thank you card time...problem..help??

Question

I got married August 4th and now it's time to send out the thank you cards. The issue I have is some very very good friends of ours came but we never saw a gift from them. Not that we wants gifts nor do we care for them. But these friends were telling us what they were getting us for our gift and on the wedding day we did not see one from them. Then just a few days ago they asked us if another friend gave a gift and we said no and they said oh really. Now that got me thinking ...why would they ask us that if they did not get us a gift. I feel awful because I will send them a card thanking them for their presence at our wedding. But I'm afraid that maybe they did get a gift and we never recieved it?? I want to ask but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. I was just going to include a thank you for a gift...just to cover...just in case. What do I do???

Answer 1

Go ahead with your plan to thank them for coming. If they did give you a gift, they will probably realize you didnt get it when they read your note. If not, youre still in the clear.

Answer 2

Per Miss Manners, the host shouldn't send a thank you letter or note to the guests, it is the other way around -- the guests send the host a note or letter thanking them for the wonderful party or dinner. A guest may substitute a gift for the note, or send both. Anytime you receive a gift, you send a handwritten (not pre-printed) message of thanks, either on letter stationery or on a blank formal or informal note card.

Do you have a mutual friend? If yes, tell this person that you've lost track of what it was these mysterious folks gifted you with and you'd like him/her to discreetly find out for you. This person maybe could say something like "Weren't those lovely note cards Marilyn chose for her thank yous? I gave her a toaster. What did you give her?" If your mutual friend is a good Sherlock Holmes, she/he will get you some facts.

If you don't have a mutual friend, then hold off on the thank you note to the mystery people. But next time you see them say something about what a chore it was to write and send all those thank you notes. If they were expecting a thank you and didn't receive one, they might say so. Then you say something like "Son of a gun, I'm sure I sent one. Let me get your address again; maybe I made a mistake." Then
look embarrassed and apologize for not remembering which gift came from whom, could they please remind you?

Answer 3

Sometimes gifts and cards get lost in the wedding that happened to me when I got married 14 years ago the best thing to do is write the thank you note and say thank you for spending our speical day with us if you think that got you a gift say thank you for your generous gift. One lady gave a gift for us and there was no card attached so we send them a thank you with a picture saying the above things. You have proper manners and you care about others that is a wonderful quality in a person:)

Answer 4

Go ahead and send a card thanking them for their presence at your wedding. If they are very very good friends, they probably would have already asked you how you were enjoying the gift they had gotten you, had they actually got you one. But just the same, if they read the card, and say hey, don't you like the _____. You can say well I never got it.

Answer 5

I had this happen. I was not sure if someone gave us a gift, so in the thank you card I just said thank you for everything. That way you do not have to ask someone if they gave you a gift and you are covered if they did.

Answer 6

another idea is say that you hear that alot of gifts are taken from weddings and you wanted to make sure the gift wasn't stolen...If they are close enough to tell you what they bought then they are close enough to ask hey did you bring it we didn't recieve it and send a thank you for your presence no matter what!!!

Answer 7

thank you notes for any sort of journey could desire to consistently be handwritten. as far via fact the "seem" of the table certain, you could extremely do notwithstanding that's you like. the marriage thank you would not unavoidably could desire to journey the invitation, even though it relatively is generally greater low-fee to purchase the thank yous once you purchase the invites. It additionally lends a feeling of cohesiveness while all of it fits IMO. in common terms a be conscious on pre-revealed thank you's. at the same time as there is not any longer something incorrect with having some thing pre-revealed, you relatively could desire to write some thing own in each and every between the thank you notes (signatures do no longer count form). I basically won a marriage thank you 11 months after the marriage and all it reported became into "Love So and So." After the rate of getting to the marriage and the numerous presents, we the two felt slightly slighted with the cop-out of a thank you!

Answer 8

I would thank them for coming ot the wedding and sharing your day with you. Do not mention a gift. Let them ask you first if you recieved it. You wouldn't want to sound rude by not mentioning what they gave you.

Answer 9

If they are close enough friends to tell you what they got you then I would ask them if they brought it to the wedding. Tell them you never got anything but if they did not that is fine too. I would not send a thank you card if they did not give you anything. What are going to thank them for. Usually you say Thank you for the towels, I will really use them or something like that.

Answer 10

I wrote mine in order. First I wrote the thank you notes for the people farthest away--as in distant relatives, friends of my parents, people I did not expect to get me a gift.

Then I wrote the ones who were more than generous. Some people did something especially nice and I sent their thank-yous off then.

I left close friends and family for last--they are the most patient, you knew they were going to get you something, and they know exactly how many thankyou notes you are trying to get out.

Like you I had several friends who kept that up for a while. One of my groomsmen--for months--kept saying Oh I have your gift at my house. I'll bring it next weekend. I'll bring it when I come down to visit you. For a while I thought I was helping by reminding him to bring it. After a few months I realized he was lying and didn't get us anything (upsetting since he'd gotten married a year before and we spent a lot on his). Let it go.

But if its a friend you really do think got you something, did you have any "unidentified gifts" (gifts without cards)? If so, you mentioned those were close friends. Go out to dinner with them and explain how you wanted a break from writing all those thank you notes. Talk about what you are up to--and then you can casually mention "did you guys get us something? i'm looking for the giver of an unidentified crock pot". Then if they say no, just pretend to be grateful. Either Oh yes--thats one less note to write or Oh no--then I dont have any idea who got us that.

I had several friends not get us anything at all and I knew it. I got to those thank you notes last and just mentioned Thanks for coming. It was great you could make it. I posted pictures online at thissite.com if you'd like to check them out. Though for the one really really close friend that kept on and on promising it was just at his house--I wrote him
Thank you for the ______. We are so glad you thought of us on this special day. We have it already out in our kitchen and look forward to using it many times. Again, the ____ was just what we wanted.

I literally included the blanks and told him once he brought it over out of his house he could fill in the blanks. But no--dont do a specific thank you for the gift when you KNOW they didnt get you anything. If they are really close friends you should feel comfortable asking them, just to make sure. If it was a check, they'd be glad to know so they can cancel it. If they are as close friends as you claim, they are going to know that a generic thank you for the gift without mentioning what isn't your style. If they didnt get you anything, they feel guilty for taking credit for someone elses gift.