Which stage of grief am I on?

Question

I need to know which stage of grief am I on?
My friend died in a car accident 3 weeks ago and I found out on friday 4 days after her funeral. We haven't talked in 4 years because we forgot to exchange contact info at graduation.
On fri I was in denial. I was giggling over the fact that she was dead. From Sat to Mon I was depressed. I couldn't stop crying. Now I feel like I haven't cried enough but I don't want to cry anymore. I've also said and done somethings I don't usually do like spend a ton of money. I also feel like I'm the last person to know that she's dead. Several customers at the store I work were wondering why I wasn't in my usual happy, perky mood. I told them my friend died. They all read about her death when it hapened in the paper. It made big local news. i found her husband's Myspace page and sent him an e-mail expressing my condolences but he hasn't responded.
Which stage am I on? I know I haven't reached acceptance yet.

yesterday I found her Myspace and it caused me to cry some more. I got a little caught up on the 4 years that I've missed.
I also e-mailed her husband to ask where she is buried so I can at least visit her grave.

Answer 1

You're in 'guilt' now - you say you should be crying more.
Next comes anger. Finally, acceptance. There is no set time for each stage. Let them happen at their own rate.

I am sorry for your loss. The husband is dealing with his own grief now, so don't expect a response right away. Everybody deals with grief and its steps in their own way.

Answer 2

giggling over the fact that she was dead.? Can't say I ever laughed over the death of a friend. Are you talking about Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle, the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance? Hmm, IMHO, there are as many ways to deal with the death of a friend as there are people out there dealing with the deaths of friends. I also thought these stages were passed through in terms of years and not days. The earlier reference to self-analysis rings true.

We haven't talked in 4 years because we forgot to exchange contact info at graduation? You found her and her husband when you wanted.

I also feel like I'm the last person to know that she's dead. Well, it had been a while and that's what happens when you lose touch.

Something just doesn't make sense here. For you to be this upset over someone you didn't talk to or see for 4 years seems like an over-reaction. I can only deduce that this is the first death of a friend or her death has reminded you of the death of someone that was much closer to you.

Answer 3

you have a long way to go. as for losing contact, it happens, so stop stressing over it, her hubby is still dealing with his own pain, he probably isnt checking his myspace just yet. give it time, it isnt easy, but its all you can do. take care and good luck, i will be praying for you.

Answer 4

Aren't you being rather introspective .
From what you write ; I'm not sure that your at any stage of grief . I don't think you feel any and are trying to convince yourself that you do .