How do you feel when you do something that is against the rules or sinful or when someone disapproves of you?

Question

Do you feel ashamed? Bad? Sad? Guilty? Are you worried about your reputation being stained? How do you go on in your life once you've been disapproved of?
How do you get over this feeling?

I am not talking about going to confession.
I'm talking about when there's something you really want to do even though it's not socially acceptable or considered to be "right", and you want to continue doing it no matter what.

Answer 1

Depends on the something.

First, I tend to follow my own morality. Everybody has their own morality, and it is different from society's morality or any religious institution. That's because everybody comes from different backgrounds and has different experiences.

Personally, there are a lot of beliefs that I have that are different than society's beliefs. For one, I'm an atheist, so I don't believe that morals are some set of rules handed down by a god. I feel good about what I believe. I don't have much to be ashamed of there.

I do worry about my character. A person's character is how others view you. I'm careful to present myself honestly, so that others know where I stand with them. I am generally honest, generous, and reliable. That builds my reputation, and that is important to me. I would hate for someone to think I'm not upstanding. That's not who I want to be, so that's not what I present to others.

That said, I don't hang on the approval of others. If someone has a real reason to disapprove of me, then I take that seriously. I don't expect to agree with everybody, though. I am my own person. I'm ok with others disagreeing with me. Life would be boring if we all thought alike.

If I'm ashamed of what I did to someone, I'll try to make amends, or at least learn from the experience and try not to do it further. If I'm ashamed of what I did, it is because I violated what I, myself, think is right and wrong. It is most important to be true to yourself.

Answer 2

When I break my rules or sin, its more or less the same thing, then I feel remorse and guilt.

If people disapprove of me, then it does not affect me at all. I am as I am. If others don't like that, its not my problem, its theirs. I have lived with it most of my life anyway. I have nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of because I know why I did what I did even if not good, and nothing to prove. God knows my value. Should I really care what the rest of the world thinks?

However I do appreciate being valued by my fellows, but it doesn't get to me if I'm not. I know that it takes a certain amount of inner strength to be like that. You obviously have a problem with disapproval. I understand that, its very, even very, very, painful. It stems from a sense of insecurity and probably even from your early childhood.

Mine certainly did. I was born shortly after WW2 started. My mother and grandparents had no time for a young child. They had more important preoccupations. When I was 5, it was all so painful, being pushed away into the corner, that I consciously shut the feeling out and thus became an emotional cripple for many years. My father was away in the war. The fist time I saw him I was 6 yrs old. So you can go from one extreme to the other.

The way to look at it is perhaps like this. A definition of happiness is that its a state of well-being that you condition yourself. However if you make the error of letting it, or wanting it, to be conditioned by others, especially those who do not really have your interests at heart, then you cannot be surpised if the result is rarely what you hope for. The answer is to not seek for it in others, but to provide it for yourself.

The only way to overcome fear, in my expierence, is to face it. What is the thing you fear most? Perhaps that nobody likes you, nobody wants to know you, everybody rejects you. So assume that's how it is. Having accepted that's the problem, you can then start dealing with it. I'm not saying its easy, but of course, if you find Faith to support you, then that makes it easier than otherwise.

Answer 3

Whether or not it is socially acceptable is of minor importance to me, if it's something private, or if it's not actually illegal. If it is illegal, of course I have to figure the odds of getting caught, and the consequences if I do, as part of my decision to do it or not. If someone disapproves of me for doing something I have decided is right, I just ignore them to the extent possible. If they can make me feel ashamed, then I will conclude that I made a bad decision, and resolve not to do it again. And as to reputation, there aren't enough people who even know me and know what I do for that to be a significant factor.

Answer 4

If I think it's wrong I'll feel really bad, but if I think it's reasonable and the rules are wrong I think i could still do it. It is different for each thing.

If it is some silly thing society made up don't feel too bad. But if it hurts people then don't do it of course.

Answer 5

Like Larry Craig?

Answer 6

Defensive

Answer 7

People have been disapproving of me for years. How did I get over it? Screw them! I'm a good person and if they don't see that, screw them!

Answer 8

That is persistance in sin, if it is a sin, and will send you to Hell. Shame is given us by God to help us to dislike sin. If it's not a sin, who cares what they think.

Answer 9

Spiritually Dirt and in need of repentance...

Answer 10

All that matters is what God says is right and wrong, not what's "socially acceptable". If God says it's wrong and I do it anyway, I'm an idiot.