please please help me...i'm 19 and my parents just ruined my relationship with my bf?

Question

i have/had an amazing boyfriend. my parents are such irrational biased people though, that we arent even together anymore bc of them. i am 19, he just turned 20, we had plans to go bowling in his hometown tonight, that is max 30 mins away, bc all of his stuff is at his alley and bc he used to work there he can get everything for free. anyways i got home from work and ask my parents and they say no and chew my *** out for not respecting myself enough to realize that its "risking my life to chase some boy. " then they repeatedly called him names and told me im not allowed to see him anymore until he comes and talks to my dad, bc hes "risking my life by making me drive out to see him when hes just trying to save money.."..or thats what they think. i told him i dont know if he would want to be with me anymore and deal with this ****, and he asked me what i wanted and i told him to say **** my parents and be with you. hes the best guy ive ever met and doesnt deserve my psycho parents. HELP

Answer 1

You're 19...why are you asking your parents if you can go on a date? You should think about moving out and making your own decisions.

Answer 2

Well, if i was the boyfriend, I would take the time to sit down and talk with your dad. I would keep it respectful and honor his opinion. I wouldn't kiss his ____, but I would listen to what he had to say. Your parents are just being a little over-protective. It is better to have over-protective parents than to have parents that don't care at all. Give them the benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, you are at an age where you are fully capable of making your own decisions. There is a balance point in there. Your boyfriend has to help you find and maintain it.

Answer 3

Any parents that worry about your safety probably aren't that bad,,, not what you wanted to hear huh,
I believe at the age of 19 you should be able to drive yourself just about anywhere, now I sound like I'm on your side,, hmm..
I feel for you, at your age the feelings that come with relationships are very very strong, that has a way of overshadowing everything else, and can lead you to make rash decision's. If this guy you are wanting to see has really big issues about getting to see you, and by that I mean he wants to break it off with you just because you couldn't get there that night,, well that says a lot about him, and what lies in your future with him, I mean this time hes mad because of your parents decisions not to let you go, next time it will be him being mad at you because YOU didn't want to do something he wanted.. A decent guy is going to try and respect "YOU and your PARENTS", hes going to have some patients, because a decent guy is going to see "YOUR WORTH THE WAIT" (as I'm sure you are). Please don't be to mad at your parents for doing there job of caring to much for you,, very soon you will be on your own, and the only way you will know if anyone cares about you or what your doing,,, is if you call them up and ask them,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.
hope this helped
R.M.

Answer 4

I think you should have him come over and talk to your parents and before he does you need to remind your parents that youre 19 they can not tell you who you should be with and let him know that your parents are going to be harsh on him. My parents didn't like my boyfriend we started dating when i was 17 him 20 and they told me he was using me he just wants my money or residency paper works etc. He meet them my mom loved him but my dad still nothing. It got so bad they forced me to moved to an other state to break us up but we stayed together no matter what and he gave in. Now i'm leaving i moved back to be closer to him and i let my parents know that it is my life and they see how mature responsible and how he makes me a better rson. We've been together for 3 years and we are engaged. Parents are psycho when their daughter falls in love and they don't know the guy just do as i said and tell him to hang in there with you it's gonna be lots of fighting between te 4 of you but they'll let go eventually. Good luck

Answer 5

Once you reach 18 you do have options. You are a legal adult and can move out of your parents' home (and I don't mean go and move in with your boyfriend either). Your parents are trying to look after you, but you're not a child anymore. However, instead of disrespecting them and cursing them, you need to learn to talk to them as an adult and not throw a childish temper tantrum. You should have thanked them for their concern and recognized that they are your parents. Then you should have reminded them that they have raised you to be a responsible adult and that you do not make decisions of which they should be ashamed or that would cause them undo worry. Then you start finding a way to move out of their house and from under their rules.

Answer 6

Whatever happens, do yourself a favor.... don't get preggers to try to trap the guy.... not fair to him, not fair to a child and it will not bring you closer together, and your future if you have one with him, will disintegrate.. Every child deserves to be planned for and cared for. They may never like him. but at iage.
19, you have a future to protect..yours.... do so.

Here's the four little things my mama hammered into my head beginning at age 13.
1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry. Choose with your head as well as your heart.
2. Have no children until your bond is strong, and have no more than you yourself can support. You may just have to
3. At any and all costs finish your education to qualify for those high paying jobs. It is likely that you will work sometime during your marriage, probably for decades…. Get paid for it. And remember, your kids and your education are forever…. Husbands, lovers and promises are not!!
4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about even if you are sure you will never need it. You absolutely will, and the more the better.
What you like at 19 sweets might not be what you like at 28. And if he's the greatest, he'll wait. In any case, don't think that having a baby will solve your parent problems... not happenin'
If you try that, this is what usually happens:

You will go from being the huss, the sexy fox, the lusty bed partner to pregger lady, and housekeeper. And for him, he will go from being the dude, the sex machine the man, the screwing king to father and provider. And no one tells us that this would happen to our cozy little relationships, dothey? Your little relationship turned 180 degrees!!!!!! All we get told, and all we think is , "OHHHH we're gonna have a baaayyyyyybeeeee, ain't that sooo romantic???". and it isn't. You won't anylonger be what you were, and he won't any longer be what he r, and the prospects of being a father with lower testasterone (he doesn't know that ) is just the shocker. And so your bf will run, or you will (some guys even go have affairs, and get some second lady preggers...)... and the troubles really start after the kid is born, and now this screaming third thing is in your relationship... you no longer get to think of each other, you have to get up, feed this kid, and he has to put up with your soon to happen changing moods... great, huh? And then, of course you are both young, with no education, trying to make ends meet... oh, good. love over.

Kids are not bonding, hon, they are divisive. And kids need to be planned for...lots of couples don't plan... not REALLY plan!!! We ought to teach this stuff in hs, we don't. And as a public school teacher, my apologies, really unfair to send kids out of hs who cannot keep a check book, think babies are fun, and we as well, don't even teach people how to settle differences without resentment and rage....Your posting has lots of resentment and rage toward your parents. They may indeed be psycho, but...... Bottom line here, is don't run away, and then for sure, don't have children until, as my mama said, you can support them yourself. At 19, for sure you cannot.

Answer 7

You are 19 years of age and should be leading your own life. Your parents really have no say over what you do with your life or who you date or hang out with. That being said, maybe your parents are being overly protective and don't want to see their daughter getting hurt. Sometimes its hard for parents to let go. I assume you have tried to talk with your parents about your boyfriend. You also make a comment that you want your boyfriend to talk with your parents. Have your mom and dad not met this guy yet? Maybe if he met and talked with them, they would see the attributes that you see in him and they would be more at ease with him taking their "little girl" out. Or, as you say, they just might be psycho and no boy is ever going to be good enough for their daughter. If the problem continues, you may have to move out of their home and lead your own life. Go out with your boyfriend and bear the wrath of our parents. Just tell them that you are going to lead your own life and that they can't tell you what to do. They may tell you "our house our rules" and kick you out, so be prepared for that.

Answer 8

Well hun your over 18 so your of age to make your own descions and you need to and if your parents cannot deal with it then that is there problem not yours your an adult now and it is your life . maybe think about moving out and starting your own life also that would help alot then you wouldn't feel like you were under thumb as much .

Answer 9

you have to earn your parents respect and trust. they will continue to treat you like a child if you continue to act like one.

they might be over-reacting but if this guy is so great, he will try to get in good with your parents. they are just worried about you since they barely know them. can you really blame them? have you given them reasons in the past to not trust you by lying or anything of that sort?

true, they might be over protective and acting irrationally but i'm sure there are plenty of reasons why they're being like this.

act a little more mature, respect their rules and they will most likely give you more room to budge.

i'm your age and if my parents acted like this towards my boyfriend i would be upset...but i wouldn't go so far as saying that they "ruined my relationship". that is a bit childish, don't you think?

Answer 10

i don`t know what to say. but, all i can say, maybe you right but may you wrong. sometime parent`s only want to give you the best for your future.but sometimes they overact. people can do silly thing when they nervous, scare and etc. i once a youth just like you. and i too involve in the situation just like you. and now i understand, why parents sometime can drive us crazy. try to talk to your parent when your parents mood are good. try to reasonable. and do try to take your boyfriend to meet your parents too. cause when a man love you, he must dare him self to meet the girl`s parents. he must dare him self to tell your parent that he love your and want to have further relation with you. thats all i can say to you. i hope that i can help you solve your problem.
May god bless you and help you go trough this problem.
bye