O Lord Please Don't Burn Us
O Lord, please don't burn us.
Don't grill or toast Your flock.
Don't put us on the barbecue
Or simmer us in stock.
Don't braise or bake or boil us
Or stir-fry us in a wok.
Oh, please don't lightly poach us
Or baste us with hot fat.
Don't fricassee or roast us
Or boil us in a vat,
And please don't stick Thy servants, Lord,
In a Rotissomat.
2007-10-18 03:19:56 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I LOVE it!
Along with the rest of that sketch:
Chaplain: Let us praise God. Oh Lord...
Congregation: Oh Lord...
Chaplain: Oooh you are so big...
Congregation: Oooh you are so big...
Chaplain: So absolutely huge.
Congregation: So ab - solutely huge.
Chaplain: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here I can tell you.
Congregation: Gosh, we're all really impressed down here I can tell you.
Chaplain: Forgive Us, O Lord, for this dreadful toadying.
Congregation: And barefaced flattery.
Chaplain: But you are so strong and, well, just so super.
Congregation: Fan - tastic.
*edit*
I wonder why people don't use google - this is NOT a church hymn, this is from a Monty Python sketch from "Meaning of Life" (I think). This is satire of the people who do certain things, it isn't meant to be disrespectful towards god(s) or theism in general.
Just laugh with Monty Python!
2007-10-18 03:24:30 · answer #1 · answered by Maria - Godmother II of the AM 4 · 4⤊ 4⤋
No they don't but I wish they did.
I like this Jesus joke -
THE CONTEST
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mails. They sent out e-mails with attachments. They downloaded.They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job.
But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated! How did he do it?"
God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves ".
2007-10-18 10:38:00 · answer #2 · answered by Sufi Musfaad 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
This is the one I sing.
Voice Of Truth lyrics
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again "boy, you'll never win!
"You'll never win"
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
2007-10-18 10:37:22 · answer #3 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. We have a more realistic understanding of our Lord who is rich in mercy. Only losers and the prideful need to fear the wrath of God.
2007-10-18 10:24:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Nope, dont know that one, we sing a lot of Ramschtein though, little Megadeath, and sometime we tap our foot to the romantic and heavens timbre of Iron Maiden, Maryln Manson or Korn.
2007-10-18 10:25:48 · answer #5 · answered by james h 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
it was implied that this hymn is a Church of England hymn.
as I am not a member of the Church of England, it is not sung in my church.
2007-10-18 10:29:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Only if you rub linseed oil in the school cormorant
2007-10-18 10:28:07 · answer #7 · answered by Bangbangbangbang 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Haven't heard that on yet but I do like Drop kick me Jesus through the goalposts of life.
2007-10-18 10:26:22 · answer #8 · answered by mortgagegirl101 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
No, where did that come from the church of Satan? It sure isn't talking about God.
2007-10-18 10:24:39 · answer #9 · answered by PROBLEM 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but I worship at the Church of Monty Python.
2007-10-18 10:22:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 3⤋