we moved like 3 days ago to this stupid place and my mom told me this summer they not my real mom and dad. couple weeks before my birthday its not fair. why did i have to be adopted they already gots 5 kids anyway did they jus do this to make fun of me. i hate this place man my dad well whoever he is said ill get used to it but i dont want to i just foun out my whole family jus died right now i have no real family jus a bunch of kids who probably made fun of me for 11 years they already knew didnt nobody tell me i feel betraid its not fair. i wanna get my own place how old you gotta be to move out im 13 right now but ill be 14 next summer please help i just gotta move man.please help me dont talk me out just help me get a place please please pleasee i hate this family.
2007-10-18 03:02:44 · 8 answers · asked by foresstree 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
the only reason they said they told me cus my dad or whoeva he is said its time to tell me we was suppost to go to amusement park and now i dont want do anything man this sucks man i cant stop crying why man why you get to have parents and i dont get to this is not fair at all this really sucks i didnt do nothin to nobody and my stupid brother whatever he is told me he go take me out like a stupid baga chips and a hot dog is going to do anything its not going to bring my real mom n dad back wtf! i am so tired of peple sayin how i feel but dont know how i feel yall dont know me at all i hat this school i hate this house i hate this family its not even my family i hate all this stuff in this house i hate i hate it!!!!
2007-10-18 03:26:36 · update #1
lady you dont know anything about me at all i was lied to for 11 years do you kno that? can i be mad im not mad at them by theyself im mad that im adopted i kno what you sain but i am mature cus you dont know i even played like i didnt care so i wont hurt they feelins you didnt even know that did you? you juge me but dont know. i can cry and be mad and scream if i want to and you cant do a dam thing to make me feel like you know what you talking about
2007-10-18 03:33:51 · update #2
I think most 13 year olds who have just moved to a new place feel this way about their family.
Its understandable that you've got a lot of questions about your adoption, but family is more than DNA. These are the people who have been with you every day for your entire life -- this *is* your family.
Give it time. . . you will feel differently.
2007-10-18 03:08:51 · answer #1 · answered by . 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that your adoption came as such a shock to you.
Perhaps you could talk with your school counselor for more help. If you are not sure whether you have one at the school, make an appointment to talk with your principal. There is help for you.
Hon, your mom and dad probably love you very much. It's not funny or a joke when a person is adopted. People adopt children because they have love to give. And if the mom and dad you have known all your life raised you with love and care, then you are their REAL child.
I think your parents could have told you that you were adopted a long time ago, but they didn't.
Sometimes biological parents don't have anything to give when they have a baby, and can't take care the child. I think that you are better off with your adoptive parents, especially since your real ones could not keep you for whatever reason.
The first article I found for you below has a section called IF YOU WERE ADOPTED... perhaps the entire article might be helpful?
The second source is actually for parents of adopted teenagers, and you may find helpful information there also.
I hope you will take a look at the articles. If you think some of this information applies to you, it might be a good idea to share it with your family.
I sure do hope you do well. YOU ARE A VERY SPECIAL, UNIQUE PERSON, WHO DESERVES GOOD THINGS!! hugs hugs
2007-10-18 03:17:15 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you live in the US…
You can't get your own place. One reason is because you can’t afford it. At 13, you can’t even get a 'real' job (not anything beyond delivering newspapers, babysitting, doing yardwork, etc which pays next to nothing). When you turn 14, you *may* be able to get a real job but you won’t earn anywhere near enough to support yourself, because child labor laws *greatly* restrict the number of hours that you’re allowed to work (it’s only a few hours a day). Another reason is because anyone under 18, cannot enter into a rental contract, have utilities turned on, etc, because they're a *kid*. So forget about getting your own place, because it’s not going to happen.
And you can’t move in with someone else either (because a minor doesn’t get to decide where they live), unless your parents give you permission. For example, they could give you permission to live with a family member, but even then there are all kinds of legal issues that must be dealt with (temporary custody, child support issues, etc). Generally speaking, most parents wouldn’t agree to it.
If your Mom and Dad adopted you, they ARE your real parents (although maybe not your biological parents) and apparently the only parents you’ve ever known. And you need to remember that.
At 18, you can move out. Until then, you need to deal with the issues at home in a *mature* manner. Declaring you “hate this place” when you’ve only lived there a matter of days, and therefore haven't 'given it a chance' is not mature.
EDITED TO ADD THIS AFTER YOU ADDED ADDITIONAL DETAILS:
And I can visualize you stomping your feet like a 2-year-old throwing a temper tantrum as you scream, “I hate, I hate, I hate”. Grow up.
Unless your mother specifically told you, “I gave birth to you” she did not lie to you. They merely didn’t inform you that you were adopted. I’m not saying that learning you’re adopted is not a HUGE deal, but your reaction to it is completely uncalled for. You say you’re ‘not mad at them, but mad that you’re adopted’, but what was the alternative? Your parents died. It’s not like they choose to leave you. And what would have happened to you had you not been adopted? You’d be a ward of the state. I can promise that you'd like that alternative even less.
2007-10-18 03:22:44 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey. they adopted you because they wanted you. They "chose" to bring you in to their life. Those are your real parents! I'm sooo sorry your biological ones have passed on. I know it's a big shock, but they thought they were waiting for the right time to tell you., which was now. Take some "you" time to absorb the info. Let yourself be angry and sad. But know that they love you. Your'e their child thru and thru. I have grown kids and have thought about adopting an older child. That child would be ours and he or she would have parents to love him or her forever. Adoption isn't an easy process ya know? Your parents had to go thru psychological testing, paperwork, alot. It's not as easy as getting a pup from the pound. They had to really put alot of time and effort into adopting you. They really wanted you and still do. You are sooo loved!
2007-10-18 03:15:30 · answer #4 · answered by zen 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
of course it's okay to be mad. they lied to you all your life and they surely cant expect you to just react in a "normal" way. atleast they told you when you turned 13, since they thought you deserved to know the truth...believe me, its better to know the truth that hurts than to be lied all your life.
you're 13, which according to me, is quite a young age to move out. perhaps you could just slowly try to work things out until you get a little older and you're able to afford a place of your own. as time passes by, hopefully, your relationship with your "parents" will also get better.
its pretty sad and depressing that your real, biological parents moved on..it really is..but you're kind of better off over here because atleast they have been looking after you lovingly all these years. what did your own parents do? left you to get adopted. hopefully because they thought you deserved better parents
did they seem supportive when they revealed to you that you were not their biological daughter? its understood that you would hate everything - it simply sucks to find out that you have been living a lie all these years..all your life..
it seems pretty damn humiliating too
all i can do is hope for you..hope that you feel better. cant blame you for feeling depressed or angry. its natural..
2007-10-18 06:49:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's no real way really... If you run away and they report it when the police find you you will either go to juvie or to the mental hospital... The best thing you can do in this situation and wait it out... My mom I have now she is not my real mom (I found out when i was 11)... Now i'm 17 almost 18 and things are fine... If you need someone to confide in email
2007-10-18 03:14:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Realize this your parents CHOOSE YOU they didn't get pregnant and then took what they got, they hand picked you. You are there because they wanted you, they love you I realize you are at a tough age but hang in there it will get better, you will make friends and like your DAD said you will get used to it. When I was young I realized that "Anyone can be a Mother/Father but it takes someone special to be a Mom/Dad" You are really a lucky girl and don't you forget it!!!
2007-10-18 03:30:03 · answer #7 · answered by Susan C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry is always best said in person and get family counseling you and your family have been through alot
2016-05-23 08:13:51 · answer #8 · answered by amada 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋