Should I leave my gf because shes trying to control me?

Question

ok,10 months ago my girl found out i looked at porn. She says its just as bad as cheating with another woman. I have always been faithful to her other than the porn. Anyway,she agreed to make up with me if she was alowed to look at my bank statements,and check my computers history (i'm not alowed to deleat it). She told me in time she would get over it. 10 months have gone by and I feel like a slave to her. She has allways been the jealous and controling type even before she knew I looked at porn. Some of the things she expects of me are crazy! For example::: she wants me to get rid of my internet totally now,she dosent want me playing madden online cause she thinks i'm gonna meet a girl on there,she dosent want me working in a warehouse because she thinks theres to many women,when we are in public if I accidently stare in the direction of another woman I get yelled at,she dosent want me working out,now shes telling me its the internet or her.I ran out of letters so can you im me?

Answer 1

Yes.

She is very bad news. These are the classic signs of an abusive personality.

Run while you can.

Answer 2

Three thoughts and suggestions here:

1) Many women get insecure when their partners look at porn. Women and men can have very different views on sex and graphic material. Try and be up-front on this matter, and discuss it. Be prepared to answer the frank questions like: "If you want more sex, why aren't you coming to me?" Also be prepared to confront your own laziness and selfishness in this matter, and to answer hard questions like: "Do you respect the people in these images, or are they just meat to you?"

2) A controlling relationship can be very toxic, but people in *every* relationship struggle for power and control.

While leaving the relationship is definitely an option, there is also value for you both to face this. In particular, I think it's important that you stand up to her - to explain that trust and respect are critical to any relationship. She needs to understand that trust and respect are either given freely or they're not - one can't dangle them and snatch them away.

But *you* need to understand that trust and respect can be damaged, and that you did damage them by not being candid with her in the first place. That doesn't justify what she's doing, but it does justify part of how she *feels*.

3) Her controlling behaviour probably arises from her insecurity - and if so, there will be causes from before your relationship - probably dating back to her relationship with her parents. Inside she may feel that she is worthless. Can you help her face this and move through it?

Good luck!

Answer 3

One question- is her overreacting control worth it to keep the relationship - if no - dump her
I don't like my husband looking at porn - its a girl thing I guess- some women don't mind - but most do
however - I don't tell him he can't I just get over it - you are who you are and you like what you like and if what you are doing isn't effecting your relationship financially or emotionally in the way that you would rather play madden or look at porn then she shouldn't be freaking out
Ultimately its up to you - its worth it or it isn't

Answer 4

Wow that is a true shame you had to put up with that besides the porn thing.I believe you better off without her no offense but you are considering she has done more to you than you have done to her .A true relationship is determined on how well you can forgive obviously she cant and is punishing you against your own free will.So yeah your better off dumping her get a new girl friend (if you can).

Answer 5

Honestly i dont feel that watching porn is cheating. But there are alot of women that do so i could understand her being upset. But she kinda needs to get over it. I would talk to her about all this. It seems like she has some really bad jelousy issues.

Answer 6

If you've been with her and accepted this kind of treatment, i don't know if anyone can do anything for you. Although, she probably pampers you though, and does your laundry, cooks everyday, cleans the house, and probably gives you plenty of (you know what). I don't really know why you would need the porn, when you got someone who can satisfy your needs. The internet thing is stupid, but it's your decision.

Answer 7

Where there is not trust there is no relationship. Joy and friendship is turning into anger and resentments. You need to put everything down for a few minutes and address your girlfriends needs and in return I'm sure you two can come up with some type of agreement. She is crying out for attention.

Answer 8

all of the examples and explanations you are giving are unnecessary. people always feel that they have to justify a breakup. you don't. if you don't want to be with a controlling woman, then breakup. that's all the reason you need. ask yourself, "is this the type of woman i want? is this the type of life i want?" if the answer is "no", that's all the reason you need to move on.

if you hate women who wear colored-tube socks, and your gf wears them then break up. you don't need a reason that is valid to others. you know what you are willing to tolerate and live with. if she doesn't fit that, then move on and find someone you are more compatible with. it will save you both a lot of time and heartache.

Answer 9

My advise to you is.. Do not plan on marrying this women because she will monitor everything you do and all people you hang out with! You need to tell her that you already have mother!! Be strong guy :)

Answer 10

this is one outta control situation. Painfully, you gotta figure out some boundaries or break off with the gf