How can I help my boyfriend?(drugs)?

Question

My boyfriend deals with stress by doing drugs. He obviously uses the high as an escape.

I care about my boyfriend very much. I just wish he would care for himself.

I don't want to leave him when he obiviously needs support.
Mostly everyone in his life has left him behind when he needs help. I don't want to do that to him, but I also deal with my own issues (including depression...) this is very hard.

Most people just say "make him choose between you or drugs". Its not that easy. I want to be there for him & hopefully help him understand WHY he doesn't need them.

Sure, not everyone is stress-free 100% of the time... I don't feel drugs will change that.. if anything, they leave matters worse once the high fades away..

Answer 1

Well I can understand your situation because I went through the same thing with my BF(the only difference is that he didnt do drugs just when he was stressed, he was addicted and he did them all the time) For the first few years of our relationship I put up with alot of drug use from him, he put our relationship through alot then finally I said enough is enough. I tol dhim he needs to quit or I am gone. I didnt want to make him choose but I had no other choice. So we moved away and started over. He quit doing drugs. He has relapsed a few times but I have stood by his side and helped him. no one is prefect. you just need to show him unconditional love and tell him you will love himwith or without the drugs but your relationship wont last if hes messed up all the time. Sounds like he needs to deal with his stress issues. Just try and talk to him. We figured out that we need to talk ALOT to make things right, communication is very important when your dealing with this kinda thing. Just tell him how you feel, I mean like really deep down how you feel. if you dont like talking face to face try writing a letter to him. sometimes tho you cant make someone do something they dont wanna do. so just talk to him and I hope everything works out with you.

Answer 2

Try helping him find other ways of dealing with the stress - or reducing it BEFORE it gets bad enough that he has to turn to drugs...

Find out WHAT causes him the most stress - and if it's in your power, either prevent it from happening - or reduce the effect it has on him.

Even something small like a simple backrub - combined with you BEING THERE for him - CAN do wonders. Though whatever the ACTION you do is probably something simple - the fact that it is being done by someone who LOVES HIM is what makes the DIFFERENCE!!!

However, I'm not saying that you have to become his SERVANT - relationships work BOTH ways, and whatever help HE can give YOU when you are depressed will only DEEPEN things between you ;););)

Answer 3

Dear WTFCindy

I would tell you the same thing IF I hadn't had a similar problem with family members.

you do have to support them BUT do not ENABLE them and by that I mean don't give him money, the drugs, the chance to take them - this can be an endless task that may cause a riff in your relationship - he may say you don't love him because of what you are doing so this is always best done in a family setting - get as many of his friends and family involved that are sober (whether they have had a drug problem or not in the past is up to you to include them - but if they have sobered themselves it may be a good way to show your BF that he can to) - I would watch Intervention ( I cant remember what cable channel its on) but if you have access i would see how they deal with different situations to get ideas on how to approach with love not hurt. No matter what its going to be a long road and remember that he can ONLY change if HE wants to - he has to hit rock bottom (in Most Cases) before he will come back to the top.

Answer 4

Your boyfriend has to make the decision about using drugs or not. You can't do this for him. If he doesn't change, are you willing to be with someone and live the type of life style that this would mean? You would be the responsible one and he would expect you to take care of things. I think you might tire of this and feel very used. He really needs to make a choice here. If you go along with this, he will see that he can have his drugs and have you.

Answer 5

Tell him to stop that if he cares about you.