My 6yr old son has ADHD, he can't control his impulses at school. He's constanstly getting yellow/red light!

Question

Ok academically he's been tested by school psychologist & therapist its been concluded he is above grade school level for a first grader.

We see a child psychologist on a weekly basis. I am not for medicating my son.

Parents what do you do to help your child remember that he needs to quit arguing with his teacher that he is right, or discontinue him interrupting the class with random outburst pertaining to anything from cartoons to his favorite memory, he can't control his impulses because of the hyperactivity he has been diagnosed with.

At home we try to be on him about staying on task and focus with excersises recommended by the doctor, reminding him about interruptions but I don't know what other exercises we can do with him to help other than the ones we have already implemented.

We have a chart for rewards system as well as the punishment.

I just don't know how else to help him focus, i feel like im not doing enough. Please help im desperate!

Answer 1

One of the first things you need to do is to change your language, and probably your thinking. This is something that is common not only to those who suffer from psychological difficulties, but even completely healthy people. Negative thinking can short-circuit an effort before it even starts. I'm prone to depression, myself, and this is an enemy I have to fight constantly.

For example, in your question you say "...he can't control his impulses at school...". You may think that is just describing what happens, but look at what it literally says: he cannot control himself. Sometimes when someone is told they can't do something over and over they stop even trying.

There are many other ways of saying the same kind of thing. Try "he is still learning how to control himself" or "he wasn't successful at controlling himself". As I hope you can see, these both have the exact opposite implication: that he CAN succeed and you DO believe in him. And I think you do believe both of these things.

Much of the real issue with ADHD is one of focus. Some people who are diagnosed with ADHD have the problem of hyperfocus - they think about one thing to the exclusion of all else. This can make it seem like he's hyperactive if he's still thinking about play from recess an hour ago. Some people who are diagnoses with ADHD have the opposite problem - they are easily distracted. Depending on which of these is occurring, it might be possible for you to structure your home environment to help him too.

If the problem is shifting focus to the needs of the moment, then it can help to provide a very structured day. Make it clear that certain things happen at certain times and always stick as close to that schedule as possible. Then it will (hopefully) become natural for him to transition from one thing to another because what follows is an inherent part of what is going on now.

If the problem is in maintaining focus, then it can be salubrious to remove distractions from the environment as much as possible. Don't have many things going on at once, but when it's homework time have EVERYONE in the house engage in quiet activities. Strip extra things from rooms, so a bedroom is for sleeping and nothing else and a play room is for playing and nothing else (or corners of the same room, if you don't have that many rooms in your house!) - and hopefully keep these out of sight of each other. And try to avoid things where a very short attention span is all but required, such as pretty much all of broadcast and cable television (kids may complain about no TV at first but they quickly become used to it).

Other than that just persevere. He takes his lead from you. Show good cheer, love, and a willingness to keep trying and he almost certainly will as well. And also try to keep an open mind. I fully understand your hesitancy about medication... I feel exactly the same way. But there may come a point (years from now) when you have really tried everything else. If that happens, understand that it is not a failing to need medication; sometimes it is just the way some people are.

Peace, and good luck. My heart is with you.

Answer 2

I understand your reluctance to have doctors prescribe medications for your son, especially as he is quite young. ADHD is considered a disability and the school, by law, needs to put some accommodations in place for him. It does not mean that he will necessarily be "labelled," but the school has an obligations (such as through a 504 Plan) to put some behavioral measures in place for him. These can range from something as simple as creating a special behavior plan for him with incentives as allowing him extra time on assignments. What you are doing is perfect - a behavior chart is great. Just give it time. I know it may seem like it is taking forever to work but be patient. If one reinforcer isn't working, try another. In general, children with ADHD respond less well to punishment. For some reason, it doesn't seem to be as effective. Also, you may need to change the reinforcers often as children with impulse control problems became quickly bored with the same reinforcers. Novelty is the key. Hang in there, and just try to set up a daily communication log with his teachers. Also, if the therapist can become involved with his teacher. (confidentiality is important, but if he/she can just conference once in a while). Try to enlist all of the adults in his life so that everyone is on the same page. Good luck, and don't despair!

Answer 3

He's 6 years old. What do you expect exactly?

While I do agree that there are some children who actually do have "real" problems controlling them selves, most of the children who are diagnosed are perfectly fine (IMHO). This is a kind of moral panic we are having, but I digress. If you want to get your child to "calm down" you can either stuff him full of drugs or you can spend and hour or two a day sitting down with him and listening to what he has to say. And when he's done suggest that you do something that requires concentration and watch him work.

It's hard to understand once you get older, but at that age EVERYTHING is amazing and needs their attention (and your's too apparently) right then. They haven't learned to filter thoughts and actions yet. It's just too much to keep in.

Answer 4

I am afraid that although you don't like to medicate your son it might be your last option Respideral or Strattera will work fine only to be used during school hours if you wish.

I could only tell you to lower your son's intake of sugary foods cookies, cake, soda, punch, twinkies and the like.

If he is not ingeting any of this then it is behond your control, you are gonig to have to give him one of thr medications above so he can learn. Also so he can let the other kids in class learn as well, I don't like medications either but sometimes you must.

Answer 5

I understand your concerns about not medicating him, but if his problem is that bad, maybe that's what he needs.

Outside of that, we raised our niece for 2 years (long story) and in that time, her teachers and I began having concerns that she had ADD. My brother (her father) absolutely refused to consider it though, so any type of testing was out. I did tons of research on my own, looking for ways to help her, and discovered that stimulants have the opposite effect on ADD (not sure about the hyperactivity part though). In fact, Ritalin is actually a stimulant to a non-effected person, but to someone with ADD or ADHD, it calms them down and helps them focus. Therefore, a lot of parents used natural stimulants with success -- a cup of coffee in the morning or a cup of Mountain Dew, which is extremely high in sugar and caffeine. I started giving my niece a cup of coffee (with sugar and cream) in the mornings and she reported that it made her feel much better. She was able to focus so much more clearly. Even her teacher commented on the difference in her and I hadn't told the teacher what I was doing either! Now this might only work on kids with mild forms of ADD or ADHD -- I don't know. You might try giving him some coffee or Mountain Dew in the morning on weekends first to see how it affects him.

Answer 6

what bothers me the most is the way his teachers seem to handle this. They should understand he is not naughty he has ADHD, maybe you could provide them with some information on this, they could be making things worse without realising it. Does the school not have a teaching assistant? I don't understand ADHD and i'm not pretending i do and it must get very stressful for you. You sound like you are trying to do right by him with help.

Answer 7

Your child has a right to his education, so why is there not a teaching assistant in the classroom?

This would cut down the ratio of kids to adults, and may help him. Can you volunteer once or twice a week to go in?

It's also my personal opinion that giving heavy drugs like that to a kid should not be the first thing they try, in fact, it should be the last thing that they do!

Answer 8

i have a daughter that has adhd and a son he is 6 and she is 12 they r on meds but they r to young for rittlelin sorry about the spelling but any way they r both on a med called clonadine and it is working well they r still hyper but not out of controll any more i called social services and they helped me get the meds for free so that might be something for you to conciter once again sorry about the spelling
good luck blessed be

Answer 9

I tried everything with my daughter and nothing worked we eventualy gave up and put her on a low does medication and things have been great ever since good luck

Answer 10

There's a kind of medicin alled Ritalin in french. It makes the person to take it become really calm plus there's not any side effects on your brain.