My mother and I enjoy a close relationship and I respect her opinions immensely. I am her only daughter and I am about to become a mother myself. She plans on spending a lot of time with me after I give birth next week. I am worried that she will "take over" and if I disagree with her over something, she will get confrontational. And for all of her wisdom in the world, I feel like I need her to listen to my opinions because I may want to do things differently. I am nervous about this, and I do need her help.... I don't know what to do about it.
2007-10-17 16:39:08 · 7 answers · asked by sandstone901 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your mother is blessed to have such a loving and strong daughter.
Tell your mom the ways that you are happy that she raised you. Also, tell her that she raised you to be a strong individual, and that you are happy you can have an open, honest relationship with her.
Then tell her that you are thankful and looking forward to her help after-wards. Also, state that as she wanted to do things differently than her mother before her, that you want to raise your baby slightly differently as well.
Stress that this is not disrespect, but mutual parenting decisions with your husband and yourself, and that you hope to follow in her footsteps and have the sort of relationship that you have with her, with your child/children as they grow.
Congratulations in your journey as a mother!
2007-10-17 17:11:37 · answer #1 · answered by feliciathefierce 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look it seems like your mother and you have a great bond and I very much doubt if you talk her openly and honestly about how you would like to do some things differently, she wont be upset. As the saying goes 'mothers know best' so she will assume because she has done it all, she is right but even though she maybe, you might not agree and that is fine. Tell her you appreciate her help and keep asking her questions to keep her involved but also tell her their maybe things you would like to differently and you hope that she does not get upset and think you are shutting her out but you are only really excited cos you have the chance to be a great mother just like she was. I dont think you have anything to worry about really, dont bring unnecessary stress for no reason. Congratulations on your new baby!
2007-10-17 23:45:11 · answer #2 · answered by Me, myself and I 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are stressing needlessly.
You will need training after the baby arrives.
You will need someone to take over the household after you come home from the hospital... especially if there was a c-section.
Have a notebook at your side to take notes, because she will be remembering little gems and spitting them out the whole time.
If she gets under foot, tell her to sit down and relax, or go home and enjoy sleeping in her own bed. Tell her you are worried about her blood pressure and all that.
2007-10-17 23:49:15 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think that your mother will "take over". She will be there to lend a hand, maybe one too many, but you will want it. You can tell her that she raised you right and taught you very well, that you need to learn by doing, but appreciate everything she does to HELP you. If you tell her something that you think she doesn't want to hear, reinforce the positive she does at the end.
2007-10-17 23:46:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you and your mom have a close relationship, I think you can be direct and frank to her that insofar as your baby is concerned, you want things to be done your way. Don't forget to mention to her that you really appreciate her being there for you all the time. I am sure she will understand and won't in anyway be offended by that request.
2007-10-18 00:10:52 · answer #5 · answered by Belen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want your mom to help you, then let her. You do not have to heed her advice just listen and apply it if you want. She's not raising your child you are. Say thank you, but you want to try things on your own and find out what works for you. Let her visit but not stay over if she's local. This way you can have time and space for you and the baby to bond.
2007-10-17 23:46:03 · answer #6 · answered by mergirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her up front before the baby arrives that this is your child and you want to do things your way. if you have a problem or need advice then you will ask her. when shes over and starts taking control,look at her and tell her its not the way you want it done and she needs to respect your decission. stand your ground to her. tell her you dont mind her being involved but she cant take control.
2007-10-18 07:37:32 · answer #7 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋