgiveness, justice and so forth...can really help you all!

Best to you and your's...Blessings,
Gail

Answer 4

If you really were not concerned about material things, you would not have mentioned them. I hate when white people come up to me and the first thing they say is I'm not prejudice, that's how I know right away that they are. You tell on yourself. However, you need to get your step-daughter some serious help. Immediately!! And I'm not so sure I could have her in my house while she gets it. She sounds out of control to me. Perhaps she needs to be hospitalized before she does anymore damage. I would give her all the support that I could.She sounds like a very angry person and there has to be a reason for this. As for forgiving her. You must, that is if you love God. Hope she gets the help that she needs and I hope you don't abandon her. This is probably a time where she needs you the most. Pray that God will give you the wisdom to get through this. This is your family. God bless you. I've been through some very similar experiences myself. I know it's easier said than done.

Answer 5

You have to live the rest of your life with them in it. I would be angry as he// at the step-daughter. This is going to be hard on your relationship with your husband. I hope that you can talk calmly about this together and that he understands how you must feel. He must be pretty angry himself. I would avoid her as long as possible. Be cordial, but guarded. If she offers an apology or compensation for the damages, be nice and accept it with love. I'm not saying that everyone gets a second chance, but people do have accidents. Maybe she needs AA counseling. I only suggest that because of the wine thing. Bless you and your family. I hope that your step-son gets well soon.

Answer 6

Forgiveness is a real trick. There are about 5 levels to it. 1) not wanting to hurt the one who did wrong 2) not wanting him to be hurt 3) being willing to be his friend 4) trusting him with your life, health, money and 5) taking his sin, and giving him righteousness for it. [ 5)-can only be done by the Almighty] Some levels ( I think it is 1 and 2) are required of believers. 3 and 4 would seem to be contingent on the other party's attitude and choices. Hope that helps

Answer 7

What was the intent?

Why did she do it? - What brought about the intent?

How does the step-daughter feel about what they did?

How does the step-son feel about his sister?


Those are the important questions. I think it is possibly more important to follow the step-son's position than for you to decide unilaterally.

But without knowing the full circumstance I can not comment. It would be very different if this was an act of self defense compared to if it was totally unprovoked.

Answer 8

It probably wasn't her intention to do such bodily harm. You never mentioned the age. Does she show remorse?

I am assuming teenagers. These are still kids. If you are unable to forgive kids for their transgressions, god help you when you have your own.


Never hold a grudge. Pass judgement... see that whatever punishment necessary is doled out and move on.

You gotta let go of things in the past... Or they will cloud your view of the present as well as the future..

Answer 9

What are you talking about forgiving...even though this was a very serious fight siblings sometimes do stuff like this.

But the best course of action would be....get some family counseling and find out why they're so angry.

Answer 10

It will be hard, but that is something you'll have to let go of, if you don't then hate will continue to build and build and in the end it will do more harm to you than the person who did all of that.
Prayer sister, it works.

God Bless

† New Mission Prayer Warrior †

Answer 11

I'm wondering what kind of person would resort to this kind of behavior. Sure, I could forgive her, but she is in need of serious counseling. She easily could have killed him or blinded him. To simply let this " just go" and put it all behind you is not the answer. That kind of anger will surface again. And what is being done to help the stepson adjust to this. You realize, I hope, that this is way past normal family functioning when things don't go your way.