Why does this happen with dreams?

Question

First off, I've been married 2 and a half years now. Before I met my husband, I had a crush on this guy for years. We never dated, never talked or anything. I eventually met my husband and got married 8 months later. i thought i had forgotten about the crush. i really did. but i realize over the years that every once in a while, i dream with him, whether or not i had any thought of him in that day. but when i dream of him, they're always so freakishly vivid to the point where i am beyond confused when i wake up. i haven't seen this guy in almost 3 years and he's off and married now as well. last night i had another incredibly vivid dream about him and again two nights before. in my dreams, i'm married and he's married but there's always talk about how we feel about eachother. i feel so guilty when i wake up...why does this happen?

if you haven't guessed, it was sort of a crush from afar. but he knew. and for some time i had enough reason to think he liked me too but i never knew for sure. i know it all sounds so immature but that's because it kind of was. i crushed on him from 15-18 years old when i got married.

Answer 1

I think you just always wanted to connect with him and never did. So, it's still in the air wandering what would of been that's all. A innocent secret crush.

Answer 2

Well, a crush from afar is an idealized image, not a real person, if you understand what I mean. Your husband is a real person, but may be having a hard time living up to the ideal that you imposed on this crush. He is a real person too, but you never got to know him well enough to realize that, so for you, he is still this image you have projected on to him. Try to find some closure in understanding that even if he did like you too, neither of you were ever motivated enough about it to talk to each other, let alone go out or anything....Perhaps he was enjoying an idealized image from afar as well, who knows, but in any case, the real person he is went and married someone else, and the chances are good that he would never have lived up to what you projected on him either. So try to get some closure that it wasn't meant to be, or enjoy the idealized image for what it is, the same as you would a model or movie star, or romance novel character, do you feel guilty when you enjoy any of those things? Try to see it in that light.....

Answer 3

Maybe your love life is beginning to get a bit dull, so in your imagination you're looking for a bit more excitement, don't feel bad about it, 'cause you're doing it subconciously. The more you feel guilty on it, and the more attention you pay to these dreams, the more reguarly you're gonna dream about it too.

I love dreams like this, 'cause even though you know things are over or will never happen (and have no desire for them to happen in your waking life), your dream let's you feel like that's your life for just that night. But when you wake, your fantasies, or inner thoughts stay where they should- in your dreams.

Answer 4

Dreams of sincere love are a forecast of happiness and contentment through a healthy and intelligent adjustment to the condition of life. So let's assume this in your psyche is a true and sincere love,I know even tho you were not acknowledging each other, your heart's were, then the first part applies here. xx

Answer 5

Dreams sometimes are unfinished business. You never "ended" this so called relationship, thus it goes on in your dreams. Obviously you had(and still have) more than just a crush on him.

Answer 6

I think that this means you want him.
To know him.
To see how he's doing.