I have been with my girlfriend for5 1/2 years (we met online) We live 70 miles apart. It has just gotten to the point that I dread going to visit on the weekends. My blood pressure jumps when the phone rings because I know it's her.
My issues are that she is SOOOOO negative about everything.It drags me down. In my opinion she is TERRIBLE with her kids (they are given EVERYTHING that they want,and are never scolded for doing wrong) She wants me to help with the kids,then sides with them????
On the other hand,she has an issue with my kids because they are achievers. My daughter is in college double majoring in secondary education and mathematics,and my son is a stand out high school football player and is being scouted by several MAJOR universities. Should I feel bad that my children are chasing thier dreams and hers are not???
She has dreams that i do things such as cheat (i'm totally faithful),and she'll be mad at me for days? Over a dream. Am I wrong for wanting out
2007-10-17 11:19:36 · 6 answers · asked by renume 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't mean to go on and on and on. But I'm against a wall here. I honestly can't take it any more. I'm a very good hearted person,but I feel I'm being walked on. If it weren't for my own children,.........I would get in my truck and never look back,and this is not me. I feel as though I am not the person I have always been. I'm so frustrated with the whole thing. Would you stay or go????
2007-10-17 11:30:03 · update #1
I'm not looking for anyone else. T^hats not the issue. I think I just need to be alone and hang out with my kids a little more (they hate her but will not tell me as they don't want to hurt my feelings,....they tell my parents) I think I need some time to get right with myself (that means being alone) Thank for all the support. Rob in PA.
2007-10-17 11:34:18 · update #2
You have every right to feel like you've had enough. I think you are right by saying that she's terrible with her kids. I wouldn't spoil a child like that. You shouldn't feel bad that you're kids are doing good and her's aren't. That's her fault or theirs. If they're not chasing their dreams, then that means that they don't want to. If she thinks you're cheating all the time, then she's not a very good girlfriend. If you can't trust your partner, then your relationship will not work out at all. You're not wrong whatsoever. Just tell her nicely that you can't see her anymore because you're just not happy and you've had enough. Don't raise your voice even if she does. Just tell her you don't want to argue with her. You just always have to do it nicely because girls like to be let down easily. I guess that's all I have. Hope I helped!
2007-10-17 11:28:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong for wanting out. She sounds a bit mentally unstable if she's paranoid about you cheating when you don't give her a reason to. Also, since you 2 have obviously different ways of raising children, this would be a HUGE issue that you'd constantly be fighting over were you to marry and/or join households. It sounds like the 2 of you have different VALUES, and relationships where values are not in sync do not work.
I don't know how you went 5 yrs with this, but you need to be honest and upfront with her and tell her why you have to end the relationship.
Here's how to know if a relationship is good for you or not: A "good" relationship makes you feel GOOD most of the time. A "bad" relationship makes you feel BAD most of the time." So simple, huh? I read that once and never forgot it. Any relationship where you dread her calling or seeing her is making you feel BAD most of the time, so end it.
2007-10-17 18:26:58 · answer #2 · answered by Wintergirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm, if all this is true I have only one question for you.
Why would you want to stay???
This is how I see your relationship based on what you have written. She is not someone you want to marry or you would have proposed already (you have known her 5 1/2 years), she is ruining your health based on your blood pressure.
You have worked hard to instill a good work ethic in your children and she has an issue with that?!? That is why your children are chasing their dreams and achieveing...no one ever made CEO or Colliegate level Sports without a heck of a lot of work and your parenting taught them to work hard so that they can achieve. Incredible... and to top it all off...SHE THINKS YOU ARE CHEATING ON HER ANYWAY.
I don't think you are wrong to want out...I am just incredulous that you put up with it for 5 years. Go find a good lady who deserves you and has the same values and beliefs you do.
2007-10-17 18:34:24 · answer #3 · answered by Jen M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you're not wrong she needs to get priorities straight and realize that she is the parent and keep her kids in line. and as far as your kids doing what they have to do in life thats all part of being a good parent. and she needs to get the dream issue under control because it's just a damn dream. that doesn't mean that it will come true.
2007-10-17 18:32:52 · answer #4 · answered by princesssade87 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.
Sure sounds like you guys need a long break. And if it turns out to be permanent, well ..... at least you won't have to start taking blood pressure medication any time soon.
2007-10-17 18:26:03 · answer #5 · answered by tracy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like my ex-wife, but with kids. The blood pressure thing isn't going to go away until you call it quits and find someone else.
2007-10-17 18:31:26 · answer #6 · answered by Dan H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋