the begging of november and i love him but im scared about becoming an army wife. any one have any advice? whats going to happen?
2007-10-18 04:41:48 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You may be at 16 ready to be someone's wife but the military is a hard life for those left behind. Even if he isn't deployed immediately getting used to military customs, the relocation and just some of the general personality changes that occur after basic training. I'm a military brat and if it weren't for that I'm sure my boyfriend and I would not be okay during his deployment now. It would be incredibly easy to go out and run wild because he can't stop me and his family is no where around. And at your age I needed to be out enjoying myself not trying to plan around his maybe coming home for a few weeks before leaving again on another lengthy tour.
Marriage is very hard. Military marriages can be even harder as you are maintaining a marriage at least part of the time all on your own. It's hard not to get resentful that your partner is gone or to keep your emotions in check when you really want to hit some of the people complaining about minor relationship issues when you haven't seen your husband in months. That isn't to say it can't be done because I'm doing it as well as several hundreds of thousands of women around the planet but it is lonely and frustrating from time to time as well. Good luck but I might wait a little longer before you start working on the wedding plans.
2007-10-18 05:20:06 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I want to be careful how I word this I think it is wonderful that you and your fiance want get get married that is beautiful in todays society that is truly a rare find. But you are only 16. How you feel about someone at 16 is not always how you feel about them at 21? Are you afraid of losing him if you don't get married? and yes it is normal to be scared marraige is a huge expense and a lot of work. I was 24 and my husband was 30 when we got married and we are celebrating 14 years this coming week. Marraige is not easy and is very hard work. Is there a parent or a minister that can help you through the engagment process? Finish high school
I would encourage the both of you just to hold off for a while and wait to be married when things are more settled. I was engaged a long time for different reasons but I am still married. The last thing you are your fiance ever want to go through is a divorce. You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Enjoy this season you are in because honey I know from 14 years of marriage and 18 years of knowing eacother as I stated before it is hard work. Take your time and dont rush and PS I dont know if you are having sex and that is none of my business but if you are not having sex and that is one of the reasons you want to get married as normal as that is a good sex life takes years to grow and learn together not everything happens on the honeymoon my point is dont get married JUST to have sex you will be hurt.
God bless you. E4G PSBeing an army wife has a lot of stress and responsbilities I just read everyones answers on this site
Please take your time and DONT rush into this!
2007-10-18 08:23:09 · answer #2 · answered by encourager4God 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DON'T GET MARRIED!!!
At 16 you should be sneaking into clubs and 18 films, not settling down for the rest of your life. And another thing, at 26 you will be a different person to the one you are now and if you are still with your husband, you'll probably hate each other and resent the lifes you both have. Married at 16 - the next step is children and you are way to young for that. I'm not being patronising, I'm being a realist. When you get married, your frinds will all melt away because your interests and concerns will not be the same as theirs anymore.
I am begging you, don't do it. Get your life into order first. Job, house, life. Then think about all the boring stuff that eventually robs you of your soul - marriage, kids, mortgage, life insurance.
2007-10-22 04:21:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother of 3 my oldest being 16 what we want and expect for not only her but our other children is for her to get her education, we are both in the Army , Military life is not always fun, with you being so young I suggest if you really love each other wait to grow a little more..
The deployments are no fun, my husband has been in much longer than I have he has missed out on so much of our children's lives that he cant get back, and it is hard having to be both parents when the other is gone.
I am sure your thinking but we dont have any kids yet , but one day you will.
If I were your parents ( im not) I would not sign for you to get married, my daughter is a jr this yr and we are helping prepare her for College as your parents should be doing with you instead of a wedding.
Being a Military wife has its ups and downs , you have to learn to depend on you and noone else, sometimes you are even in another country away from friends family and even your husband how would you handle that being so young?
I wish you the best of luck I do.
Armywife & Soldier
2007-10-18 05:12:09 · answer #4 · answered by Justice35 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
OK, I fully, 100% get the whole army thing, I'm a new army wife myself. But 16?!?! Honey, you can legally drive and that's it! You can't vote, you can't rent a hotel, you can't do anything, you're still a child! I'm willing to guess that your boyfriend is being stationed across the states and the only reason you're marrying him is so you can live together on base and be with him. The military will take care of your financially, but what about your education?!? You aren't even finished with highschool, let alone collage! Long distance relationships CAN work if you BOTH want it, but finish school, become a legalised adult before you get married!
2007-10-18 06:51:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are too young to get married! Try living with him for a while before you decide to get married. One of the reasons people marry young in the military is so that the soldier can get extra money or not have to live in quarters but these are all wrong reasons. I really hope these are not the reasons you want to get married young but I thought I'd still tell you.
As far as being an army wife goes I cant help you there. I am a navy girl and i can tell you from experience that being in a military relationship is very difficult because of deployments that can cause you guys to separate--sometimes for a year! Please think about it.
2007-10-18 06:27:23 · answer #6 · answered by Lizzie P 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to the command your fiance is with. There should be a support group for those who's husbands are in the military and where the wives/husbands can meet and mingle and support each other.
I believe it is the USO.
Being a military wife is HARD. It takes TRUST, LOYALTY, and hard work. Your husband will be away for you for a long time, and he may come back different. Depending on his experiences he MAY change. YOU may change.
Have you been away from him for long lengths of time? If not, this will be HELL for you.
Good luck in whatever you both do. Whether it be marry now, or wait a few more years to get married.
2007-10-18 12:33:35 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I won't judge you, as you are being done on here. I will, however, tell you about my daughter's friend. She graduated high school last year with her fiance and they were married in June. He went on into the services and has now graduated and is living on base....alone. While he was gone his wife found out how much fun can be had when you are just being you and learning how to be a young adult. Some of her choices good, others not. Point is she is so weirded out now, bc her husband seems so different. The military is great for some people, but keep in mind that your spouse may mature allot while in boot camp alone, because it is allot of work and discipline involved. If I were you, I would wait until he got out and then see if you are still compatible.
2007-10-18 04:54:30 · answer #8 · answered by tryin4freedom 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think that it's too early for you to get married. I have no doubt you feel you love him enough to marry him, but I'm not sure you understand what you're getting into. You're scared about becoming his wife, so that should tell you something right there.
No one can tell you for sure what will happen, but we are a country at war.
It's very unfair of him to ask this much of you at 16. People change a lot going into their late teens and 20's. You're not even out of high school. Being in the military changes people and you may find that you aren't the same couple you are now. I would say try to postpone the wedding for a couple of years.
2007-10-18 04:49:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
if he loves you as much as he says he does, and you love him even more....for the best interest of your relationship you shouldnt get married just...maybe you should have a long engagement but dont get married yet...youll end up lonely as an army wife, hes gone be busy where ever hes stationed, so think about it !!! try watching MTV's show bout people under age that are gettingmarried, in the show there is an army wife and she isnt living the life she thought she was. Shes alone most of the day, cuz her guys training and doing his job.
2007-10-18 05:19:09 · answer #10 · answered by Future Ms. Doctor 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋