My fiance agreed to have the wedding in Mexico so all my family would be able to attend. Big church, party and family wedding is all I wanted besides the gorgeous gown, of course. Now that we are having trouble with our wedding planner and decided to fire her he seems to have changed his mind about getting married in Mexico. He feels we will get ripped off by vendors there since we dont live in the area and would have to do business over the phone and internet. I also think it is because he probably doesnt want his family going there since it is not as nice as a carribean wedding which is what he wants. The problem is I would have to change everything I have ever wanted at my wedding. I won't be able to have a church wedding or the big gown I want or have all of my family there. Not to mention the flight and hotel stay there would cost my parents alot more than a Mexico wedding. I know it should be about us being married and not the place. Should I give up my dream wedding?
2007-10-18 06:21:53 · 10 answers · asked by Lizzie P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
There is much talk about compromise but no real compromises. Why not in Mexico but on the Caribbean so its what you both want. Cozumel would be lovely. Mexico has several resort areas that would be a perfect blend of the 2 cultures--and thats what a marriage is, a blend of two.
If thats not agreeable, why not do both? A friend of mine just got married in Mexico. He had the big Mexican traditional Catholic church wedding down there for all of her family. She is from some small town on the western half of Mexico. Then a second casual event (I'm not sure if they did the full renewal of vows or just a reception) in the New England area with all his family. The 2nd one was a casual event and not that expensive. Both events had around 200 people and they didn't want to exclude people by asking 200 to fly to just one ceremony.
However who is paying for this wedding? If it is mostly your parents, they have the say in how much this can cost. If your fiance' (or his family) isn't chipping in financially, ask for his opinions in other areas--perhaps you can chose colors and flowers that give it a more tropical/caribbean feel.
I know you had problems with that wedding planner but I think a local wedding planner is the way to go. That way you have someone to deal with all the little things and can make all your appointments to talk to florists, cake bakers, etc on the same week. You'd only have to fly down once to make final arrangements before the ceremony.
2007-10-18 06:55:02 · answer #1 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We were in the same boat. We got married in St Thomas 2 weeks ago, and we flew 12 people plus paid for 4 nights in the hotel for them. We figured if we were planning a traditional wedding at home, we'd still have spent way more than the few thousand we spent on getting our families there. It was worth every single cent, and my wedding was far beyond anything I could have ever dreamed--if my family wasn't there, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the day--we're very close and family is really important to both of us. This may work for you.
2016-05-23 09:16:52 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is about compromise, and respect for the other person. If you can not resolve this, you may have much bigger issues down the road.
Yahoo can't help you.... only sitting down with your fiance will solve this problem.
Consider both of you making a list of what you want out of this wedding. Compare the list, cross off similar items, then debate the others. If he doesn't compromise now, do you think it is going to get better after you are married?
2007-10-18 06:30:24 · answer #3 · answered by trooper3316 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does the wedding planner have to do with this. Get one from the States and as a payed trip take him or her with you to Mexico. Bilingual of coarse.
If your mom is in Mexico ask her to get information about the expenses. We are talking about allot cheaper than the getting a wedding in the Caribbean. This is your wedding and you should do it the way you want. This is suppose to be the Happiest time of your life.
2007-10-18 06:31:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, in a word, YES!!! The wedding is not all about you. It's also about your husband. Having said that, however, that doesn't mean that you simply cave in to his idea of having a wedding somewhere in the Caribbean. The two of you need to sit down and talk it out, and you need to be willing to compromise (but not surrender). You should be able to come up with a solution that you'll both be happy with as long as you're both willing to listen to each other and make some concessions. If you find that you are not willing to budge on this (or he isn't willing to budge) then you need to seriously think about whether you two should be married. BOTTOM LINE: If you both really love each other and really want to be married to each other, you'll work it out. But if either one of you insists on getting his/her way, the wedding will be only the beginning of your problems...
2007-10-18 06:34:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you have to really ask yourself. What's MORE important..The big dream wedding or marrying the man that makes you the happiest in the world? What about this as a compromise? With your parents blessings.. Why not don't they two of you get married down in mexico by yourselves? You can wear your beautiful gown. Your handsome finacee in a fancy tux, and you two get married where you had wanted to. Then come back and have a HUGEEEEEEE party to celebrate your nuptials. Without breaking your parents bank book. I hope this helps.
2007-10-18 06:29:02 · answer #6 · answered by navywife_2001 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your situation is completly different from this, but I though perhaps what my boyfriend's brother did may help. They had the wedding in AZ (where his inlaws are) and a small reception there. Then, they came up to IL after the honeymoon and had a larger reception where their friends and family could attend (she was originally from IL).
Good luck, and talk to him about why he wants to change things. Maybe your family can do some of the legwork in MEX for you two?
2007-10-18 06:56:36 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Smith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I'm sorry, but what changed his mind. That to me would be the first question, cause who's to say you wouldn't get ripped off in the Caribbean? BTW check with you local County Clerk, if your in the US social security no longer will take out of country marriages, you have to get married in the US. Law changed in Feb. Good luck either way though.
2007-10-18 06:40:03 · answer #8 · answered by TootsieGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Talk to him about his concerns and fears. You two will be able to work things out. He's just getting nervous about the money being spent in a place far away.
2007-10-18 06:30:49 · answer #9 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no dont give up. he needs to grow up, he already said yes and things got started. he will change his mind. just go on and do your things.
2007-10-18 06:29:07 · answer #10 · answered by deedee 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋