My boyfriend works third shift and goes to sleep usually at 8am. He came into the bedroom to go to sleep than an hour later, he woke up and started touching me and waking me up in the process. I love having sex and always want him so I definantly went along with it. My problem is I kept thinking of what turned him on in his sleep - which made me not enjoy it quite as much. What's the chance that he was dreaming of another girl? Or did he really just want me? My body type (really skinny with small boobs) really isn't he idle type (like most guys he loves big boobs) so I find it hard to believe that I'm the one that turned him on. I know this is really stupid but hurts to think that he just used me when another girl turned him on - not me. Help a paranoid girlfriend feel at ease.
2007-10-18 05:17:51 · 58 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"I know this is really stupid but hurts to think that he just used me when another girl turned him on - not me."
Did you ever think that after he got off work, he was looking at you just lying there peacefully (most likely with a slight smile on your face because you noticed he came in) and jsut wanted to go at it?
Guys (and gals), bashing her isn't going to help. She has admitted to being paranoid about this, so there is no reason to harp on that. She is more so confused, which is very normal and the paranoia is what led to this possible conclusion. Just try to be more considerate
I understand your concern but thats what I would assume....and being that exact guy (worked late nights with a slender/small chested g/f) I know thats what went through my mind.
2007-10-18 05:27:29 · answer #1 · answered by Phil M 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Obviously we cannot read our partner's minds, but I think he wanted you. Take it as a compliment that he instinctively reached for you while he was asleep. After all, he could've just touched himself if he wanted to get off. You never know, he could've been dreaming about you.
I sense that you have some trust issues and insecurities within yourself. It was unfair for your bf to say that you're not his type. He should appreciate your breasts no matter how big they are; even small ones can be well-formed.
If it still bothers you, I think you should let him know. Tell him that this comment has stayed in your mind and that you were stung by it. Ask him not to say things like that to you again. Some things need to be kept to oneself. After all, how would he like it if you said you wanted his d*ck to be larger?
I think the question you need to ask yourself is this: "Can I handle this insecurity for the duration of the relationship?" Does he frequently make comments like these? If this happens often and you feel uncertain most of the time, maybe you'd be better off with someone else. Relationships should make you feel happy most of the time, not upset.
2007-10-18 05:31:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course not!
I do not believe that dreams can turn you on, but even if you do awake while having one of these dreams, you most likely wouldn't even remember it. Just relax. This is nothing out of the norm. He wanted to have it, and you let him. Don't be paranoid about your body. Actually, a lot of the guys I know, do not like big boobs. Don't worry about your body type.
If you are still really worried, talk to your boyfriend about this.
I'm sure theres a good reason why he wanted to do it at 8 in the morning :P
~Damp
2007-10-18 05:22:56 · answer #3 · answered by dampsandwich 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are looking for a mind reader.
And, you want a man to controll what happens in his dreams.
Ummm.... do you controll yours?
Seriously, he does not deserve this from you. I mean, come on, if he wasn't showing you any effection at all, you'd be here wondering if you should stay with him, but, the minute he does you get paranoid about it?
Sounds like you are insecure about YOU, and that is some baggage that you shouldn't be placing on someone else.
Now, to answer your question.
Do you not wake up snuggled up to a pillow half the time? I bet you do.... Guys are the same way, we rub up against things in our sleep, cuddle with them, it doesn't matter if there's a broom in the bed next to us, we will reach around and snuggle it.
What are you dreaming about when you snuggle your pillow? I don't know, because I don't even remember what I dream about when I do. Sure, I could be dreaming about someone else, I could also just be dreaming that the stay puff marshmallow man is about to step on my head and kill me. No worries though, because, I'll just eat my way out anyway.
Men sleep with erections, it's just a fact of life. Has nothing to do with the dreams at all. Hormones are expelled and cause it to happen.
once a month you get angry and pull out your hair, and once a night we get aroused..... Both are hormonal. Deal with it, or let the man alone.
If this sounds like I am speaking out of anger, excuse me, but, I just think that you (along with many other people, men and women alike), want to control the thoughts of others, and you can't... The fact of the matter is that he came home, when he should have, he slept next to you, and then made love to you. I'd much rather someone have an innocent dream about someone else than actually be with someone else behind my back.... wouldn't you?
2007-10-18 05:42:21 · answer #4 · answered by centexdance 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men are often horny when first waking up from sleep. You shouldn't feel so insecure and paranoid. The most attractive thing to a man is a girl that's secure with herself. You need to stop worrying about him being attracted to other girls, because this insecurity shows and makes you unattractive.
Be confident... he can't control his dreams... 9 times out of 10, if you initiate sex when he wakes up, he'll be all for it. Men love morning sex!
2007-10-18 05:22:17 · answer #5 · answered by * Kimberley * 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No need to worry....Some guys may just wake up horny. And if you've been dating and having sex regularly then you should know you definitely have no problem in turning him on. Calm down...no need to worry. You got it girl so go with it! Even if he likes big boobs and you have small ones that shouldn't matter cause he's with you anyway so yours must do him right! ;) Enjoy all the sex!!
2007-10-18 05:23:30 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Fun Lovin Chick♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No Babe don't worry. He was not dreaming of another girl. Men are just equipped to be H**ny all the time. It does not change with age either. When he got with you he was attracted to all of you, including your small boobs. Don't waste your time thinking negative, and give him all the love you have, because if you start to nag him about dreaming with other women, he may get frustrated and want to leave you. Be confident in yourself, you must be pretty if he choose you. Chin up!! :)
2007-10-18 05:30:43 · answer #7 · answered by liz g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm pretty sure it was you. After all, you were asleep next to him and you are the last thing he see before he switches off. Unless he was shouting out another girl's name, then I think you're OK. Do you have any genuine reason to believe he is being unfaithful? It sounds like you are in an active sexual relationship, why wouldn't he be turned on by you? I'm not my boyfriend's "ideal" body type etc, but if he has a horny dream, I'm sure as damnit that I'm in it! Please don't worry hun, I'm sure you're gorgeous. x
2007-10-18 05:24:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds normal for a guy to wake you up to initiate sex. You having paranoid thoughts of this nature is not, however, normal. To the point of feeling hurt over it? You need to take steps to control that type of thinking and get it out of your life, it will only ruin your relationships.
2007-10-18 05:28:16 · answer #9 · answered by dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being paranoid and enjoy. Who knows what he was dreaming of but don't let your mind automatically go in that direction. I think your body issues are fueling your paranoia. Work on those so that they don't drive a wedge between you and your man. And if he was dreaming of another girl so what? I dream about other men but that doesn't mean I don't love my husband, or that he doesn't appeal to me. ITS A DREAM! Chill out okay?
2007-10-18 05:23:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋