i had a friends wedding a few days ago and she put all the presents in the dining room and her toddler son got into them and opened a bunch of them and tossed the paper all around so she has no idea what card goes to which present. she doesnt want to write a standard "thank you for the coming" she really wanted to personalize them all (ex: dear mike and jessica thank you for coming to the wedding and for sharing in our special day with us. the espresso machine will definitly come in handy this winter..." etc) she wants each person to know that she likes the gift they brought but now she doesnt know what gift goes to what card and its all a mess..should she suck it up and send standard thank you cards or would it be totally tacky to call and explain that her son got up from his nap and made a bit of a mess and ask who gave what. she isnt returning anything she just wants to know who sent what..what should we do?
2007-10-18 09:35:04 · 19 answers · asked by jennybean7985 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
it was funny...i guess he just wanted to take the bows off the gifts and stick them to himself but when the paper ripped he realized hey this is great and went on a spree...i never knew how much damage a toddler could do when left unsupervised for 5 minutes!! her dining room looks like it was hit by a tornado!! haha
2007-10-18 09:42:14 · update #1
Gather up the cards and/or gift tags and make a list of those you will need to contact. Call each one or write to each one.(Don't e-mail in this case because that really would be tacky.) You can't go wrong being sincere and up front. Say something like, "It was so great of you to share our special day with us. I'm calling/writing to properly thank you for your gift - if I only could! After the wedding we put all our lovely gifts in the dining room but "Attila" (the toddler) had his way with all the beautiful bows and wrapping paper before we could. I'm holding your card and have no clue to which gift it belongs. Can you be a sweetheart and help me out ?" If you truly invited friends, they will laugh with you, not at you, and will graciously give you the info you need. Once that's done promptly write them a gracious thank you note in return. Stuff happens. My good friends and family would think this was hysterically funny and try to make me feel good. Do the right thing.
2007-10-18 14:06:16 · answer #1 · answered by zak's 5th 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Take a pic of the dining room with the clutter..Write a general thank you (thank them for coming and for the gift with a brief explanation of what happened and send a pic with the thank you notes.
Or call everyone and let them know what happened and find out what gift they gave.Its is nice to know what gift someone gave. I had to call a few guest because some of the cards were separated from the gifts.(They were very nice when I called and explained what had happened..they even talk to me about how pretty I was in my dress and the wedding etc) I made a list of who gave what..It is nice to know where the gifts came from! Then you will always have a list of all your wedding gifts for a scrapbook!
2007-10-18 17:41:56 · answer #2 · answered by sexxy 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing is that the thank you cards get sent, details on gifts or not.
I agree with many others here though that the story would really tickle folk's funny bones and they would completely understand.
Let's face it, there is a fine are to writing really good thank you notes and most of us stink at it. Telling the story would really be original - so maybe a nice break from the "traditional" thank you.
2007-10-19 20:28:49 · answer #3 · answered by BettyBoop 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offence, but since you're asking for advice I can pass on Miss Manners' opinion: thank you cards with pre-printed messages are incorrect. Only a handwritten note or letter will do.
I don't think anyone would be offended if she called or eMailed to explain the situation and ask for a clue. It is the brides who do NOT write proper thank you notes that are tacky, not those who are striving to do the proper thing.
Added later: After reading the other answers, I'll pass on some more etiquette technicalities from Miss Manners. Don't send people letters thanking them for attending your party. You already thanked them when they arrived and again when they left. After a dinner or other party, it is the guests who send the hosts a thank you letter or note, not the other way around.
So mail the thank yous only to people who sent gifts. Otherwise it gets to be too much of a good thing, like those endless conversations between Chip and Dale:
"Thank you."
"Oh no, thank YOU."
"No-no-no-no-no, I insist. It's ME thanking YOU."
"Oh don't be silly, it's YOU who deserves all the thanks."
2007-10-18 19:22:52 · answer #4 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I agree that etiquette-wise, the "thank you" is not for coming to the wedding, but for the gift itself.
I also think she might like to know who gave her what, not just for the cards. I think it is completely appropriate to call, explain and ask what the gift was. I would NOT do those generic cards that don't mention the gift - I think that is tacky.
If she doesn't want to call people, I'd include a short, funny, honest explanation. People might even call to let her know what they sent.
2007-10-18 19:42:12 · answer #5 · answered by eli_star 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think either way would be acceptable.
I learned this from my mom: When giving a gift and card to go with it, always write what gift it was that you gave in the bottom corner of the card just in case for some reason the two got separated.
2007-10-18 16:43:53 · answer #6 · answered by sugar sweet 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would type up a thankyou letter that explains what happened and maybe reenact her son with all the bows and wrapping paper around him and get prints made somewhere of the photo to send along with the letter.
2007-10-18 17:30:29 · answer #7 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is human enough to understand childern being children. I think most people would get a good laugh out of the situation and think alot of your friend for taking the time to sort through the mess just so she could send them a personal thank you.
2007-10-18 17:01:32 · answer #8 · answered by *ae* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would call and explain. Then send the standard thank you card. Perhaps she can include a picture of her son in the mess.
2007-10-18 17:39:37 · answer #9 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A standard thank you very much for attending, if you gave a present I thank you very much for it, unfortunately my son decided to unwrap presents while I wasn't in the room so I don't know who gave what.
Or, standard thank you and make like a little "newsletter" thing like some people make for Christmas, have a picture of the mess and headline saying (son's name) shows promise of becoming a scientist. The text could read: son's name, shows promise of being a scientist and for his first experiment he wanted to discover how psychic his mother was. Unfortunately mother's name, proved unable to identify which present was given by who after the wrapping paper and cards where removed and spread around the room. couples first and last name wish to express their gratitude to those who gave presents even though they now do not know who gave what.
2007-10-18 16:59:06 · answer #10 · answered by Manny 4 · 10⤊ 0⤋