A Guy I work with only has eight weeks or so to live?

Question

He's a Truck Driver and calls into where I work about twice a week.
He's got Liver Cancer and its spread right through his body so they have stopped the treatment.

He is a strong vibrant Man with a Ribald and wicked sense of humour abd though I've watched him looking greyer and sicker over the course of his illness he is still quite a man and if anything his wit has become sharper.

There is no darkness or depression about him.
I asked him why he was still worked and he said "Well what the fu@k else am I gonna do?"
I must admit I am impressed with the way he's going about things!
He is completely without faith, a total Atheist. He expects to die and is doing so without fear or expectations.

I guess my question is to both Atheists and People of Faith. Do you think you would face your Mortality with good humour and without fear?

Answer 1

Hello.. :)

I am doing just that.. :)

I have Hepatitis C..which will either lead to liver cancer or psoriasis of the liver..

When I was diagnosed in 1998, I was told by my doctor..it won't kill you..but since that time..they have found out it will..

My latest liver biopsy showed I had medium to sever liver damage..but I do not dwell upon it..I just take one day at a time.. :)

I have no fear..I keep myself too busy by helping others.. :)

If it is alright with you and your friend..I would like to keep you all in my heart and prayers..


In Jesus Most Precious Name..
With ~Love~ your "Friend" In Christ.. :)

Answer 2

Yes.

About 20 years ago I had some symptoms I was convinced were caused by cancer.
I recall thinking very clearly that I had no regrets and I was completely at peace with meeting the darkness of nothingness - I had no FEAR.
I have no wife or kids - that would make impending separation a little harder I think.

[edit]
It was so long ago I almost forgot being in Vietnam nearly 40 years ago (in many ways it’s as if it all happened to someone I knew) and facing death every moment of every day - I got used to facing death cos that boy died a thousand times.
I still feel at peace with the thought of it.

[another edit]
It seems many commentors are convinced there is a 'god' and that the truck driver will change his tune when the time comes closer.
Some people are born afraid - it's why they make such 'successful' fundies.

[the last edit]
Don't forget to thank him for strengthening your life.
We all like the chemicals of our egos stroked.
.

Answer 3

Although I surely believe that there is a Heaven, and life after this world, and don't fear that, I think deep inside I give some thought to the actual dying itself. If I knew I was dying I would want to be surrounded by those that I love and who have loved me in return. Although I live alone and am comfortable with that, most of us want to be with people we love when we die. My children's father died of Lou Gehrig's disease. It is sad for those who must watch someone they love die in such a way. I hate to think that my death would cause others pain. But that can be part of life, and its cycle as well.
.
Relationships with my children and those close to me have always been an important part of my life. I would want to be with those individuals. Perhaps the truck driver who is dying has not developed those sort of relationships, and so work has become his life. If he stayed home he might not be able to cope as well. We never really know what is going on inside a person. As with the driver, knowing death is near, he might actually be seeing things differently and more sharply.. To me it is unfortunate when I hear that someone has no faith for an afterlife, but it is an individual choice we all have to make for ourselves.
Years back I worked as a Hospice volunteer. I've heard a few people say they wished they had been better parents, spouses, sons, daughters. Been a little nicer. Most at the end thought of relationships and not what they had acquired materially.

Answer 4

Well first off, if I was an older man that has lived enough to watch my children grow than I would not be afraid to face it, because I know where i am going. If at this present stage I knew I was about to die I wouldn't say I would be afraid but sad. Because the fact that I'm only 23 and haven't seen a whole lot of life. The main thing is to see my daughter and soon to be son grow up and see how I did as a father. Of course it would be nice to see there grandchildren if any. But ultimately I am not afraid of facing death because it has to happen and I don't mind going to my Father.

Answer 5

I can't really say until it happens. I think I would eventually accept my impending death and be okay with it, but I don't know if my sense of humor would remain. My faith would help me a lot and I cannot imagine not having it with me during such a time. I hope your colleague is able to remain happy and peaceful, without pain, right up to the end.

Answer 6

Honestly?

I don't think it is something anybody can imagine unless they were in the situation.

I know basically three types of people who die: the ones that are quite "okay" with it, the ones that are very scared and try to find a way out of it, and the ones that give up.

I once watched the friend of my brother die at 14. He had cancer as well and at one point simply couldn't go on. He wouldn't smile anymore, he wouldn't fight, he'd basically be lethargic.

I don't know what I'd be like; I like to think I'd be like your friend, but maybe it depends on what you have accomplished in your life ... the more you have, the happier you might be about leaving this place.

Right at this moment I am not at all afraid of dying. That, however, changes everytime I enter a plane: yet even then I don't fear dying itself, I fear that I won't be able to do what is very important to me: have children and my own family.

At last a Monty Python quote:

Life's a piece of sh**,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

I don't agree with the "sh**" part, but other than that it sums it up nicely, does it not?

Answer 7

I hope so. I'd like to go out with enough dignity that my kids aren't frightened by my demise, and for them to be able to look upon my passing as one conducted with grace. But I don't think anyone can answer this question accurately while alive.

Inside, I would probably be screaming, but I truly don't think I would allow that to show. I have my reasons for believing this.

When my oldest son was16, he was rushed to emergency surgery after having ruptured his spleen while playing basketball. He also wrecked his car shortly afterward, nearly putting it over a bridge. In both instances, I was the calm one in the family.

Outwardly, that is. I have to be. I'm a single parent, I can't afford to collapse. My kids need to see mom as a pillar of strength, and they do. They've made the comment more than once. Adults, however, see me as having ice water flowing through my veins. How wrong they are.

In another instance, after very nearly losing my 12 week-old baby to an undiagnosed asthma attack, I was instructed to take him to Pittsburgh Children's Hospital for testing. It was suspected that he had cystic fibrosis. That's a terrible disease, one that causes excess phlegm to build in a child's airways, leading to lung transplants and death.

I had no choice but to face this bravely, I had two other children at home to care for. But what I will never forget is a friend (now former) lamenting to me about how upset she was that her kids came home from school with lice, and that she would have to pick nits and clean her home. I couldn't resist saying that I would have given anything for my kids to bring lice home. This was the same day that my son was given a possible death sentence, and her comments were too much to bear.

I do think I have it in me to go quietly into the night. I've always tried to set an example for my family, and as that would be my final act, I hope I can do so with honor.

Answer 8

Listen, the man is afraid of dying, but he does not let on. He's strong, but not as much as he, or you for that matter think. I'm sure he's trying to make the best of things considering.

Tell him to, while he's alone soon, to ask God to remember him after his death, and ask God to forgive him all his trespasses and that he would pray for a life in the "new system" after Armageddon, God's war is over.

Only God can be the true judge and he knows if this man's heart is good or or not. This man, your friend, cannot hurt anything by speaking to God alone and in private, right?

I hate to learn of anyone's death especially when they are suffering. Let your friend know that after Armageddon, we, those that "make it" into the new system in a new earth, won't ever get sick, grow old, and the last sin removed from mankind will be death. Let him know that everyone in the new system will cap at about the age of 25 to 30 years old and grow no older.

I'm sure he will take this to heart. Give him a hug for me and let him know people do care, but he needs to speak to God in private to clear his conscience with Him.

Take care...

Answer 9

I would guess he is more afraid than he is letting on... but he has probably had to accept that there really is no other option at this point...

I don't think I would be the same though... if I knew I was going to die, I would want to do many of the things that I held back from due to the consequences that would no longer matter... I'm more of the "rage against the dying of the light" type...

In regards to the "burn in hell types", if God is so cruel as to condemn you to eternal damnation because you didn't believe in something that had not one shred of proof... I would rather do so, than spend eternity with such a monster...

Answer 10

Firstly.... get him a Tin Foil Hat.
The day when you start leaving humour OUT of your questions is the day the world ends....

Secondly....... I'm a Nihilist for crap's sake. My mortality is so entirely expected and inevitable that all my contemplations on the subject tend to be redundant. I'll face my death however I happen to be at the time when I die, and won't give it a second thought.