My parents are very religious. I am not. They don't believe in living together before you are married.?

Question

Does that make it ok for my father to say that I am "living as his (my boyfriends) whore?" I am 27 years old, and we have been together for 2 years. I told him I thought that was an inappropriate thing to say.

Of course he also told my 29 yr old sister she was a "creep" because she told my mom not to wake up her napping 1 yr old.

Interestingly, my parents live 900 miles away from me and he has never met my boyfriend, so really he has no clue.

This is the same man who told me that Jewel and NSYNC were gangster rap and not to bring it in his house. LOL

Answer 1

I have a similar problem with my boyfriend's parents who are extremely strict. I'm only 19 and so is he, I’m a month older than him. His parents are not even letting him come over to my house and we are not sexually active, we believe we're too young and we want to get somewhere in our lives before we do that. He wants to move out of his parents' house but they want him to stay because they want someone to yell at for every little thing because they play favorites to the extreme. They live in the middle of the country like a prison. He needs to find a new job but they force him to stay home as if to punish him for not having a job in the first place and it aggravates both of us who are looking for jobs. We are not going to let these a$$holes ruin our future plans though. In less than a year hopefully he will have an apartment like he plans though I’m not sure I will be living with him yet.
Ok, for your problem, I suggest you flat ignore your parents, they sounds like the kind of people who sit and complain about all the other religious people and their religions all day when they are the true extremists. I don't want to sound like a ***** but you are 27, you are more than old enough to make your own choices so if you really want to move in with your man, I say go for it. Let your parents wallow in their religion like all the other religious extremists of the world. I honestly do not believe in religion I think it is a manmade tradition that only controls peoples' minds and tells them how to live their lives, what to do, when to do it, and to shove it onto others as much as possible because 'God will be mad if we do not obey his every command'. I have a more thorough belief: God does not pay attention to religion, He pays heed to how we live our own lives religious or not and that religious people are just lifeless fanatics. If they want to think that you are his whore, whatever, that's their problem and God will pay them for thinking that of you because you know and He knows you are not. Love is far more holy than being religiously fanatic, trust me, I grew up around way too many people who based their everyday lives on the fricking Bible. I love God and Jesus and believe in them 100%, but I know what they prefer to see us do with our lives and that is not to sit around and constantly worry on how we are being judged so that we may base our whole lives on what we THINK God wants us to do: worship Him and worry about what he thinks of us. I say ignore what your dad says because it is very ignorant and that is not very nice to say and God knows it and live with your boyfriend.

Answer 2

That was very wrong of your father to say! BUT yes it is wrong to live together before you are married.

People are saying "well times are different now" and this is how the older generation feels. There are ALOT of things we have come to accept now days that are wrong. Can you honestly say the world is a better place now. Of course it's not. Maybe if we would of continued with people having higher morals the world wouldn't be as messed up as it is.

By the way I'm not exactly older as I am 49, I grew up with religion and still have my beliefs and morals. Also your views will change when you have your own children and they want to do some of the things you have.

Answer 3

It is not an appropriate thing to say and I would not tolerate it. I would tell him that he can not talk to you that way and that you will no longer tolerate it. If he does it again I would leave. You do not have to take that just because he is your father. You are an adult and can do as you please. What he believes should not dictate what you believe or how you act. There is nothing wrong with living with your boyfriend. I guess that your dad was a saint. If they are so religious why are they judging you. That is not for them to do. I would tell him when he can stand before God with a perfect sin free life then he can complain about your actions. Stand up for yourself and quit taking this treatment. If this is how he treats you I would have nothing to do with him. What are you losing? A man that thinks that you are a whore. Live your life for you and be happy. Good luck.

Answer 4

This is common situation where one's parents are so closed minded to the point that, they havent realized that society has completely left them behind. Things are not like they were 40years ago, and if they are calling you a whore, I cant imagine what they think of gays, foreigners, plastic surgeons, Babptists, or anyone else that does not live a lifestyle exactly like theirs. How can they even turn on the television or walk out the door, without calling everyone a whore!

Answer 5

Girl. You may think you are happy with your situation. Dad sure got carried away with his words. Listen. Family life in the USA has deteriorated to the point where there are few morals found. This is partly because of parents having kids and not raising them.

Religious??? If there is a God and there is child, you may want Him on your side. You may not think you are religious, but you have a conscience and that is why you question yourself. Look to the future and think about your kids! Sounds like it is time for a reality check!!!!!!

Answer 6

His words are inappropriate, at best. Despite his own feelings about your situation, to try to hurt you like that reflects and inadequate relation with God. The old adage of hate the sin but love the sinner still holds.

But don't accept any opinion that living together is "just how things are now." It still reflects a certain lack of commitment and has in no way been shown to improve one's chances of having a successful relationship. In fact, I believe the statistics are still against the success of living together.

Answer 7

I'm 21 and Living with my bf(24). Some People in his family said that about me and all he told them Was "I have to Live with her not you! so Until you Live with her and Know whats shes about Don't talk about her! she Makes Me happy and I make her happy So get over it!!!" You are 27 a full grown person you make your own Decisions and Pay your Own bills Stand up to your father and tell him your going to Live you Life Hes not going to Live it for you.

Answer 8

Your Dad called you a "whore?" Man, I would have slapped him and not spoken to him until he apologized. He is entitled to his opinion on your living situation, but he also needs to mind his manners. There is a thing called tact that your father needs to learn about.

Answer 9

I agree, however sometimes I think it's hard for the older generation to come to terms with the way things are now. I think that in this day and age if you DON'T live with someone before marriage your a total idiot! Keep doing what your doing and let him be mad. He'll get over it.

Answer 10

of course it was an inappropriate thing to say - whether he believes it, or he was just trying to make you feel bad and manipulate your behavior.