I told a lady "friend" of mine that I don't like it when she says she'll call and never ends up calling. I could understand if it happened sometimes, but lately, she's been doing it all the time. I told her how I feel about it and she still keeps doing it. However, when I do call, she actually talks for a little while. Sometimes, not long at all. We have a long distance "friendship and I feel like I'm the only one holding up my end. I feel like she does'nt care enough to keep in touch with me. What would you folks do in this situation? She could show a little more consideration for me than that. Don't ya think?
2007-10-17 13:56:28 · 41 answers · asked by Go Broncos! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ask her out.
What are you waiting for?
An invitation card?
2007-10-24 15:28:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Short answer: yes.
You deserve better.
At the very least, she is inconsiderate and immature, unaware of her effect on other people by being so rude. At worst, she is inconsiderate and immature (lol), possibly aware of her effect and doesn't care, or doesn't really WANT the "friendship" in the first place and is taking the passive/aggressive way of ending it (hoping you'll get the hint).
She doesn't sound like a very good "friend," and you may want to ask yourself why you even consider her one. However, if you are feeling particularly generous--or you know more of her than we obviously do--you can give her a chance to explain her actions and confront her on this. Just politely say, "Hey, I feel that I'm the only one vested in this friendship. I'd really like to hear from you in x amount of time when I contact you." If she answers, you two can "talk" about it. If she doesn't, well, she's still answered you, and you can walk away knowing you tried.
Good luck!
2007-10-17 14:03:48 · answer #2 · answered by Gauffsa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she doesn't follow the adage: "To have a friend you have to be a friend". Friendships evolve and change...this one could be evolving to be "more distant" than you realize.
As you know, friendships can not be manipulated or forced. Personally, I would broaden my base of friends and tend to let that one ride further out.
The boundaries of relationships have to be re-defined all the time. Since you already tried to tell her how you felt about it I think you don't have to feel guilty if this relationship slowly fades away. Even stars in the sky eventually burnout.
Friendships are based on a variety of things...common interests, just by shared past history, etc.. Step back from this a little ...see what really happens...absence can make the heart grow fonder OR it can be defining in itself.
Good Luck! That's my BEST ANSWER!
2007-10-17 14:10:43 · answer #3 · answered by Steve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love your friends ... just don't *love* your friends ... if you aren't getting what you want out of the friendship / relationship, stop stressing over it and just move on. People are never going to be as considerate as you think they should be. And I promise that you are going to have friendships / relationships where you are giving more than you're getting.
Finally, and most importantly, it's difficult to uphold expectations of someone else when you have a long distance "friendship." Time and distance always separates people. Maybe it's time you made some new "friends" where you live and stop focusing on her.
Good luck.
2007-10-17 15:48:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not good in any relationship for one person to be putting in all of the work. Allow her her space. Tell, her that when she needs to talk you will be there to listen. Until then, go about your life and wait for that call. She probably knows that you are waiting and wanting her to call. A mistake would be to practice "eye for an eye". You call her when you feel like it. Allow her the same respect. She probably feels as if she needs to tell you she will call just to satisfy you. Don't ask her when she is going to call. Try ending the conversation with "I guess I'll talk to you when I talk to you." You shouldn't try to force things in one direction or the other. You do your thing. Let her do her's.
2007-10-17 14:03:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can tell you that if a woman is busy, she may not call. But if you know she isn't busy, then she's maybe not quite on the same level as you. It's good that you told her how you feel, because I know if I was in your position I would feel the same way. If I were you, I would wait for her to call you, if she never calls you then you call her and ask her why. Honestly, if she were your friend, and she cared, she would call you back.
2007-10-17 14:01:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all it should be "I hate when people do this" because men do it as well. In fact they do it more than women. Also, I'm not trying to break your spirits, but maybe she's not interested or she really just doesn't like to talk on the phone ( I know, because I hate it) Anyways, if you're desperate to get her to like you and call, just ignore her, and quit calling all together for a month or 2. If she calls in that time period for you, then she wants you. If she doesn't then forget about her.
2007-10-17 14:03:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just end the friendship because if she cares about you, she would call you. I mean she doesnt seem like a best friend or anything so I don't think this lady friend matters at all.
2007-10-17 14:02:54 · answer #8 · answered by Beautiful Glory 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do that to but It's not because I don't care , it's that I say "I'll call you later" when I still want to talk but I have to go home or something. She probably isn't serious about calling you later most of the time. I know when I tell my friends, I end up getting caught in something else and forgeting to call them.
If you really want her to call you than be firm with her so she knows your serious.
2007-10-17 14:02:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you care enough about the friendship to keep it going, keep calling. Some people just suck at friendship maintenance. I'm one of them. I have a whole bunch of friends and they call me all the time, but I never think to call them. I'm just not wired that way.
If its bugging you and you can't get past it, then let it drop and find a friend that better meets your needs.
2007-10-17 14:00:42 · answer #10 · answered by Beth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay first you can not wait around for someone to call that will drive you crazy, get out have a life that doesn't include her. If she really wants to be apart of your life she will come to you. If you get together with her without having a life you will not be able to get out without causing a problem. You must have a life for her to join, not create one for her to be a part of. Women like an independant man with small dependancies, not the other way around. Good Luck ! !
2007-10-17 14:09:48 · answer #11 · answered by BrAnDon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋