My boyfriend and i have been together for six months now and i love him alot. I am 27 so i'm past all the games and so forth, so i'm taking this seriously. The thing is, lately i feel like there isn't enough hours in the day to get everything done. Together we got a puppy which he pretty much got for my birthday and she stays with me at my place and with the new puppy and all the things i do before work and after work, i stay busy and then i'm tired and i have to get ready for the next day to do it all over again. Not to mention my boyfriend works opposite hours than me. I work 8-5 and he works 2-10 at night. With all this, i feel stretched, soooooo we really haven't been "intimate" in about a week or so, he asked me if i had fallen out of love with him. i'm just not in the mood but how or what should i say to him?
2007-10-18 09:02:12 · 38 answers · asked by heidiann90202 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i was in a similar situation so what we did was "date night" try to at least align our two days or one day off together so that we can spend quality time together. see a movie, eat dinner, make love. it was our "weekend rendezvous" it worked we rekindled the flame and it was great till he cheated on me. now that's another story.
2007-10-18 09:11:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him all the things you said here. Also, if he works 2-10 maybe he could show up at your house at 7 or 8 two or three times a week and walk the dog or clean up after it if need be. Also let him know that you don't have to be intimate regularly to still be in love with him. When there is time and both are in the mood it is worth the wait.
2007-10-18 09:12:33 · answer #2 · answered by Steven R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost, be honest with your boyfriend.
Explain your situation. Tell him that you would love to be more intimate but due to all of the chores, the puppy, work, and different schedules, you are exhausted.
Perhaps, you should ask him to give you a hand with the puppy.
If his hours are different than yours, perhaps he might be willing to share some of the responsibilities of caring for the dog.
Lets' face it, a puppy is like having a baby. They require care and lots of love and attention. If your boyfriend purchased the puppy for you, he should also play a part in caring for it if he would like to have special times with you. Maybe, he would even be willing to assist you in some of your daily chores.
Although, you must not over whelm yourself with too many things. You also need time to smell the roses so to speak.
Perhaps, you could look at your schedule and see if there are some things that could be scaled down.
Maybe, if you schedule a special night for you and your boyfriend whereby, the only other things you do is love your puppy, perhaps, you won't be as stressed out.
2007-10-18 09:15:18 · answer #3 · answered by spha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly whats going on.
Right now you feel obligated to make him happy or at least not put any strain into his life.
He might feel the same way.
Maybe take a break of about a week or so and see if this lack of time is making you not want to be with him.
If things work out between you two, then I suggest taking a day off about once a month, every two weeks, or a week and making sure he does the same day so you two can spend time together rather than TRYING to make time.
2007-10-18 09:09:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my girlfriend and I experienced a similar problem, although we decided to hold off on the puppy until a time when things were more settled. It was obvious that we both still loved each other but that schedules made it hard to have some meaningful time together. I started by making dinner while she was at work. She would return the favor by doing my laundry while I was at school. She would write little love notes and slip them in my shirts. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship before? I found this situation similar. We both had to work at communication and letting the other one know that you still desire them. We sent sexy pictures to each other via e-mail or cell phones. Dirty text messages, too. This helped to keep the desire up so when we did have time together we got down, crazy style.
2007-10-18 09:08:29 · answer #5 · answered by peley9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is his occupation? Is he an engineer or a technical guy? Just blurt it out like a fact sheet then. Is he an artist who thinks in 10 dimensions at once? Paint him your emotional landscape on paper with words. Whatever you do, just be honest. Don't hide behind definitions and nuances. Don't expect him to understand what you can't explain - literally.
Are both you on the same page spiritually? Or, are you a buddist and he's a Christian? Bad example, but you should get the idea what I mean. That is a huge gap which takes a divine power to cross.
Good luck. Trust me, it doesn't get easier when you get married. It doesn't get easier if you believe in God or not. No, it gets harder. But... it's still easier than the alternatives.
2007-10-18 09:10:52 · answer #6 · answered by christian_cyclist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake him up early, when you've had a full night sleep and have energy. He'll either know what you feel like, or be ready to go and enjoy the attention. It's a win-win for you. A friend of mine in high school said, "you're never too sick, or too tired."
He was of course referring to men. In my experience, women usually need to be fully awake. Maybe not when things are brand new and you're ready to jump each other 24/7, but after a few months, sleep is more attractive to a tired woman than sex.
And remember, nothing says I love you like a Bxxx Jxx in the morning.
Appologies to any prudes in the audience.
2007-10-18 09:10:58 · answer #7 · answered by ima_super_geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I concer with above. Let him know. I am married and work 50 to 60 hours a week, 2 cats, and my wife works nights. (I go to bead aroung 10 and get up at 5,am, she get home around 8-9). This only leaves us 2 hours a night It is hard, but we both need to understand the others needs.
Just talk it out. When you have time when both of you are up just give him a hug and let him know that you appreciate him.
2007-10-18 09:07:50 · answer #8 · answered by Metallica_rulz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find time to give it up to your man.
You ain't the only one with a busy day/life it seems like all family's are like this now a day. You can stay up for him and give him the goodies a couple times a week. You dont want to make it a routine of not finding time to have S_ex with your man.
I'm sure you'll get in the mood after you let him touch & kiss your goodies for a few minutes.
Men always think the worse, so it's to your advantage in the long run and for your relationship to not let this continue.
2007-10-18 09:09:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men hate to hear that. Paul says in the Bible not to withhold ourselves from our spouses except in fasting to the Lord. I know some couples who are really busy and they plan one night a week for sex and nothing, I mean nothing, can cancel that appointment. If you really don't want to have sex with him then tell him that you love him a lot but to busy/tired to be "intimate". You might not like how he reacts, but not being intimate is what you want, right?
2007-10-18 09:09:49 · answer #10 · answered by J-Po 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him everything that's going on and that you still love him and that there will be time for that later... Maybe if you try doing something to make it up like set apart a day you have off to be with him, just hang out I mean, it's not necessary to "be together" for him to feel you love him. Don't feel forced to do anything you want to...just tell him how you feel... relationships = communication.... good luck :)
2007-10-18 09:08:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋