They were divorced 11/2 yrs ago. He gave me a ring and asked me to marry him April of this yr. I said yes,we live together, but I found out that he still calls his xwife many times a month. This makes me upset. Is this right of him or am I just being nuts?
2007-10-18 07:29:44 · 27 answers · asked by Angelic G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
no he has no chirlden. And were in our 60's
2007-10-18 07:59:04 · update #1
They were married for about 25 yrs. she is a drinker and he could not deal with that. She wanted the divorce and she got it. He went on line to a dating place and put in his profile to relocate and find a long term relationship. That is where I meet him. I know he cheated on his wife for many years before I met him, he told me that. He said when I met him that he had stopped loving her at least 5 years before I met him. He movied her to Oregon by me from NV. As the divorce was going on he talked with her and they handled things on phone. She took care of everything. But now every thing is done over year now, and he still with out me knowing calls her. I found out from his phone bill it shows all his calls.
2007-10-18 09:06:20 · update #2
He gets very upset if I talk to him about it. I thought he was not calling her any more but just seen last phone bill and he has been at least 16 time in Sept he or she called. They are friends but still when will this stop?
2007-10-18 09:09:10 · update #3
It would depend on his reason for calling. If they have children, then he has a good excuse. If they own property in common, that counts too. If he's just calling to chat, I'd reconsider my commitment to him. And his to me.
2007-10-18 07:34:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi,
How long were they married? Who wanted the divorce?
If they were married for 20 or 30 years, it could be possible that she, unfortunately, is one of his closest friends.
I don't know if him talking to her "many times a month" is as worrisome as the "I found out" part.
If he has been calling her and hiding the fact from you, unless you are an obsessively jealous person which might give him a reason to hide the calls, I'd be more concerned with the lack of trust and honesty, then the telephone calls.
I'd talk to him, find out why he feels the need to talk to her so regularly and more importantly why he feels the need to hide it from you.
If it upsets you, ask him to either stop calling her or call her while you're there, if he isn't willing to do either one of those, halt the wedding plans. You'll need to decide whether you want to put up with this forever.
Good Luck
2007-10-18 08:46:31 · answer #2 · answered by Grannie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only reason he would have to still be calling her is if they had kids. If there are no kids involved I would ask him about it. If they ended on good terms I can understand talking every now and then. Maybe a cople of times a month (i'd prefer once).Find out what his motive is for calling her. Better yet, have you set a date. Start planning the wedding and see how he reacts. If he hesitant something is up. If he rolls with it you probably have a keeper and nothing to worry about because if hew was having doubts and thinking about her it would keep him from thinking about his future with you.
2007-10-18 07:47:10 · answer #3 · answered by curious1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think it will stop you need to see how he really feels about her they were married for 25+ yrs and you said she wanted the divorce maybe he didn't but did it just to please her they really have history not saying that gives him the right to keep calling her since he moved her near you and keep putting her in your life then i would ask them together (so that they can't say she said he said )what is the deal with all the calling between you two because the divorce is final and unless kids are involved( well at this age if kids were involved they would be grown and they could call their own dad without moms help)they don't need to do much talking to each other its okay to be friends but you should know when they are talking not sneaking and talking behind your back i hope you find peace in your situation God Bless You and keep you always GRACE&PEACE
2007-10-18 22:26:20 · answer #4 · answered by mygirlfriends_now 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, the animals get what they want from you then they wait around until they pick up on a new scent and they drop what they have and run for the new one. Then they do the same thing to the new one..and on and on and on. They are all the same. They are NEVER happy with just one female for very long. They do this for their entire lifetime. Don't ever trust them! Sorry to give you such bad news but I'm an older lady and I have seen this over and over throughout my whole adult life. It never has changed! Good luck!
2016-03-13 01:26:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents divorced a couple years ago but they are still best friends. As his fiance, you have to understand that this woman was a large part of his life. Just because they aren't married anymore doesn't mean they shouldn't speak to each other. My mom tells me all the time that my dad is her best friend and that as that, as a man, he's a great guy (although I see differently) but as a husband "he was sh!t" (he cheated on her repeatedly).
You can't stop him from talking to her... and you shouldn't want to. It'll just make him mad if you try to tell him he can't call her anymore.
2007-10-18 15:33:53 · answer #6 · answered by dramababy500 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not enough info to answeer intellegently, but I will say this; if they have come to terms with the end of their romantic relationship and found that they could still be friends, that speaks highly of both of their maturity levels. HOWEVER, if he chooses her confidance and friendship over yours, then you need to speak with him and tell him that this makes you uncomfortable (which you should be doing anyway, given that you said you have some unease.) If they have children, well that automatically gives them both a vested interest together, and trust me, you will appreciate two exes that get along instead of two that are constantly at each others throats! I think bottom line, you should be expressing you feelings to him and giving him the chance to help you understand their relationship. Blessings........
2007-10-18 07:41:49 · answer #7 · answered by jmizzle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
unless they have children together then no its not ok. Sure they can say hi to each other if the happen to run into each other but i mean what business does he really have calling his ex? Its good they have a civil relationship; but he shouldnt be calling her many times a month. thats crazy. your going to be his new wife if you dont like it, say so. voice your opinion.
who cares how long they were together an ex is an ex.
ps. i dont think ur nuts :P
2007-10-18 07:36:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends if they have children or not. If they do - then yes it's more than appropriate for the two to speak.
If this makes you uncomfortable, you really need to clear the air with him and tell him how his frequent calls make you feel.
But between you, me and the lamppost, I am not sure he's quite as "over" her as he would be willing to admit.
2007-10-18 07:50:46 · answer #9 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do they have children? Is he hiding the phone calls from you? How honest is he with you about these conversations that he's having? If you have any doubts, talk to him about it before jumping to any conclusions.
2007-10-18 07:48:38 · answer #10 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋