Ok well I have had this diary for 3 years now. I haven't written in it much and there is only one thing I regret ever righting in there. Well two years ago my mom died in a car crash. I was angry, confused, hurt, and stupid so I wrote this: "Ug I hate Derek (my brother)! HE IS THE WHOLE REASON WHY MOM DIED! If only he didn't need to be picked up from his stupid running class mom would still be alive! I HATE HIM!! I will never forgive him!" He unfortunately read that. We have been best friends since a month after my mom died because we moved from place to place, country to country, always having problems with paying for things, so we relied on each other being the older siblings (I am now 16 he is now 18). Now he is locked in his room, and won't talk to me. I don't care that he read my diary so much it is just I feel so stupid! How could I do that! He won't open his door? How can I talk to him. I can't get my Dad he is at church with my other 2 sisters. What should I do??
2007-10-17 16:41:03 · 6 answers · asked by Maria 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! This helped a lot! We finally sat down and talked about what happened. Thank you everyone. I ended up talking through the door and he finally opened up. I could tell that he was crying, I am guessing that is why he wouldn't open the door. Thank you.
2007-10-17 17:08:18 · update #1
He was wrong for reading your diary, but you were wrong for saying those things. Tell him exactly what you were feeling at that time and that you were just hurt and missing your mom and that you are sorry, however, he had no right to your diary.
2007-10-17 16:46:10 · answer #1 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd st down right now and write a note to him telling him why and when you wrote it and then telling him how you feel about him now, how he's helped you over the years and especially how you don't blame him in anyway for the accident that took your Mum.Tell him all the things you wouldn't say face to face, like how you love him and how much he means to you. Then at the end say I've fixed you a sandwich or something and tell him t's waiting in the kitchen. THis gives him an excuse to come out of his room without feeling silly.
You guys will sort this out. He's just feeling hurt and upset and also reading your diary from around the time the accident happened will bring back emories for him too....and probably a part of him will feel guilty(unjustly) he just needs reassurance.
Good luck
2007-10-17 16:54:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey Maria sweetheart. It is understandable that you went through A LOT of mixed emotions when your mom died. Mine died 5 years ago and I felt every emotion possible. Derek will be fine. He is only 16 and he is hurting too. He feels and probably has felt guilty for the last 2 years about it. You need to talk to him through the door and tell him you are very sorry. You hurt very much too and you were going through the normal emotions of anger at the time. Tell him in no way do you blame him at all for her death and you are very very sorry he had to read your private thoughts at the time. You are not stupid!!!!!! It is NORMAL to be angry and Derek is reacting normally. Tell him you feel stupid because you have realized that no matter where your mother would have been that day God wanted her with Him and nothing could have stopped that. It was her time Maria. You or your brother had NOTHING to do with her death. Tell him you need him very much right now and you love him very much. And if he needs time you will give it to him. He will come around Maria, I promise. He is still young and hurting. So are you. God bless you both.
2007-10-17 16:53:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i could st down appropriate now and write a observe to him telling him why and once you wrote it and then telling him the style you sense approximately him now, how he's helped you by way of the years and pretty the style you do no longer blame him by any skill for the twist of destiny that took your Mum.tell him each and every of the flaws you does no longer say head to head, like the style you like him and how plenty he skill to you. Then on the top say i've got fixed you a sandwich or something and tell him t's waiting in the kitchen. this delivers him an excuse to come back out of his room without feeling stupid. You men will style this out. he's only feeling harm and disenchanted and likewise examining your diary from around the time the twist of destiny exceeded off will carry back emories for him too....and particular a component of him will sense accountable(unjustly) he only desires reassurance. solid success
2016-10-13 00:51:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you wrote that is grief and anger. forgive yourself.
Second of all, know that your brother probably blames himself for this, and sees it as reaffirming or him contributing to her death.
It is important to tell him the truth - you were searching for anything to blame back then, because that would mean that someone had control over a situation that left you all helpless and hurting.
Tell him that your sorry and that he is one of the things that allowed you to heal and feel alive after her death (my condolences).
Tell him that the last 3 years have made you both stronger together and ask him to see you for the person you are, instead of the grief raked soul that you were then.
Remind him that your mom wouldn't want you guys to be divided and experiencing this pain again.
You are in my prayers....
2007-10-17 17:00:26 · answer #5 · answered by feliciathefierce 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that ur sorry and it wasnt his fault u didnt mean it that u were just upset and wasnt thinkin clearly and tell him how much he means 2 u
God bless and i hope everything ok
2007-10-17 17:03:49 · answer #6 · answered by raven m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋