frnds i really need help and advice....i had been in a very good long distance relationship for the past 5 and a half yrs....i had been engaged for the past 2 yrs and me and him were gonna get married comin jan....but suddenly my family had to change it frm jan to mar. and he was ok at first but then he decided not to marry me and finish it up with our relationship......then we met twice and he told me at that time that his family had gotten our horoscope matched and it doesn't match and that's y he dint wanna marry me...but now he dont care abt ne1 and wanna marry me. after he told me that i came back to TN and we talked and everything but today he said he aint sure now and he is confused so i dont know wat to think guys please i really need help i cant live w/out him i really love him and he loves me but y did he say he is confused?
2007-10-17 19:40:13 · 15 answers · asked by thanksforanswering 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like your man is a little controlled by his family. Don't push him or you will always wonder how he really feels. THAT is painful. And it will be a source of constant insecurity leading to lots of arguments.
If you push for it now every argument he will run to his parents and tell them how right they were. He will always put his family first, so make sure you're ok with that.
Let him contact you. It may be a loooong time, (six months to a year) but if the two of you had a good thing he will NEVER forget. I promise, and I don't promise easily.
2007-10-17 19:48:24 · answer #1 · answered by Jellicle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the sad truth that he's not sure he wants to be with you. Hurtful as it may be, you need to move on your own and what's meant to be will be! Maybe now is not the time! Marriage is not something you want to push, be pushed into or push somebody else into. It's hard enough when both people are madly in love and just know they are meant for one another. Going into it with someone who doesn't even know if it's what they want will bring you nothing but pain and heartache and bitterness down the road. Better to know before the wedding and not after. Marriage isn't some kind of concrete to hold the two of you together. You'll just end up divorced and you'll wish for simpler times. Trust me, you don't want to be cheated on, or cheated out of true lasting love or a wonderful marriage! Walk away lovingly and let things happen. You make them happen and you have only yourself to blame for the disaster you may find yourself living in with hell all around you! Be wise...patient...let go for now!
2007-10-17 19:51:41 · answer #2 · answered by enjoyrselves 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I second Michael.
So you are happy? Even though he is on and off like this? I don't know that to tell you. You should sit him down and tell him what's up. truthfully. If your marriage is going to start off wondering if you should or shouldn't get married then you might as well not get married. It has to be something you both want. Not something half *** that just happened because you've been with him for 5 and a half years. Think this out, it's a big decision and it's a big deal. You know you want to marry him? He is not so sure? Ask him you don't want to be in an unhappy marriage. Whatever makes you happy is most important even if you might have to leave him(it might be better). Though I don't know what your relationship is like or what you are going through. he might have cold feet. So good luck to you. i hope everything works out. But talk to him sit him down and ask what's on his mind!
2007-10-17 19:49:38 · answer #3 · answered by Bliss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't push him or you will end up divorced with children. You have no idea what he has been doing during this long distance relationship. He may not have been faithful, or he may just have liked the situation because you were not there all of the time. He may be thinking that he is not ready for that permanent togetherness. Who knows. Just back off and tell him that he has one month to think it through, or you are going to move on. That way he does not keep you in limbo for too long. There is no use wasting another 5 years. You can't get them back, you know!!!
By the way, what does his parents have to do with whether or not he is in love with you? That makes no sense at all. He should be man enough to decide that for himself!!!
2007-10-17 19:49:06 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling u r in a pretty much the same situation i was in. my advice to u is leave him. look love will blind u of yr all future aspects.he is so confused with his decision-- looks like a cat on the wall. dear if he is like this now, think off yr unpredictable future with him. he looks highly unstable. pl dear don't relay on him. Just think, if it's yr marriage 2morrow n he says, he ain't sure if he wants to live with u.???? dear leave him, leave him,leave him, leave him.its my advice/suggestion or whatever to u. u Will be living a life of uncertainty. look at his state of mind . he is not the right man 4 u deary.he ain't able to make the one main decision in his life---to have u r not then, what abt minor petty things. write his words on water/air ok.theses guys always have something up their sleeves. probably a green pasture... and he doesn't Even have the courage to tell u that ' that what me feels."
if u push him into marring u, in future if a problem may rise up he will very easily say "look what u have bought me into, u r the one who came behind me & now i got a rotten life -- really do u want such remarks???
years don't count in a relationship, its the understanding of each other's feelings, the faith n the courage to be together through thick or thin,
be happy with the one who wants only u not the one u want
make a good ,peaceful ,happy & faithful life 4yrself
good luck sweetie....
2007-10-17 20:21:08 · answer #5 · answered by pink.wing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many of you are getting married, the whole family.
You two are letting your family interfere with YOUR lives.
Stupid horoscopes, letting the parents change you wedding date, etc, that is just nuts.
You need to spend some real quality time with him and figure out just where you stand, then if it is that you are still very much in love and want to share the rest of your lives together, then elope right there and then.
Tell the folks after the honeymoon!
2007-10-17 19:45:50 · answer #6 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you can live without him. Just because you don't get married right now does not mean that you will stop breathing and die. It does not sound like he is ready to get married. But it also does not sound like he really wants to break up. Would you be satisfied with your relationship if you weren't going to get married in March? Also, don't understand what the horoscope stuff means. Anyhow, It is hard but life always works itself out.
2007-10-17 19:47:18 · answer #7 · answered by wamom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Horoscopes?..what kind of Jackass is this guy? If he loved you, you'd be married by now. I'd hate for you to start from scratch with a new feller, but it doesn't look like there's much choice here.
2007-10-17 19:45:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Nothing is their its very simple, you do not worry about this. Every person had this problem. Mostly girls are having this confusion. but in ur life he's having this. its all in your hand. you have to change his mind.someone is changing is my mind. you have to give clear advice to him. whenever you talking this matter dont talk seriously talk with him very gently or casually. take more care of him. it will change his mind. ok
take care
congrats for your marriage
2007-10-17 19:47:52 · answer #9 · answered by mathi a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN as fast as you can AWAY from this nut! His family did your horoscope and it didn't match......come on!!!! He is only gonna break your heart! If you hang around and wait for it.....it IS A COMMING!
2007-10-17 19:45:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋