Should I be bothered that the guy I'm seeing is seeing 3 other women?

Question

Okay, so this guy (hot cardiologist) I'm seeing says that he is looking for that one special person with whom he can be with for the rest of his life. So why is he seeing and sleeping with 3 other women? He says that he's single and can do whatever he wants, which is true, but if you're on a quest to find true love, his words, then how in the hell are you going to get to know someone by dating 4 people at the same time? Is it just me...or does someone else out there agree? I'd like to get a male perspective also.

I didn't sleep with him

Answer 1

Well I would be worried if I were you, that tends to end up being trouble, especially with his PhD. involved it seems to give men a increased arrogance. I know I am a bit too young to give advice on this sorta thing, but as a guy who tries to be level headed..you can't find love by dating 4 woman at the same time, which tends to cause more trouble then it's worth, but it's entirely up to you on how things proceed from where you are at now.

Answer 2

eeewww! when you kiss him do you ever wonder where his mouth has been? Sorry if that sounds mean but he kinda seems like he's a dog. And he might not even find the right women out of the four he's seeing right now! I hope you're using protection cause maybe it's only those 3 that you know about not counting any one night stands he might be having. All you girls deserve better. he may be a cardiologist but to me he sounds heartless.

Answer 3

There really isn't much difference between him dating all these women at the same time, or dating them one after the other. He still needs to go through the whole process of getting to know them and figuring out if this individual is a good match for him. Look, he sees one person on each date, so his attention is focused on that individual, and he isn't thinking about, or comparing them to, anyone else.

As long as everyone involved is aware that the relationship is open and there is no monogamy expected, and everyone is fine with that, then it's fine.

Answer 4

"Quest for true love" sounds like what girls/ women want to hear. I think men are up front with girls about seeing/ sleeping other women to put a bit of competition into the mix, remind the girl they are a prize, and so that if the girl gets upset with the whole mess, they can say that they told you from the beginning.
A "hot cardiologist" knows he is desired for his looks, his occupation, and his money. He is playing these cards and knows what he is doing.
Do you really want to share his with three other women??

Answer 5

Looks like he is looking for four someones specials.

Its definitely a personal choice whether you want to continue seeing this guy or not. If you're okay with this open relationship and are in it for similar reason (although I highly doubt his reasoning is completely honest), then go for it. In my experience if someone is looking for someone special they will dedicate their effort to that one person to really get to know them. When the individual has multiple affairs going on then he/she is probably not looking for a serious monogomous relationship, particularly if all the affairs involve sex.

If you ask me he just wants a good time right now and his hotness allows him to find women that don't mind being one of four. And let me just say there are hot guys out there who are looking to see only one person, so perhaps limiting yourself to this one person may hold you back from meeting a potential someone special for yourself.

Answer 6

This is a female perspective, but that is messed up. He may seem like a great catch on paper, but he is too much a player & is no where serious about settling down. You need to read He's Just not THat Into You.

Who does he think he is? The guy on the tv show, the bachelor???

Answer 7

I'm a 48 yr old male.
8 years ago, I was seeing 5 women. they all knew about the others and it was voluntary on their part, I was not looking for long term just dating. all was cool.
then met the one. she was different. I was going to continue my path, but she put her foot down. "if u want me, u got to get rid of them"
I did and we are still happily together.
It revolves around whether he is just having casual dates/sex with friends or actually interested in a relationship.
it sounds like he is dipping from as many wells as he can get away with, because he is being allowed to.
I say tell him you are looking for someone ready to show fidelity. If he says no, he's just wanting to sleep around. If he says yes, hold him to it. Either way, he will only respect u if u make a stand for yourself.

Answer 8

I haven't any clue and whats even weirder is that your worried approximately who dates who while your no longer even aside of the two race. perhaps you view white women human beings as an better status and black men as decrease then them (and you) and you could't understand why white women human beings could date them. i've got had some asian indian men say that. Out of interest do you like seeing white men date east asian women human beings?..

Answer 9

He is using everything he has to date. Period. He may be looking for someone who is willing to put up with his BS. In the future he may use this romantic beginning as an excuse to cheat and get away with it. If this is not your style of relationship, RUN and run fast ! this will only lead to heartache. Good starts can lead to bad relationships, but Bad starts more than not do not end well. This does not sound like a good start. **Remember if you have to ask if you are in a good situation, chances are not good that you are not.

Answer 10

Wow! What a guy! He must have an awesome libido and something else too. At least he is honest with you! Bonus point. And, I give him credit for having a damn good time while trying to find Mrs. Right One. When he's ready he'll pick one of you or move on to the next bunch.