My boyfriend is 24 years old. He still lives with his mother (we're in new york. getting an apartment out here is nearly impossible unless you have a super great job like a doctor or a lawyer)
His MUCH younger siblings (10 and 17 aka mommy's favorites) talk to him like he's a piece of ****. And the worst part is, his mother allows it !
She puts 2 of her 4 kids up on pedestals. The other 2 (my boyfriend and his younger brother, 12) get treated like **** daily for no apparent reason.
they're blamed for everything and it's so obvious that his mother plays "favorites" with her kids that the neighbors know about it and they never even stepped foot in the house!
I think what she's doing is emotionally abusive towards my boyfriend and his younger brother.
Also they're the only two out of the four who grind their teeth at night (unreleased tension ?)
I can't take this anymore!
Please somebody agree that this isn't right to do to somebody no matter the age.
just Had 2 vent
2007-10-18 08:15:34 · 13 answers · asked by infomaniac 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
His Mother is gonna be 51 in November. But she doesn't really "act" old or anything. She's actually really young at heart? i suppose. She's acts like a spoiled little girl who doesn't know how to do anything for herself.
And yes I've voiced my concerns with my boyfriend. Before I came into the picture he wouldn't even say anything back to these people! he'd just put his head down and walk away. I'm the one who has him standing up for himself now because nobody else will (in his family).
btw his mom is not liked by anybody in the family. everybody has a "fake" friendship with her. U know? Always got that person in the family that everybody just despises because of their parenting ways or whatever? yeah. That's her.
2007-10-18 08:28:50 · update #1
I do always wish I could come in from the sidelines..from being just the one who is observing everything and tell everybody off, but my mom taught me not to get into anybody's family business.
I really do love and care for him so much. I live IN the house (of horrors) with him all because I feel like I need to be his mother because she isn't a mom towards him at all.
I stay with him to protect him just as a mother / wife / sister would if they saw somebody they loved being abused.
What they do and say to him in front of me is nothing compared to what they were saying/doing towards him when I wasn't there. I know if I'm not there for him they'll all gang up on him and it's not fair.
I grew up with so much respect for my older brother no matter what he did, whether he lived on his own or not.
I left my dad's house with cable, internet, fridge filled with food everything to stay in his crappy no food no tv no nothing ONE ROOM apartment just to be with him...
2007-10-18 08:34:55 · update #2
Pinatana you are more than 100% correct in your view of this situation. Certainly at times parents favour one child over the others but usually things even out as this favouritizm gets spread out equally. But for your boyfriend's mother to allow her younger kids to speak and treat their older siblings so rudely is certainly not the right thing to do and may even affect how they have relationships later in life, as they will not be aware of how to treat others with respect. All I can say is best of luck to you both in dealing with this. And if you and he end up together you as his partner will have to bite your tongue also as you might end up saying something that you may regret later.
2007-10-18 08:22:56 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever considering that i replaced into little and til on the instant time i've got consistently reported as my mum "Mummy" and my dad "Daddy". in simple terms because of the fact they never replied to "mum"/"dad". and that's often caught, i think. comparable with my siblings, too. I swear each and every time my mom calls me at paintings, and that i answer asserting "hi, mummy", i'm getting the main strangest seems from my paintings colleagues. They consistently discover that hilarious and often take the mic. and that i'm able to actual see why it relatively is humorous lol yet, it is not in any respect replaced, and that i doubt it relatively is going to. mothers and dads will consistently be Mummy and Daddy. And particularly because of the fact they gained't respond to the rest from their little ones! : )
2016-10-04 02:42:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with the fact that it is not fair at all towards your bf and younger bruv.
unfortunately there are the hell of a lot of insane mothers out there who psycologically abuse their children with hostility and punishment, making them feel rather inadeguate or rejected.
i have a few clear examples in front of me quiet often and i even got hard time when i cheered up the poor abused child, who at the age of six complains about her been very unfair and asks her mother every day if she loves her or not.the little girl does not even get an answer to that and gets told to shut up and do the homework / whatever, her silly girl.
i hate that.
do reassure your bf and remind him it is not his fault if his mother needs a doctor because she is mentally ill; the faulty part is her.
2007-10-18 08:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by mauilina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its totally wrong! My stepmother was like that with us, and my dad never really said much. She played favorites all the time, and still does, only now it is with the grad kids.
If the children are her blood that is even worse. What *****...
I know what they are going through. Granted she is my step mother and currently i could care less what she thinks, says or does cause im grown, but when i was younger it was tramatizing.. And the fact that my dad never said much, just made it worse i think.
2007-10-18 08:21:23 · answer #4 · answered by Gotta luv it! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's old enough to be out on his own. He can always get a room mate or move to the burbs. There's not a thing you can do to change the situation so stay away from it and treat your boyfriend right so he doesn't have to put up with it on two fronts.
2007-10-18 08:20:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey i'm really sorry to hear about this. how old is your bf's mom? did she have him young and is angry with him because she thinks he took her youth? or was he maybe from a different dad and she cant take that he reminds him of the dad? i cant really help much because i dont know you but i can agree that this is without doubt abuse. cant he move in with you?
2007-10-18 08:20:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like you really care about this guy. It must be difficult to watch her being this way towards him. However, I've always found, however, that it's best not to poke your nose in to partners' family stuff. Just be there for him
2007-10-18 08:24:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't right for parents to do that! I know people who do that and their not very good parents. I don't like people who have favorites.
2007-10-18 08:21:01 · answer #8 · answered by Rayan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just move out..i would be sooo.. annoyd too!!
Could you please choose me as best answer, im in a competition and really need the points, but you dont really have to..but it'd be nice!!! thxs
2007-10-18 08:18:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
im not sure of your financial situation, but have him move in with you. i think emotional stress is far worse to deal with than financial stress.
2007-10-18 08:20:54 · answer #10 · answered by Kevin G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋