My neighbor is frequently stopping by without calling to tell me something obvious or something that a phone call would suffice. It's not like our houses are right next to each other, there is a small wooded area in between and he usually drives over (which is ridiculous in its own). I really like my privacy and am getting sick of this. How can I discourage it without burning a bridge - I definitely don't want to cause problems since we're neighbors.
2007-10-17 10:15:27 · 17 answers · asked by JenEstes 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Well you didn't say whether is was a guy or a girl. If it's a guy I'd start thinking about the fact that he could be a stalker so tell him that stalking carries no probation. Or you can just do what I do when people come around and I don't feel like dealing with them. First off if you don't have a peep hole, install one. Second keep a white apron with ketchup all over it on a hook by the front door. Now when your doorbell rings look out the peep hole, if it is the "bothersome neighbor throw on the apron and go in the kitchen and grab the biggest meat cleaver you have. Then answer the door and apologize for taking so long to answer but you are in the middle of some very important business and ask him if you can cut him short and get him later. I don't think he'll be around much after that.
2007-10-17 18:28:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like the do not disturb sign idea. Do you have blinds or shades that you can pull down so he can't see inside? If not the go buy some PDQ. Make a habit of pulling them down when you are home then he can't see if you are in the room or not!! When he questions you about this just be very friendly and say that there are times you just aren't up for company or a short chat. If he's just lonely then help him find a group of people with some of the same interests he has then he'll have a whole new group of people to chat with.
Good luck with this.
2007-10-17 10:57:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Poor guy - either really lonely or maybe he just has feelings for you or worse, he doesn't have any couth or common sense. I have a neighbour like this, too. It took awhile because the up front approach wasn't working well. I was frank and firm yet friendly but the neighbour didn't get it.
I hardly am bothered at all now because one day she had a request and I really couldn't attend to it and just put it off. She understood from my looking at her favour as something that wasn't a priority to mean that we weren't quite as close as she initially assumed. That's when she got the message.
2007-10-17 12:16:17 · answer #3 · answered by shindisensei 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want to keep it quite don't answer the door let him knock!
if he sees you wave and answer the door and say i'm sorry i don't have time for vistiting right now! check ya later!
or next time he stops by just say hi hey i'll be needing you to call prior to your vistit i haven't expressed myself in the past but i didn't think it would be so consistiant.. i need my privacty i hope you understand here is my number got to run!
talk to you soon!
expressing how you feel isn't mean!
just tell him hey i thought you stopping by 1maybe3 times is no big deal when it's unannounced however this is becomeing a habit and i feel more at ease when you call first! i'm sorry if there is a issue but here is my number please don't freak me out ankymore! joking with that last line so say it in a joking matter but if you do state how you feel instead of pointing out how much he sucks may help!
2007-10-17 10:20:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's not clear what happens next.
If he comes by, you don't have to let him in.
"Thanks for letting me know." Close door.
Or is it just the interruption, and he doesn't come in?
After all, if he just informs you of something, it's no more time for you than a phone call.
Also, you don't have to answer the door.
I guess I'm not clear on some of the details. Your time is your own, you have the right to refuse to give it up for anyone who wants it.
2007-10-17 16:25:52 · answer #5 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very polite, but stand in the door and say, "Oh, you caught me right in the middle of something. I'm sorry I can't talk right now. I'll see you later. Good bye." and close the door. Do this every time and he will get the message. It won't feel comfortable, but you need to do it to break him of the habit of dropping by w/o warning.
2007-10-17 10:25:48 · answer #6 · answered by meatpiemum 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Say, "I'm sorry, this isn't a convenient time for me. I'll give you a call when I can get together next."
Repeat as many times as is necessary for the lunkhead to get the message.
When you finally do get back to calling him, you could say something like, "OK, what was so earth-shattering that I had to drop what I was doing?" This should also drive your point home.
Good luck!
2007-10-17 10:31:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him for a minute at the door, and don't invite him in. Tell him that you're in the middle of something right now, and can't visit.
It's fine to just talk for a minute, and it can be done nicely.
2007-10-18 17:40:54 · answer #8 · answered by June B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just start randomly showing up at his house at like 2 in the morning. Kinda follow him around too. Eventually he'll get annoyed and leave you alone.
2007-10-17 11:01:57 · answer #9 · answered by Little Leigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her, do you mind giving me a call before coming over. It`s just that I sometimes need to get on with things here.
2007-10-17 11:15:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋