My girlfriend just moved from south africa to come and live with me here in the uk. I came to the UK 2 years ago and we've been together now for 2 and half years. So the whole time we were apart and only saw each other every 4-6 months and even then it was for like 2 weeks at a time. She has been here for 3 months now and we're both frustrated with one another, Im distant all the time, we havent slept together in a month and Im considering breaking up with her. im only 24 and have been with only 2 girls her being one of them. Im scared that if I end things now that I will regret it and end up losing something that couldve been really good. So I guess im asking your advice and if you have perosnal experiances that are similiar then I would like to hear them.
2007-10-17 23:51:40 · 11 answers · asked by Spieman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need a trial separation, I think you two love each other but only in small doses and therefore you will probably never work as a couple in the long run.
2007-10-18 05:26:46 · answer #1 · answered by Very happily married. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know what you should do, you're just seeking reassurance.
If you've been together 2 and a half years, but have spent 2 years apart you haven't got a very strong base to build a relationship on. So it will be hard to suddenly live together.
Plus if after 2 years spent mostly apart, you haven't slept together in a month, there's something not right and she's not your soul mate.
Good luck.
2007-10-18 07:30:35 · answer #2 · answered by millie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before you end things talk to her tell her you are frustrated and can see she is , ask her what she thinks is going wrong and tell her what you think. She has come a long way for you to just end things suddenly. I think if you love this girl you should try and talk through your problems and sort it out. However if you are distant because you are no longer in love then you need to be honest with her and say so. You have to decided if you think the relationship is worth saving or not then take action from there.
2007-10-18 06:57:17 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ MISS YELLOW DIAMOND★☺♀ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the advice worth taking here centres around your talking it over with your girlfriend. This is solid advice. Clearly neither of you are happy so you need to chat about your mutual problems and weigh the situation in the balance after that. Maybe she's thinking the same as you - end it! How would you know if you don't talk it out?
2007-10-18 07:08:37 · answer #4 · answered by Gaspode the wonder dog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of my good friends and I have been friends for almost 10 years. We met and he lived on the east coast and I lived on the west coast. We thought we could make it happen. We saw each other when we could and it was great, because we missed the physical part of the relationship. But when we tried to live together it was hard.
There is a difference between hanging out with someone and actually living with someone. When you date someone you get to know all the quirks about that person, but when you actually live with someone you get to know it all and there is no escape when things are going bad. Because you would be able to leave them at their house and go home and be able to think about what happened.
No one can make the desision for you, you have to take chances in life. If you want to work it out, then try and work it out. Talk to her and ask her what she is feeling. Maybe you can come to a middle.
Hope it all works out.
2007-10-18 07:00:46 · answer #5 · answered by Sonia V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex broke up wtih me after we were engaged... we had spent a lot of time together like you say you did. He too only had dated one other girl besides me. He ended up cheating and daying he had to explore the field b/c he wanted to make sure he wasnt missing anything. If you are arguing that badly now, and you are questioning it, I would say yes, dump her. If it was meant to be, you two will end up again later, but it sounds like you need to explore the field too honestly and that both of you need to get yourselves back in order. Good luck!
2007-10-18 06:57:05 · answer #6 · answered by jms62394 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened to communication? Why can't you talk about the problem, and try some couples counseling first? It is so sad to see someone move away from home to be with another person and be left stranded.
2007-10-18 06:57:42 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so your girlfriend has moved all the way from africa and now you want to dump her ... hmmm your such a nice guy NOT.. I mean she must have really loved you but BOOO HOO your fed up now because she is stopping you from playing around was it easier to do when she was living in africa?d***head
2007-10-18 07:33:34 · answer #8 · answered by jackie n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First,she moved all the way from south africa to stay with you.She left her family,that should mean that she loves you.Have you Tried talking? what makes you distant from her? Do you still love her?
2007-10-18 07:00:39 · answer #9 · answered by damyna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't matter if you've been with only 2 girls.Is she the "one"?I can see that she is not.Talk to her and explain how you feel, be very careful with your words.Don't tell her that you want more experience, tell her that your feelings have changed, that maybe you're not right for each other, that you want her to be happy etc..Better now than be sorry later
2007-10-18 06:59:58 · answer #10 · answered by tinker77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋