my grandmother doesn't want to see a psycharist?

Question

sorry if I misspelled but how do I convince her to see one? She's 79 and depressed and lost her husband last week so she's still grieving. She had breast cancer which was found early and hadn't had it again since (that was 6 years ago) and last year, she broke her hip but recovered and don't have problems walking. She thinks she got nothing to look forward to and nothing will get better and she thinks she's bad off and worst than most people which is not true. She won't see someone about it and I want her to. Even if she doesn't think it'll help, how would she know if she doesn't try? She might not care about herself or life but I and my family do.

Answer 1

Please give your grandmother a chance to grieve in peace. There is nothing wrong with feeling down so soon after her bereavement. By pressuring her to see a psychiatrist so soon, your family is basically devaluing her entirely legitimate sorrow. Be there for her, but don't try to label this a psychological problem. It is a natural part of life and she deserves a chance to work through it for herself. Now if her grief lasts for more than a year, she might need help and you can bring up the subject again. But for right now, just let her know how much you all love her and value her in your lives.

The previous suggestions from redhot are also excellent.

Answer 2

Her family Dr. should be called and informed. Let him handle it. He can request she come in for a test or a check-up.
He can also prescribe antidepressants.

You may not realize, but the funeral home (atleast most do) provides a certain number of visits to a grief counselor during the year after the death. That is another approach.

Do realize, that anyone in her circumstances, having lost her soulmate just a week ago is going to go through some deep grief. Take her on walks outside often, and offer food and drink. But, do realize a part of her is simply missing without him.

Answer 3

It is not uncommon for the partner of an elderly spouse whose died dies within a year or two of that spouse's death. I hope that is not the case for your grandmother. While I understand your wanting to help her, she is a grown up lady and doesn't want to be pushed around by her children and grandchildren. Keep telling her you are worried for her health. The will and desire to want to get help and live happily again will have to come from her. You could contact social services. They usually have an elderly care department to have a social worker come and visit her if she gets worse.

Answer 4

First, I'm sorry for your personal loss as well as your grandmother's.

I also encourage you to think about giving her some more time. she may be going through some shock, just feeling numb and not knowing what to do. Or overwhelmed by all those things in her home that remind her of her husband. Your concern though is very admirable.

If in a month or so (given that she is grieving in a healthy mannor-that is NOT thinking about harming herself to be with him, etc.) Then is the time that you may want to bring up some things. If you currently feel that your grandmother is capable and thinking about doing something rash, tell your parents, or your grandmother's doctor.

Even though you are someone whom cares about her, generally, family won't talk to other family about their personal problems, because they are always there and people make excuses..."My son is too busy, my stuff really isn't that important." Or "Why would I want to trouble my grandson or granddaughter with my problems."

This is very trying. I would try and contact a greif support group contact person. Go to a meeting and see if there is someone else there who will go with you to see your grandmother. Once she knows someone in the group, she may feel safer to go. (A group is less threatening). One more thing to remind yourself about, when your grandmother was young, many beliefs back in that time was to not "air out your dirty laundry in public" and if you went to a professional, "It meant that you were weak or crazy." There is a giant stigma there, one that she has probably bought into. Mental health didn't really get under way until the late 1940's by Mennonites who were conscientous objectors for the war. They went into a lot of mental health "hospitals" and showed them more as kennels for people. People were mistreated, sitting in their own feces and filth. (Your grandmother may remember these horror stories getting broadcasted in news reals at the movies.) Another thing is in 1969, Mental health professionals were using anti-epilepctic seizure medications to treat Bi-Polar and Schizophrenia. It has only been since the late 80's that there has been some strong progress in mental health drugs designed to be mental health drugs.

If your grandmother attends a group, and someone recommends that she try an antidepressant, get some literature and SIT with her and read it over. Also contact your local state Department on Aging. They have statistics about depression and the aged. In Kansas, we have a good department on aging. And their facts and figures are really helpful. In '05 a study reported that over 80 million americans suffer from depression in general.

I truely hope for you the best in all your endeavors, and again, I'm sorry for your loss.

Sorry if I gave you more than you wanted to read, I'm a mental health advocate in my area and work with many people find resouces here for various social work kind of problems. Everything from food pantries, prescription funding and applications to drug company's, to organizing mental health retreats and the like. I am a third generation Manic-Depressive. My grandmother had it, then my mother then me. From female to female generational offspring, the diagnosis of MD will be found in 80% of the women. From Father to son, around 60%.

my email address is [e-mail] if you feel you need someone to talk with about your situation.

Answer 5

Spend time with her. You don't have to do anything lavish just take her on a walk in a place with beautiful scenery. Bring her food and cook for her. Ask her if she needs any help around the house. And call and don't just talk to her but


L I S T E N.

Answer 6

She just need time, her husband just passed away last week. That would make anyone feel like there is nothing left for them. Spend time with her and listen to her.