When my husband does something hurtful, insensitive or mean to me, why does he get mad at ME for it? It's like he wants ME to feel bad for making him feel bad?! When a hug or a come here baby would make everything okay. Or just a kind word or gesture? Have you noticed this behavior or have any suggestions?
2007-10-17 15:08:45 · 6 answers · asked by casey308 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
From a guy's point of reference ...... women are not very good at communicating their needs to the men in their lives. Often it is done with little looks, a tone of voice, a sideways comment or even a silent moment.
Guys typically don't get the message ...... we don't want to communicate that way. Some of us can't communicate that way. We like to have things said clearly and simply. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
When was the last time you actually told your man that you needed that hug you mentioned above? When did you last mention what those little words or gestures really mean to you? Never assume that he knows what you need ..... especially if you have not told him directly.
This communication thing is a matter of both of you speaking the same language .... and, from what it sounds like .... you're not right now.
Kev
2007-10-17 15:19:02 · answer #1 · answered by Kev 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Becuase he can't take responsibility for his actions thats why. In this situation don't play Mr. Nice guy, and don't let him get in his two cents worth beucase he was the one being insensitive. He's not trying to control you, but in the situation where your yelling at him, and he's just listening, he dosn't have any way of defending himself because he was in the wrong in the first place. "Come here baby" or hugs don't make everything better. You need to set some general guidelines that you both stick to like, respecting eachother, being aware of eachothers morals and goals...etc. If he can't listen to you and respect your feeling, then ditch him, you deserve better. If he is plyable though, and agrees to some set morals, then stick it out with him, 50% you and 50 % him.
2007-10-17 22:22:05 · answer #2 · answered by pK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, im not married and nor do i have a bf, but the only suggestion is... guys are stupid like this sometimes... just dont feel bad for him blaming u and tell him to look in the mirror when he says those hurtful things to you.
2007-10-17 22:15:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Sophie... if he isn't able to say he is sorry or even give you that hug in forgiveness....then he needs to man up.
2007-10-17 22:15:42 · answer #4 · answered by jim 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's one of the marks of a controlling person...
2007-10-17 22:12:33 · answer #5 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get out!! get out now before its too late!! This is what we like to call........WARNING SIGN!!!!!! RED FLAG!!!!!!!!......... my ex did the same thing to me then put me in the hospital for a week.........GET OUT!!!!!!
2007-10-17 22:16:01 · answer #6 · answered by shaunsgurl4eva 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋