I feel like I am the odd one in the family?

Question

My mom,whenever she has a "new"friend seems to take that friend over family. My son turned 7 monday and she never called to tell him happy birthday,she hasn't called me in 3 days and won't either. When I call her I feel so strange,like we are strangers. I don't know what to say to her. She atarted going to church and everything is just that,she only speaks to my oldest daughter who is 10 because she wants to take her to church,I have nothing against church. I however hate this feeling of lonliness I am getting from her. She came here for thanksgiving and left right after eating,she left right from the table,people were still sitting. I am feeling used,and I have told her this,she of course denies it. Ever since she started with this church she is not the same towards me.

I believe in past lives and ghosts and she said the church says that people who deal in that belief are corrupted. She called me corrupted,and really tried denying she said that.

My mom is not someone you can talk to. She never listens,she will block out everything I say to her,any other ideas?

My mom only likes church because of the dinners they have and stuff like that and the fact that her new friend goes there. I am 31 and I have NEVER seen my mom step foot in a chruch..

Answer 1

Hi hon...

Sometimes we simply have to accept our relatives at face value. Your mother seems like one of those who is obsessed with church -- perhaps because she may feel she has nothing else? I can't speak for your mom, but from what you say, it sounds like she may feel church is all she has? Ugh!

I think that if you can accept your mother for who she is and her behaviors you will be better off. I'm sure there are others in your life who love you and who show you this love. Please depend upon them for support and care.

Let your mom do what she will, and try not to let it effect you emotionally. You can't change her, and worrying about this isn't going to help you. Acceptance is sometimes best.

take care of YOU. sending hugs

Answer 2

Your mom is who she is. She does what feels right for her. You need to accept that. You won't change her. The only person you can change is yourself.

My in-laws never paid one moment of attention to my children, even though they are the only grandchildren they have. I spent years being angry about it. The only way to find peace is to accept people the way they are and deal with it. If it means you don't spend a lot of time with your mom, so be it. Focus on yourself and your kids and stop trying to make your mother into something she's not.

Answer 3

HI sorry your Mam not there when you need her but can you treat her the way she is treating you and your Family dint go to her don't ring her don't ask for anything.
get on with your life and your children's let her come to you let her run after you as sounds like all you do is try please her and get the recognition that YOU should get of her without having to try beg it out of her.

Try to keep away ring if only needed contact only when contact needed and when the holidays come around see if she contacts you to see if coming to you don't run after her Will hurt as sounds like you love your Mother but try be harder and try let her be the Mother for a change

good luck

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Could it be that you are expecting too much of your Mother ? She obviously is trying to have a life of her own outside of the close family circle. Be thankful, that she is being independent and don't condemn her.

Answer 6

i think you ought to talk to your mom..
a real good talk..
cry your heart out..
my mom would always listen to me whenever i feel bad about something...