My husband thinks I am being rude to my inlaws because I do not want to spend time around them. The problem is mostly my fil. He is very obnoxious and loud. He is always cracking jokes about people and how stupid they are. He swears and uses words like ***%er , greaser, fat bit$ch, etc. I could go on, but you get the picture. I just can't stand that behavior. Confronting him is out of the question, because he likes to debate with you, and confronting him would make his day. The only way I know of dealing with him is to just avoid being around him. My husband feels that I am rude to his parents and should just be around them and put up with them like he does. I have talked to him about talking to his dad, but he is terrified of his dad's temper, so that is out of the question. Until my husband grows a backbone I do not see me being around his family much. Do you think I am being rude to them?
2007-10-18 08:37:51 · 10 answers · asked by I39 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
So Fly, I have thought many times that I feel disrespected by my husband. It truly hurts my feelings. Also, my mil would be no help. She completely and blindly adores the man and hangs on every word he says. She is one of those people who is really an emotional "mess" and just acts happy as a clam. I think I am for the most part very respectful toward the family in other ways. I do not talk about them behind their backs and I have been very forgiving and accepting of much of their innapropriate behavior. I am to a point where I am wondering how much more of this man I can possibly tolerate. We live in the same yard as my inlaws and while my husband does not approve of his dad's behavior, he insists on tolerating it.
2007-10-18 09:19:01 · update #1
I think you should buy him a Bible(KJV) with his name engraved on it and give it to him for Christmas.
2007-10-18 08:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by hmm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't dictate the behavior of another person in their own home. If his language is as offensive as you say I would severely limit the contact that I had with him. This will become increasingly important as grandchildren enter the picture. Can you enlist any help from your mother-in -law? This is probably not an issue that you can change unless you simply state what you will tolerate in your own home. Visit when your father-in -law is not at home or simply leave the room whenever he begins to mouth off. Sadly, your husband does not want to lose his fathers love and he should not be put in the middle of a choice between his parents and you.
2007-10-18 08:49:32 · answer #2 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My in-laws are ***** too. Lol, except my fil, he's the decent one out to the bunch. But my mil and sil like to take cracks at you and say nasty comments when your around. My husband too lacks a backbone and I told him I refuse to be around people like that. He got mad at first but then I said...listen pal until you grow a pair and say something to them I'm not going to another family get together as long as I live. What makes me the most mad is that I wouldn't let my family be that way around him. And if I couldn't stop my families behavior I wouldn't make my husband join family functions. The basic thing to tell him is, life is short, and you don't want to be spending it around people that have no morals and social skills.
2007-10-18 09:28:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think you are being rude at all. I think your husband need to respect how you feel and take the time to confront his father about his unacceptable behavior. But if I was in the same situation I would do the same thing just try to avoid the situation or confront him myself in a respectful manner.
2007-10-18 08:44:11 · answer #4 · answered by So Fly 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think his dad is being rude to you. You're not making a big stink about it either, you just don't want to be around the guy.
I'm sure your husband is sad because he loves his parents, but he grew up w/ it, so it's easier for him. If he wants to hang out w/ them w/o you, that shouldn't be a big deal. Before we moved, my man used to stay at home whenever I hung out w/ my parents.(My mom rubs some people the wrong way)
Perhaps invite them over sometime for something where his behavior won't be so dominant? You could even hang out w/ his mom only, and just bond w/ her. She may be able to get him to tone it down too if she knows that's why you're not coming around.
2007-10-18 08:55:55 · answer #5 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no ur not being rude if his father acts like that and ur an adult and dont wanna lisen 2 his mouth then u dont have 2 just tell u husband that ur not tryin 2 be rude but ur just not going 2 listen 2 it anymore
God bless and i hope this helps u
2007-10-18 08:44:39 · answer #6 · answered by raven m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be rude if you went around and said something out of anger... by removing yourself from the situation I think you are taking the higher ground. Good luck
2007-10-18 08:46:30 · answer #7 · answered by daniegirl917 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No your not rude your husband needs to see things from your perspective
2007-10-18 08:45:58 · answer #8 · answered by RAINBOW 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.I think your doing the right thing by not being around him instead of causing trouble.
2007-10-18 09:15:04 · answer #9 · answered by Ms.Danielle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i wouldn't be around that nonsense either. tell your husband that his father is being rude and you don't want to be bothered with him. if your husband can't except that then oh well.
2007-10-18 08:45:17 · answer #10 · answered by Hopethishelps! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋