How would YOU go about determining the gender of a particular person without offending them?

Question

There's an individual that works on the same floor as I do, but I honestly can NOT figure out said person's gender. Now, don't get me wrong, people that know me also know that I do not give a damn whether I offend someone or not. But, I'd just like to... to, uh, approach this particular situation with more.... I don't know.... *tact*, I guess.


I know what I'D do, but figured I would listen (look at) [to] a few different types of solutions before proceeding, ya know.



Don-kay-shay.

The person's name is Jaime.

Haven't seen which restroom the person rolls into. Not yet, at least.

I have talked to the individual and they have one of those ambiguous, unisex-type voices.

J: I'll have to dig up the Emeril question!

Let me be clear: this is just someone that works on the same floor as I do - not a co-worker/fellow employee.

Answer 1

Hmmmm. Do they have photos around their work space? Maybe you could take a peak to see if their are kids/spouse/partner. I have a feeling with the spelling of the name that it is a woman. I don't know many men who spell Jaime that way and I live in hippieville here in VT. I would say that I have met more women who are difficult to peg than I have men. Best thing to do is wait it out to see if you can figure out the answer OR ask someone discretely. No one is going to run off to tell this person you didn't know what sex they were. If they do, they're just mean. Gosh, this is a long winded answer. xoxo

Answer 2

I know just how you feel because i use to work near a unisex person as well. This person was quite tall. fairly well built, had shortish hair, an in between voice and always wore jeans check shirt and trainers. It was only when I found her name by asking someone 'that persons' name and it was Mary that I got a clue.
With the name Jaime I would probably hazard female.
In these days of transexuals you cant even be sure with adams apples and the like. You could try asking one of Jaines colleagues 'Whats Jaime like' and see if they answer he or she.

Answer 3

It would be rude to just ask and not good for work relationships. Maybe ask what type of things Jaime is into, perhaps you can tell the gender from his/her hobbies. Also, you could ask, "so do you have a family, any kids?" And see what he/she says. Then again, he/she could be lesbien/gay, but he/she might respond with something telling.

I would be cautious with asking around. It could get back to Jaime and cause all sorts of problems. You don't need to become the office a**hole because of gossip.

I think "spying" and watching which bathroom Jaime uses is a good idea.

Answer 4

Do this. In a casual way walk by his/her office or cube or whatever and glance in. There may be a name plate or something that has a masculine or feminine name. That would be the best tip off.

If that doesn't work, then there could be cues as to the gender from the stuff on the desk. It's a bit sexist to say this but it's possible that there are more feminine type items on the desk top such as - I don't know pink colored post it notes or heart shaped picture frames. Stuff like that.

Answer 5

I have to agree with Outta Here - why do you care? This person isn't a co-worker, your not going to be expected to dance (or not) with this person at the Office Christmas Party - so why worry about it?

I think you just have too much time on your hands...or haven't figured out about the whole adam's apple thing. - two seconds of observation can tell you alot!

Answer 6

check for an atoms apple
maybe hang out with that human for a while!

but really does it matter if they are male or female
is knowing what gender someone is going to make your life any easier? Is going to help you achieve a goal?
How does this humans gender affect your life? or are you just courtious? nothing wrong with that but the most tactfull way is to just not ask!
i mean you have went on not knowing for how long? I guess i just don't see how knowing this will complete you as a human!

all else fails just ask

Answer 7

You can't tell by looking at the person what their gender is? Hmm, guess you need to strike up a conversation then. Not a difficult thing to do. If it is, then ask someone who could know whether or not said person is male or female.

Answer 8

Danke shun.

Ask one of said person's co-workers. Also, get this person's name (it might be gender specific like Lisa or Roger). Also, keep an eye on this person until they go to the bathroom. Which bathroom they walk into should be a pretty good indicator of their gender.

Answer 9

I had that problem not long ago, but was fortunate enough to see the person enter a restroom; question answered. Hmmm, maybe you can see a label on a shirt, sometimes shoes are a hint, jewelry sometimes tells...but if all else fails, ask someone who works with him/her.

Answer 10

That's hilarious. Before I got the position I have now I was actually answering phones in our answering center - and I had numerous experiences where I'd get someone named like Kelly, or Jaime, or Pat, Chris/Kris, Sam, Taylor, etc., and their voice was so ambiguous.. but usually me not knowing if they're female because they sound male.. and there was more than one occasion where the conversation went something like this:

Unisexual: "And they'll call me back, right?"
Me: "Yes.... ssiiir(?)"
Unisexual: It's Ma'am.
*D'OH*

Me: "Can I get your name please?"
Unisexual: "Bill Smith."
Me: "Thank you, Mr. Smith."
Unisexual: "No. Bill is my *husband*"
*cringe*

Then those rare times when you'd get it right and it was like a sigh of relief.
I say stalk them and yeah, see what bathroom they go into.
lol
Good luck - interested to see how this pans out.