By far, most of my friends and significant others have been emotionally distant people. They say they care, but they don't really do much to show it, such as visit me. Also, I'm a very physical person and I love to give hugs or a encouraging pat on the shoulder. Sometimes I sit on people's laps (only if they're friends). Usually, my pals just look at me like I am strange and tolerate my touchiness. They don't really try to touch back or anything like that, not as much as I'd like. There's nothing else specific that I can lay a finger on, but I just don't sense a lot of warmth from them. I understand some people are naturally like this, but why are 90% of my friends this way? Why do I attract people like this if I'm affectionate, a trait they don't seem to appreciate? Now, I'm starting to withdraw from people, but I don't want to be an icebox, too. Sometimes I think the world is mostly made up of cold people. What can I do to draw a warmer group of people?
2007-10-18 05:02:35 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
you may have to accept that because you are so outgoing, they are attracted to you because they don't have your courage to be outgoing and hope some of that rubs off on them. It may be interesting to try to get them to be more outgoing by little steps at a time. You can start to look around at various groups or activities to find people who are more outgoing like yourself and perhaps if you start looking in different places you will find them - perhaps a bowling league, for example, or even perhaps volunteer at a hospital where your affection will be put to good use. This world needs more people like you and not less so don't withdraw by any means!!
2007-10-18 05:33:06 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it isn't about the people in your life being cold or distant, but that your expectations are too high. You admit that you are a very physical person, and could it be that you have mentally set the bar based on your treatment of people? I am a person who sets high expectations for others, and spend most of my life feeling let down by those around me. The lightbulb went off for me a couple years ago during an argument with my husband, and I realized that I was being unreasonable in what I expected. I have since learned to mentally adjust when I find myself frustrated with my loved ones. I remind myself that it is more important to be happy than to have the people around me behave the way I want them to. It seems overly simple, but I have found that I am much more content and my relationships have improved because the people around me don't constantly feel like they are letting me down.
Sometimes you just have to admit that the real problem lies with you and not those around you. Work on yourself and let everyone else be themselves.
2007-10-18 12:32:44 · answer #2 · answered by MaxitudesMamma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you seem like a very sensual person, and this may sound gross or funny or whatever, but sometimes the quietest people are the most sensual people there are. They just don't know how to show it. Some people could be very attracted to your outward love-fulled happiness and that's a great quality to have. What do you think?
2007-10-18 12:11:30 · answer #3 · answered by LoveThroughout_Time 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its probably the Fight or flight reflex everyone has.....most people are weary of someone who wants to touch them all the time.....and you must admit wanting to touch all the time itself is a little weird ...well out side of family or mate....so...yeah its a normal reaction for most people...maybe you need to be alittle less aggressive in that area....and be more mature in it !!!
2007-10-18 12:09:32 · answer #4 · answered by hghostinme 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO THEM....YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT. YOU NEED TO CONQUER. GET SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU THAT ISN'T LOVEABLE.
2007-10-18 12:28:16 · answer #5 · answered by tammy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋