I want to move out of CA because it's too expensive, etc. I want to move to Arkansas and she knows people that will give me a job... but she refuses to do anything or help me out. She is always like this. What can I do? Maybe I can ask my aunt for help? I don't want to stay with her. I want to be on my own, but I do not know anyone and I think that's the best way to get a job from word of mouth!
2007-10-17 16:03:23 · 11 answers · asked by creep show 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I know that parents don't want their kids to leave, but... come on...
2007-10-17 16:06:09 · update #1
She did the same thing for my brother until he just up and left when he was 21! She won't let me do anything. I get $500 a month and extra money from my job. I have money and everything but I want a better paying job even though I will be able to afford rent. I do not know where to look. I thought that family was supposed to help you out. She's not even helping me for school! I already take care of myself anyway.
2007-10-17 16:13:06 · update #2
LOL. CA isn't even my home town. And I my mother is bipolar and not on medication. Imagine living with her. Most of the time she ignores me and pretends that I don't exist. I haven't seen my family for 5 yrs. I have no family. I'm my own family and I realized that after I realized that I'm the only one that can help myself. But it would be nice to have help every now and then... I just want a job! She should be happy that I want a better job!
2007-10-17 16:15:27 · update #3
You people act like no one has ever helped you out. I am not depending on her to find me a job. I want her to HELP me. There's a difference.
2007-10-17 16:18:31 · update #4
OF COURSE I'M GOING TO SCHOOL, DON'T BE STUPID.
2007-10-17 16:18:57 · update #5
She may be concerned about you being so far from her. If you are 18 or older you can go anywhere you want. Why not ask your aunt for help? Maybe she could provide you with a "launching pad" of sorts... live with her for a few months while you find a job and scratch funds together to get an apartment. Maybe your aunt could refer you to other relatives as well.
Why the heck Arkansas?
Half of everyone there is on welfare, and the other half is on welfare when it isn't tourist season. It is populated by hicks! You have to have your money when you move there because you won't make any there! It is a place that people "retire" to. The property values are disproportionate to the wages.
2007-10-17 16:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!
You want to move from beautiful sunny California to Arkansas?
Okay, Cali is a little expensive! I do not understand why you expect your mother to help you move out of state... Forget that!
You need to learn to get along on your own and if you cannot do that while you are living in the same state as your mother, what makes you think you can do it in a different state????
Why don't you contact people in Arkansas and apply for jobs. I am not sure of you rage or if you live at home or out on your own already. Either way, you need to work towards what you want in life and not expect everything to be handed to you... .
I know I would not help my daughter move out of state... I did not help her when she moved to Southern Cali... It is her decision and since she is an adult, she had to figure it out on her own to get there.
2007-10-17 23:13:17 · answer #2 · answered by LyndasCa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you said it, "I want to be on my own"
Your mom is probably angry about you wanting to move away from her. Most moms would be, & so will you when your kids want to move outside of your area code.
I know it isn't right of her to try to manipulate you like that so look at this as a test. When you move to Arkansas & manage to get work without her help (and you will) you will prove to yourself that you don't need your mom as much as you think you do. OK, so you will always need your mom for support and all, but your moms behaviour isn't very supportive right now.
Once you have more confidence in yourself, you will also have more confidence in dealing with issues with your mom.
Her little girl is growing up too fast for her. So if she can delay that just a little bit longer she will try.
Also, I wonder if your Aunt knows the peoples names that you want to contact in Arkansas who know your mother.
Can't you ask her for the information without any strings attached? (like staying with her).
I think if you contacted these people on your own, without your mom clearing a path to their door for you, it would leave them with a greater impression of you.
Good Luck in your new life.
Your mom will come around eventually, don't worry.
2007-10-17 23:22:38 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not up to your mum to get you a job and even if she did, you'll never respect it as much as one you would of found yourself. You want to become independant?????, well here's your first step. You have to find your own jobs, this way if it doesn't work out, it can't fall back onto your mum and make her the big bady or the worst in the world.
2007-10-17 23:32:09 · answer #4 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not going to be as pleasant as you think. I have moved away 5-6 times in my life, I've always wound up either in trouble, broke, or alone. I've always managed to make my way back everytime to my home town, luckily, and barely. There is no place like home, and family. I know know.
2007-10-17 23:13:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not up to your mom or anyone to find you a job. You said you don't want to stay with aunt, why not? You can work and save money and get a place of your own. You need to no people and let them help you. I love Arkansaw allso.
2007-10-17 23:14:18 · answer #6 · answered by patches 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She loves you and will miss you. It's as easy as that. It sucks for you. But when you're a mom someday, you'll understand. Doesn't make it right though. But hopefully it will help you see her side. But you still need to do what is right for you. It's your life. Just be gentle with her feelings.
2007-10-17 23:07:19 · answer #7 · answered by trapeze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't your mother's job to bail you out or help you after you become an adult. She can sit there and do nothing for all she cares. Do the work yourself.
2007-10-17 23:06:30 · answer #8 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join the Army, that'll show mom she can't control U!
-Peace, Cool Breeze
2007-10-18 00:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by Sam G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she wants you to live your life without her help so you will not always being dependent on other people.
2007-10-17 23:07:08 · answer #10 · answered by ihatelilac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋