found out later that night abused my son he had bruises all over his body the doctors determinied that they actually were pinch marks and he told me they were made earlier in the day police social workers etc... were involved but unfortunalty she wasnt charged becuz there wasnt enough evidence against her becuz we later found out her sons fiancee was also taking care of my son so they couldnt determine if it was her or my friends mother i cut off contact with the entire family my question is now my son is extremely clingy he will scream yell shout if i leave him alone in a room for longer than 10 seconds he wont take naps anymore during the day and when he does it for maybe 10 minutes he wakes up 4-5 times a night its just getting pretty bad he just seems to cry all the time now before any of this happened he didnt sleep thru the night but he would wake up maybe 1 or 2 times now its 4-5 im not getting any sleep i dont know what to do should i ask him doctor? he has an appt on the 29th
2007-10-17 12:20:34 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
and also id like to let people know i didnt leave my son with random with random people!!!!! i have known this woman for 10 years i grew up around her never have i seen her act violent thats why i think it was her sons fiance which i didnt know was going to be there she showed up after i left. and for those who ask why i left him? WHAT am i suppose to do never leave him with a babysitter it not like it was a stranger thats the sad part!!
2007-10-17 12:33:54 · update #1
and i went to a theme park!! this is the 1st time i was away from him and had time for myself
2007-10-17 12:49:40 · update #2
WHERE IS THE FATHER AND HIS FAMILY????????
THEY COULDNT HAVE WATCHED HIM??????????
2007-10-17 20:48:27 · answer #1 · answered by Larry The Don ® 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely talk to your doctor about it. It's traumatic for a child to have to suffer that sort of abuse (or any abuse for that matter). It also sounds like a family counselor wouldn't hurt in this situation either. You all are dealing with a lot and it's better if everyone was involved in the healing process so that you are all on the same page. I wouldn't wait until the 29th either, I would call and see if you can get in earlier, if not maybe see if you can consult your doctor over the phone. Some separation anxiety is perfectly normal at this age, but if this didn't start until after the abuse, then I would definitely seek professional help to get through this. Good luck!
2007-10-17 12:27:03 · answer #2 · answered by rose_2620 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure of this due to his extremely young age but play therapy is often helpful with children. Your son is obviously anxiety ridden about being left by you and being abused by others. To him, when you are gone he is abused so he is hanging on to you for dear life. I would look into play therapy, just in case he is not too young for it. I am sure there are some therapeutic interventions, just have to find an age appropriate one. His doctor is a good place to start but if the doctor is not supportive, do not just give up on the idea of getting your son some help. Your son is very stressed right now.
"Well why in the world would you ever leave your child with random people and their sons fiancees and whatnot. I mean what were u thinking?"
She left him with her friends mother. What is she to do? Never go anywhere or use a sitter? Ignore that post. Just learn from this, continue to love your son and get the best help you can for him.
2007-10-17 12:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by alomew_rocks 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that this happened to your son and you. Oh my God! I can't even tell you what I want to do to the person who hurt him. It is going to be very hard for your son and for you to ever seperate again. You both have seperation anxiety from this trauma. He also can have other anxieties from this. Be very patient with him, he needs you to show him that he will be safe and never hurt again. If there is anyone you can trust like his father, family close friends you need them to visit alot and slowly have him alone with them, while he is in the livingroom watching tv with them you can leave the room a few minutes, go back t him, then leave again a little longer and so on. Visit them in their homes and just go into another room for a minute without him, then longer and longer. Do this very slowly, and bring him out with you alot to playgroups, library story time, maybe have him in a day-care center for an hour a day, get a good center with professionals, check references and their credentials. For now since this just happened and he is only 10 months old you can do this very slowly. Call your doctor now and explain to him what has happened and tell them you need to see him much sooner like today. If you have to tell the doctor your son had a fever all night and you need to bring him in, anything to help.You need your sleep to cope. Also take him to the parks, playgrounds, indoor playgrounds most of the day keep him busy, don't let him nap to long and maybe he will sleep better at night and you will to.
2007-10-17 12:44:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
By all means talk to the doctor, but also talk to him/her about what to expect from this age group. Separation is a big deal at this age. Your son doesn't sound any different than any other 10-12 month old. Make sure that you are feeding him enough, he's growing pretty fast now and he should be crawling/walking that burns off more energy. Sounds like he's hungry. Have your doctor suggest a parenting book so that you have some clues as to what to expect.
2007-10-17 12:42:01 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And some people think babies can't remember!
Do talk to your son's doctor about the incident - hopefully he or she can offer you help.
As for now, you need to help your child regain trust and that means helping to form routines all over again. Create a new nap time ritual - on that will help him to relax, basically letting him know that you are not going to simply lie him down and walk out. Spend a little time with him so that he knows he does not have to be anxious. What you do is not nearly as important as finding something that works.
Do you have a pack and play that you could let him nap in out near where you are going to be? Again, it might make him be more relaxed.
Also you may want to introduce "new" people to him so that he can learn to trust others again as well and know that not all "strangers" are out to hurt him.
Serious luck to you mom.
2007-10-17 12:30:49 · answer #6 · answered by BettyBoop 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is horrible. im so sorry, dont pressure him to sleep unless a doc thinks it is wise. i think he is afraid of what can happen to him if he is asleep. maybe he was napping and they starting abusing him as to why he wont do it. im sure u are already doing it but talk to him let him know u are there for him and no one will hurt him. which u cant guarantee but im sure u will do ur very best.he will be clingy let him for now and slowly introduce him to people u really trust to get him to learn to trust them and so on.keep an eye out for any new bruises, markings and things like that. and i hope all is well, plus my question to u is what did ur friend say about the whole thing?
one more thing many people here like bashing people and that is wrong she clearly states she knew this lady, im sure she didnt leave her son with a random person to go do dope. give her a break. we arent here to be assholes to each other but answer questions and share past experiences. if u forget that then u need to go elsewhere.
2007-10-17 12:36:41 · answer #7 · answered by vera2good 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry for your troubles...I think this is something that will take time...because he's not at the talking/cognitive stage i'm not sure psychotherapy will work...he needs to regain his confidence and security and i think that unfortuantely this will take time. I would gradullay introduce him to "strangers" by that I mean close family members whom your son has an established relationship with so that he can begin to get used to non-mommy interactions. I'm sure it will take some work for you to leave your son again with non-family members. Once you become comfortable, he may follow your example. Thankfully, he won't remember his experience at this age so please take some solace in that he shouldn't have a lasting memory.
I wish you and your son the very best.
2007-10-17 13:04:20 · answer #8 · answered by PhillyFilly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By all means talk to his doctor about this. He should know anyway in case there is any more serious problem.
But be prepared for this to take a lot of patience and time for your son to get back to normal. He will settle down as long as you can make him feel secure and loved again. And kids are really resilient so long term he should be fine.
2007-10-17 12:32:35 · answer #9 · answered by Critter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By all means do ask your child's doctor about it, but I'd recommend that you give your baby lots of skin-to-skin contact with you, lots of eye contact, even baby massage to help him get back to his old self. You'll find that if you give him some extra attention during the day, he'll be less needy at night. A warm, relaxing bath with lavender scented water, and a massage with baby lotion are the best medicine. Your baby has been traumatized, but he can recover with lots of TLC from the most important person in his life. :o)
2007-10-17 12:40:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to let him know verbally that what happened to him before, from those bad people are never going to happen again, You mommy will make sure of this.
And keep telling him this over and over, every time he feels uncomfortable; when you leave the room and he is woke let him know where you are going so he wont be afraid. This well help him understand that your not going to leave him.
Let him know its ok to sleep and your not going to let no one hurt him, while he is sleeping.
Let him know with lost of kisses and hugs that you love him so so so much and you one let that happen again, tell him that you are sorry but you didn't know until it was to late and mommy knows now and it will never happen again.
They must have been pinching him while he was sleeping and while your child was doing other activates at their house.(those are some horrible people)
2007-10-17 12:41:55 · answer #11 · answered by kim w 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋