How do you determine if they are the one?

Question

How do you know without wasting all of your time on them.

He has let me meet everyone of his friends. Actually setup times and dates for me to meet them. Made sure I have met and hung out with his mom a few times. He even called his mom the other day and put my daughter on the phone with her b/c she was feeling gabby. He has all the qualities I want in a man. he was so sweet yesterday he wasn't feeling good he gave me and my daughter a kiss before he left and then kissed my hand. I'm gushing now!!

Answer 1

you dont... they show you they are the one.

they call you ALL the time. they talk about you when youre not around. they introduce you to everyone in their life, and more than once... they prove it to you. you should not have to think about it. they should show you they are the one.

Answer 2

Simple.

Think down the road a piece. Can you picture yourself buying his underwear when you're fifty? Can you imagine discussing baby poop with him? Does the idea of sitting quietly and watching tv with him sound pleasant?

If you can imagine him in the everyday living you will do for the rest of your life, you may have a keeper.

Answer 3

You have to waste time to audition future partners. They say you never know someone fully till you have lived with them for 3 years at least. Write down all the qualities you want in a partner and tick them off the list according to what you have observed of a potential partner. The first thing I go for - is the person alert? good company? pleasant looking? tall? at ease socially? treats everyone with respect and consideration regardless of whether they are sex objects? Does he have a good job or potential? Is he industrious? Is he going to join the family company? If so, you are probably marrying his family even more so. If you love them and they love you it might be OK. What's his attitude to drugs, alcohol, food and sports - the four main addictions? Does his mother rule his life? After a month or so of continually being in his company he will find it hard to keep up the good act and his dark side will start to appear. NO!!! His dark side has always been there on display, but you have been wearing rose coloured glasses and didn't see the signs. Is he always late? If he always takes an hour to shower and change and drive to your place, but is always 30 mins late, and never learns that he should start 30 mins earlier to be on time, this is a sign that Alzheimers has already started in his young body. If he blames everyone else for every bad thing that happens to him, he will sooner or later start blaming you for everything, including things that happened before he met you! If he lives on his own and never locks up or does housework, when he is living with you he will be the same, no matter how many promises he makes to change. Nobody ever changes. Well I suppose there are a few exceptions, very few. He will change for the next woman and then he will come over and tell you about it. When he lived with you he lived on the couch in front of the tv while you did everything but his next woman.....he will drop in on you and describe how in their place he vacuums, cooks, launders etc. and you will wonder IS SHE A MILLION TIMES BETTER LOOKING AND SEXIER THAN I AM?

There are no guarantees and you just have to be strong and keep your friends around you. You will need them during breakups. You have to keep a stash of money he doesn't know about, so you can pay a moving van, and deposit on another place and rent in advance. Breaking up a defacto relationship is costly if you have a lot of possessions to haul around with you. Each child you have deteriorates your appearance so make sure he loves you for your personality as well. You have to have something that other women don't have (charisma, big ****) otherwise he will think females are just all interchangeable. You have to have energy and tolerance and a good job you can always go back to in case he disappears and leaves you with 3 children. You never know if they are the one forever, you can just know they are the one for today and that the world is full of men and if this one lets you down, you are confident you can get another. You think to yourself OH I WILL NEVER GET ANOTHER ONE WHO TURNS ME ON AS MUCH, or I WILL NEVER GET ANOTHER ONE I WILL LOVE AS MUCH, but sooner or later along comes another one and you are starting over again with that one and you will forget about the one you were mourning over. If your friends don't like him TAKE NOTICE OF THEM. They are not blinded by love and passion. Does he tell you about his hopes and wishes and dreams and when you start to tell him yours, his eyes glaze over and he looks at his watch? And yawns? You have to get someone equally attractive as yourself otherwise he will be jealous and insecure all the time. Has he got any obsessive compulsions? If he has, does he just perform various rituals himself or does he expect you to do them as well? If you have always hung your keys on a hook in the hall but he has always put his in a drawer - does he expect you now to put yours in the drawer too? Does he expect you to have dinner on the table at 5.30pm when you don't even arrive home from work till 6pm? Does he take phone messages for you efficiently? Does he bring your mail in and put it in the spot you chose? Can he cook? Is he moody? Is he wanting to live with you because he wants to leave his parents but still wants to be looked after like a child? If his father is abusive to his mother, like father like son.

Answer 4

If you love them more than anything. If you trust them and would happily live with them for the rest of your life.

BUT they have to feel the same and you must believe this if its true.

I hope they are the one :) it feels so good!

Answer 5

have an open mind and a clear "pointofview". Of whatever you are trying to unravel.

Answer 6

Just know they are the one. It tells you and you always be with them lifelong

Answer 7

It may be different for everyone, but I just knew.

Answer 8

To know if "they" were the one, would take a lifetime!

Answer 9

you have to be one with you before you can be one with another

Answer 10

Ask ur heart