I'm hurt should i confront him..?

Question

My husband follows a spiritual path of the tradition of sant mat, which has thousands of followers all over the world. I follow my own religion , but i understand that he wants me to take up the path he's following
He often reads books of his spiritual group. Yesterday while reading a book he made a point to me and stated that i am a condemned soul. He had made remarks with similar meanings in the past to me but i overlookde it always. But this time i'm hurt and my self-esteem is cringing. my parents have brought me up with a lot of love and i would not believe that i am a condemned soul even if God himself comes down to tell me that.
The faith my husband believes in has a large following over the world , so i belive thta there must be some truth in it. But the way my husband comments on me makes me feel otherwise. Could it be that my husband is doing it purposely to push me towards accepting his beliefs?
I don't know how to handle this. The kind of things my husband says really hurt.

Answer 1

he is simply not respecting you and your freedom of belief. I don't know what to tell you.

Confront him or accept his beliefs, see what is more helpful and pleasing to you.

Answer 2

My dear girl, I am sorry for what you are going through is must be very painful. If you can talk to him without him
getting made, explain to him how onesided he is thinking, he is right and you are wrong.
Just because his faith has a large following, does not mean that they are THE true religion, and they are right and everyone else wrong. Unfortunately, there are more negative people who bann together and profess their religion to be THE One, than others.

Any kind of emotional, physical and mental abuse you should not be taken. Please do not believe that YOU are a "condemned soul" and I would think it is the otherway around because of the way he is treating you.

You cannot be happy under these circumstances and I would ponder whether you can live like this for the rest of your life, or look for a life that will give you peace and joy.

He is definately pushing you away, and if he is - use your free weill and decide what to do for yourself. God did not mean for someone to live in such spiritual pain given out by a mean spirited person. I send you much peace and love.

Answer 3

I'm not sure what religion you are, so my answer may not be the right one for you, and I'm not sure what Sant Mat is, so I can't even begin to know what your husband is into. What I can say is that in Chrisitianity, my faith we are taught that a husband and wife are to submit to each other. The wife submits to her husband, but her husband is supposed to love and cherish his wife as Christ loved and cherished the church. Christ never did anything to make anyone feel the way your husband has worked to make you feel, and that's significant. Perhaps you could go to a non-denominational counselor, or even a secular one to work on your communication and respect issues, especially if his actions are affecting your self esteem.

You are a beautiful, wonderful work of God! It is your husband's job to make sure that this is the message he gets across to you everyday, if not, he's not being a good husband. Have you tried going to each other's places of worship, maybe alternating between each one for a while to see what the other is into and why? Also, issues like this are really supposed to be worked out before you get married, since it wasn't, that counseling idea is probably best all the way around. If he won't go, you go on your own and work out your own issues to help you better deal with him.

I think you do need to make it clear that what he's said to you is hurtful and unacceptable, if you are uncomfortable doing this alone, maybe a trusteed friend or family member can help mediate. I am praying for both of you.

Answer 4

Sit down with him and tell him that his remarks are not acceptable to you, and that you do not believe as he does, and he has no right to say hurtful things to you AND that he is not allowed to say those things to you any more. Period.

If he insists, tell him "well, I cannot control what comes out of your mouth, but I CAN control what goes into my ears, so you are leaving me no choice but to not be around you. Is that what you want?"

This is one of the problems of a marriage when one person is a fundamentalist ANYTHING, and the other isn't. Something has to give, and a lot of times it ends up in divorce because the fundamentalist won't stop imposing their religion on the other spouse.

It's time to stop overlooking it, and make it VERY clear that this is not acceptable to you, and either he stops or you both will have to go to marriage counselling. If he doesn't, then go. If that doesn't help and he still doesn't stop, then divorce him.

Answer 5

This is like the episode in Seinfeld where Ellane is going out with some Catholic guy who keeps telling her shes going to hell.

Anyways, don't listen to him. If you don't want to join his faith, keep to your own. If he was a truly holy man, he'd accept that you had different beliefs than yours and leave it at that. Tell him that by him saying all this stuff about you being condemed is hurting you and that if he really loved you he'd let you be.

And so what if theres a bunch of people in the world who follow his faith? That does not make it true. There were alot of KKK members in the early 1900's. Back then, did that make them right? Was there any truth in what they were saying? No. Absolutely none.

So don't worry. By your husband doing this it is only a test of your God to make sure your strong and faithful and on the right path.

Answer 6

First: A forced conversion has no value, so don't feel force to convert for any reason because it will mean nothing, not to mention that it's not fair, he met you the way you are, believing the way you believe.

Second: Between a couple, respect if even more important than love. He must respect you and your beliefs and preferences; and you must respect him., his beliefs and his preferences.

Seat down with him and respectfully express him your concerns and the way you feel about what he is doing.

Answer 7

I dont think of you may desire to confront him. I dont think of which will sparkling up something. he will only deny it or play it off like it relatively is not any enormous deal! you may desire to have your boyfriend or brother or pal(s) open up a can, in this punk b!*tch! I had a pal in intense college and an identical situation exceeded off to her...shall we only say the guy paid for it and wont ever think of roughly doing it back. i be attentive to, a great style of human beings are thinking..."oh, that doesnt sparkling up something!" What do you advise, chatting with him and telling him how terrible of a man or woman he's and verify out truly no longer easy to harm his thoughts? properly solid success with that folk.

Answer 8

"You can read your books if you want to, but I don't want to hear your "enlightened thinking." You will not think that I am condemned, and if it comes out of your mouth, you will find that this condemned soul may find someplace else to stay for awhile. According to my belief, which is the only belief important to me, I'm not condemned, I'm redeemed.

"Don't say that to me again because you hurt my feelings, and since I won't put up with that type of behavior from you, I will either change the locks on our doors, or find someplace else to stay."

TX Mom

Answer 9

i think u should confront ur husband because a good marriage is good communication ,he needs to be aware that he lowering your self esteem.although he is being negative u need to possess a positive self awareness ,so if he continues with his sarcastic remarks u would not be bother.if he really love u hell change his attitude towards u

Answer 10

I don't care what religion he professes, he's a boob!
Anybody that makes a loved one feel rejection or worthless
is not being kind or espousing love. I'd tell him to put up or shut up - and then you choose - either convert or leave! You don't have to put up with any garbage that's delivered in the name of religion - by anybody who professes to practice religion. (boy this makes me mad)

Answer 11

Jesus sent his followers to spread the good news of the kingdom so any christian should what to share their belief but insulting others is not he way to win hearts, nor is threatening with hell.
We are commanded to love all but saying hurtful things is not showing love.