Can someone give me any ideas about what they did for nervousness before the wedding? I am getting married in a few weeks...I am not nervous at all about my fiance, things are wonderful on that end. As its getting closer I feel overwhelmed with all the things that need to be straight for the wedding and then just thinking of packing at the same time to move all my stuff into his house, I feel like I am starting to lose my mind! And it seems like everyone asks a million questions about what your doing and then gives you advice on what would be their way and why what your doing isnt good enough?? and thats stressful too! What did you guys do to relax ??? I also have really bad lupus so things are taking me longer than normal to get things accomplished... I think thats bothering me too.. ;(
And no nasty answers please,
- Thanks in advance everyone - ;)
2007-10-18 04:57:46 · 28 answers · asked by Mleigh23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Take a deep breath, OK know I have a few suggestion's......one every one is just giving advice you don't have to take it, listen to them simile and say thank you for the advice I will think about it. Normally they get the hint and back off and leave you be,
Two take a bubble bath any time you feel stressed and cant run away and have a hour or two. Warm bath, room lite by candle, music of your choice. No clocks, no phone, put phones on salience. It will not kill any one to leave you a voice mail.
Take a quick trip away even if it is just 20min away. Me and my sweetie both started to stress so we took a quick trip to Vegas. We promised each other no watches, no phones, No schedule. Don't talk about the wedding. It will still be there and all the troubles and planning will be waiting for you when you return promise. We told every one they can call leave a message we will get back to them when we get a chance. Only check them once in a while and if it isn't important do call them back. (the florist calling to give an update not important)
These are just a few helpful ideas! My soon to be sister in law has lupus, I know how hard it is and how everyday life effects you. She took lots of bubble baths almost daily while planning her wedding (that is where I got it from).
Best wishes in planning your special day!
2007-10-18 07:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by typicalcagirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're going to be so stressed, I know I was. I didn't really relax until a few days before, because by then, it was too late to change anything. Don't be too hard on yourself, try to go with the flow, do the best you can. One day prior to the wedding, put all the worries aside and just enjoy it. Even though I was so stressed in the weeks leading up to the wedding, I had the best time of my life that day. Just don't forget to enjoy the day!
If you're able, put off packing until after the wedding. Unless you have a lease that you're ending, just pack the essentials, you can both go back the week after the wedding and get the rest of your stuff. It's going to take me several years to move out of my mom's house- no way could I have done it in a few weeks!
Good luck!!
2007-10-18 06:21:22 · answer #2 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you're feeling is common: You're not at all nervous about the marriage - just the wedding. You're right, there are tons of things to do. But thinking about them all the time will make you crazy.
Here are some suggestions:
ask your boss if you can take a day off work, or else find a weekend-day and dedicate that time to nothing but relaxation. Make some tea. Lounge on the couch with a good book. Listen to a symphony. Go for a walk. Do anything you want EXCEPT wedding-related tasks. Don't even think about the wedding for that one day.
Now - after you've had a chance to relax, calmly make a list of things you need to do and ask your friends and family to help you do them. Or, if you can afford it, just hire movers. It will cost you a few hundred dollars, but that is well worth preserving your sanity. And you don't need to get over-exhausted.
Also, if someone is offering you too much non-helpful advice, thank him/her for sharing and tell him/her you've already made up your mind. Just tell people (nicely) when they start to stress you out that you appreciate their concern, but that you've already sorted out everything.
First and foremost, take care of yourself. The lupus will flare up when you're tired and stressed - you don't need that right now. So you have to put yourself first. (I have fibromyalgia, and if I get too tired or stressed, I feel like i've been run over by a Mack truck - even when I'm exercising every day and trying to rest.) Know your limits and politely but firmly let others know your limits and boundaries.
Take care and don't hesitate to ask your friends and family for help.
2007-10-18 05:49:11 · answer #3 · answered by SE 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're starting to freak out, go get a massage and facial done. Shut off the phone and relax. It'll be for an hour or two. When you get back to your crazy life, when someone asks about the wedding planning say that everything is fine and don't elaborate on the details.
With me, I just got to the point where I explained to everyone around me (who was trying to help) that all the decisions have been made. The wedding is only a few weeks away and I'm not going to change anything so please no more suggestions just help me with what needs to be done. That was it. And it worked!
2007-10-18 05:51:56 · answer #4 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First take off a day to relaxe and get your mind clear go to the spa and turn of your phone just relaxe, then after the day is over before you go to bed do some time management so you will not become overloaded, write down all of the things left to do for your wedding and follow your list. Do not let anyone pull you away form the list because family and friends are just as excited as you are. as far as moving you can always call a moving company to do that for you or have family take care of that for you. Always take a deep breathe before starting and have faith
2007-10-18 05:12:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm getting married next week and I know exactly what you mean! I still have some loose ends. The only thing that has helped get over the feeling is making a list and executing those things on my list. It has gotten smaller and more manageable...don't be afraid to delegate some of the tasks. Getting it done will make you feel better. That list can only get smaller and smaller...it really helped me to actually see the list and check things off. Don't listen to people that tell you about their way. It's not their wedding. Good luck!
2007-10-18 06:58:17 · answer #6 · answered by TgrLilian 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congrats on your upcoming wedding!
I'm sorry to hear of your lupus. I'm sure it's not helping you not feeling well on top of everything else.
Enlist the help of your family and bridal party to take some of the tasks for you. Designate a "non wedding" day where you do not do or talk about anything for the wedding. Schedule a massage or just a girls' night with your friends to watch movies or something.
As for the folks that try to give you advice on how to do things "better" (which means "their way"). Try to remember they are just being helpful and may not know how it comes across.
I'm sure you'll have a wonderful wedding and I wish you much love and happiness.
2007-10-18 05:12:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Calm down sweetie. Nerves are all a matter of the mind. Take a deep breath then sit down and make a detailed list of the things you have left to do. Put them in major categories like: flowers, music, wedding clothes, packing, move, etc. Do this when you are BY YOURSELF or only include one person in your life who is responsible, nonjudgemental, non-drama and who you trust. Then, type up your list so you can stay organized and on top of things. Just getting the list done will help you feel alot more calm because you'll know there's less of a chance of forgetting things.
On the wedding day, if you're feeling a little nervous, maybe have a small drink to loosen you up a little. I'm talking like 1 glass of champagne or something....don't go boozin' it up! You don't want to stumble down the aisle! :)
2007-10-18 05:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it in your marriage ceremony night time, that is an excessive amount of stress in in the future and you can each generally be exhausted from the times parties besides. Give it an afternoon or 2. Don't fear approximately the soreness or blood. The soreness is extra of a affliction and the blood, if any, is mild. Shower in combination first. have him pass in, begin the bathe and even as he is lathering up (wait 2 mins tops, you do not wish him becoming a prune even as you take a look at to conquer nerves) pass in, drop your towel and hop in with him. You'll be in near touch so there would possibly not be room to face again and stare at eachother like children gambling general practitioner. Wash his again, allow him wash your hair and so on. Approach all of it with a lighthearted "anything occurs, occurs" spirit of affection, believe and reputation. Have a way of humour. If physically noises or the like arise, snort it off and get again to trade. This is a time for warmness and intimacy, no longer a biology lesson. Don't pass all of the approach lighting out. Candles will supply you delicate, romantic mild and candlelight makes every body appear glamorous.
2016-09-05 13:58:31 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I can totally feel your pain!!! We got married 2 months after we got engaged...talk about pressure!! I fought with my mom about the food, the alcohol, the music, the photographer...finally I had a meltdown and told her that this was my wedding and that if she didn't like what I wanted..she should just plan her own dang wedding and leave me alone. (that was bad but true...she didn't have a real ceremony so she was trying to do what she wanted for herself and not me).
As for what I did to relax....my husband (to be) and I would sit on the couch every night and watch a movie and simply just veg. No wedding talk, no reception, no family....just movie and that's it. (of course since there ALWAYS something to discuss we would set aside time to discuss whatever...when it was done...we quit) I also enlisted the help of my matron of honor to help out (that's her job right?) she was in charge of the wedding favors (filling them), getting the bridesmaid's gifts (I told her what to get) and basically anything else that I could think of I needed help with. (I bought her something special for being my matron of honor and for letting me take advantage of her).
Maybe do something along these lines....tell anyone who doesn't like what you're doing to butt out. Get your mom, mom-in-law-to-be, bridesmaids & maid/matron of honor to help with little things. That will give you some breathing room and help with some stress. And make a To-Do list everyday. That way you know what HAS to get done that particular day and you get the joy of tossing it at the end of the day.
And don't forget that Honey-do list as well. It's his wedding too and he should be helping out with whatever he can (and getting tuxes and having a bachelor party don't count as helping). If he's not detail oriented...find stuff that doesn't take much imagination and let him do that (like arranging the limo & tying ribbon around the bubble bottles)
ALSO since you're trying to move into your fiancee's house...host a moving party (no I'm not kidding) buy beer and pizza and invite all the bridesmaids & groomsmen to come over to chip in. The women can pack and the men can move. It'll get done in one night and you won't be trying to do it alone. And most people will do a lot of stuff for free beer & pizza (don't drink? offer pop) And when you can...have a NO WEDDING NO MATTER WHAT night...and simply be with your fiancee and relax. They say that this is supposed to be the happiest time of your life...but trust me that happiness comes with strings attached!! LOL
2007-10-18 06:02:02 · answer #10 · answered by Miss Sunshine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋