Teaching self esteem?

Question

When I was young, self esteem was something that grew out of a sense of accomplishment and was hard won in competition and overcoming challenges, mental, physical, social etc...
In contrast, with the 'dumming down' of our schools, self esteem is being taught.
It is being presented as wrong for a child to feel shame, or go through the things that actually build character.
would a child not feel more REAL esteem, if he were to pass a difficult test, rather than be told he is as good as everyone else, even though he put forth no effort and still failed a less challengine assignment?
I liken this to building muscle. lifting a feather, rather not even trying and , h3ence NOT lifting it, compared to actual weight training that is a struggle for the muscles. No amount of undeserved ego stroking will make the muscle grow, but the visible and emotional gain from the realized benefits from doing the task are immeasurable (OK you CAN measure the muscle, but you get the point)
Thoughts?

edamameb, at what point did I state that others should be put down? I did not!
Everyone should feel great and have good self esteem if that person give true effort, even if he/she is not the best (only one CAN be so everyone else falls into that catagory!)
It is dishonest of you to draw the conclusion you did and then accuse ME of what YOU think!

Answer 1

Your Right in all that, when we played baseball as kids and we lost it was "too bad, try harder next time" now its your still a winner in your heart or some other nonsense, people dont work hard and dont wanna hear why they didnt accomplish their goal.

Answer 2

I absolutely agree with you. While I don't necessarily think that shame and degradation are character-building, I do think that the avoidance of these develops a real sense of pride that many young people today don't have. So many students want to take the easy class so that they can keep their GPAs high (not realizing that colleges look at rigor, as well as absolute GPA). And I'm really tired of people blaming me for "ruining" their grades when I merely gave them what they earned. If everything comes easy, nothing is valued.

Answer 3

Every person progresses at his own pace. For someone who isn't athletic, to be able to even participate in a sports event, is a big deal to them. I don't think there is anything wrong with schools teaching children to learn to be proud of themselves.

If you think your child is superior in some aspect, then help them to nurture their talents. Why point out that the rest of the group is inferior?

Edited to say: Puhleeze - I said "you" as a figure of speech to place any reader into a first perspective point of view. You're taking it personally and I wonder why? Conscience perhaps? This coming from someone who views recognizing varying degrees of talent in children as the "dumbing down" of the education system... I wasn't targeting you before but I definitely do not hesitate to put your rude, competitive personality in its place. If you don't like it when people tell it as it is, don't ask for OPINIONS plain and simple.