It was my birthday on Sunday.My daughter took me out for breakfast,gave me a nice card and a gift.My oldest son and middle son never called me to say Happy Birthday mom.I have never missed my adult kids birthdays ( I always make them a nice dinner and invite the rest of the family(or any of thier kids birthdays. I am really hurt over this.I keep thinking that when thier birthdays come I should not bother to call them and see how they would like it.Do you think I am being petty? I didn't bring my kids up to be thoughtless...What would you do?
2007-10-17 10:00:13 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
For those of you who said 'maybe they forgot"...no way..they know...and thank you for the belated birthday wish it made me cry!
2007-10-17 10:08:18 · update #1
I really appreciate these great answers and I feel much better. Thank you so much.My sons would never forget thier wife or girlfriends birthday( they would never live it down)..mom just never complains.Actually I just emailed them and said I was sorry they couldn't make it to my birthday breakfast..we'll see what happens from here.
2007-10-17 10:35:21 · update #2
Dee... your children can give you the biggest heartaches in the world. We do the best we can, knock ourselves out going over the top for them and wham... no birthday card or phone call... I know they have busy lives and can honestly forget but it still stings... don't sting them back, it will just make things worse. Then You will have to live with the fact that you didn't do what your heart wanted you to do!
2007-10-17 10:07:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I agree with most of the responses that men just aren't good about these things. I ask a few days before my birthday to my 23 year old son and husband about where we are going to dinner on my birthday. I know there is a good chance they might forget, so I remind them. This way I don't find myself hurt on my birthday and they are very grateful for the hint.
You are obviously very disappointed in your sons, as you should be. Most likely you are upset because you are such a good mom. This does not mean that you did a bad job raising your sons. They are just not aware of how important these things are to women.
If it were my sons, I would call them up and ask them where they are taking me to dinner Friday night to make up for the fact that they forgot my birthday. It's OK to make them feel bad, they did a bad thing. But I would not keep quiet and get revenge. It will only make you feel worse.
If you agree with my suggestion, enjoy your belated birthday dinner! Better late than never.
2007-10-17 10:27:07 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really feel bad that your sons did not call you. Invite them over and be nice. Do not fight or mention anything about how you feel. Also invite you sweet daugter over and have her help you with this plan. Tell her to say these lines to the boys...
"I am not supposed to tell you this but mom feels really bad about how you guys did not buy her a gift or even called to say happy birthday, so why did'nt you two anyway?" Sorry if that was cheesy, your daughter can put the lines in her own words. Also may be have her just talk about a bunch of stuff before that so they dont get suspisious. Do not be near them in the conversastion. When she is done make sure she tells you everything. If they say mean or rude stuff, do not bother them on their birthdays at all.
Hope this helped!
Katie
2007-10-17 10:18:18 · answer #3 · answered by Katie B 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have 4 grown children. Three of them are very thoughtful and always make a big thing on my birthday. My oldest child does not speak to me, but I still dont know why. I've come to think that I did the best I knew how when I was raising her and if this is how she feels now, there isnt much I can do about it. I'm really sorry your one son didnt remember you on your birthday, but not doing anything for his birthday would only compound the problem. If you think it would do any good, sit down and have a talk with him. Let him know how much his ommision hurt you. He may not have the same degree of interest in birthdays as you do. My son didnt want anything done for his 40th birthday and I went along with it. He knows I do place a lot of importance in birthdays. I guess it boils down to individual tastes. By the way-Happy Belated Birthday and I hope that things are different next year.
2007-10-17 10:10:13 · answer #4 · answered by phlada64 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The magic word here is KIDS, your the adult and should initiate other times with them. They feel that Birthdays and Christmas give them a reason to call you. This is a sad thing but if you want more ask for it, no insist on it. You pay there support don't you? Well your intitiled to see them. Good Luck.
2016-05-23 04:58:10 · answer #5 · answered by iva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh, I think every family has this problem! The guys probably forgot and then felt too sheepish to say anything after the fact.
My mom and dad have totally called out my brothers on each others' behalf. For example, when my brothers didn't acknowledge my mom's birthday or Mother's Day without even a card (they came to eat free food, though) my dad told them right then and there that they are old enough to stop at the store for a card, that there is no excuse for them being inconsiderate like that.
And when they forgot my dad's day, my mom spoke up for him. My brothers were in their 20's at the time and it really woke them up. They were embarrassed to be called out like that.
If you don't call your sons on their birthdays, they won't make the connection. The next time you talk to them, say something like "Your sister and I went out for breakfast to celebrate my birthday last weekend. It's too bad you couldn't come - we had a great time." They'll probably have an explanation/excuse after that.
2007-10-17 10:06:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
no, your not being petty, that is extremely selfish of them ! I never missed birthdays, mother's day, or anything like that growing up, and dont miss them now. They cannot be that busy, but that shows you how unappreciative children are when you give them everything growing up, I can tell that you were that type of parent, sometimes we can give our kids so much, that they just don't appreciate the smalls things, I am going through this with my teenagers now . What they did to you was wrong, because I know they understand how important birthdays are to you. you should call them, and give them a piece of your mind ! and don't hold back either !
2007-10-17 10:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Call them on their birthday and remind them that you call them because you care for them and want them to know that they are very much loved by you. Remind them that you could not forget their birthdays because it would hurt them deeply and it would be a thoughtless thing to do. Finally say that you know your kids could never forget your birthday or else it would seem that they are ungrateful, selfish people. Obviously you can add your own mix to it. Good luck and hopefully it won't happen next year.
2007-10-17 10:12:25 · answer #8 · answered by Michael K 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would be really sad and hurt. Birthdays are so important to celebrate because it is when your loved ones should show you how awesome it is to have you on earth. Men generally aren't on top of things like woman tend to be. So keeping that in mind, I think you should mention it to them, not in a mean way, but in a way where they can see that they hurt you and that it be nice if they remembered next time :-) good luck
2007-10-17 10:07:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It happens. Just because they didn't call you doesn't mean they don't love you. Maybe they were busy and it slipped their minds... My mother, the most considerate person on the planet, has forgotten to call me a few times for my bday. Why on Earth should I try to hurt her by purposely not wishing her a great bday when its time? If you love your kids and you know your kids love you, don't sweat the small stuff. It's not worth it. And it's not that your being petty, but you could become petty; and then when would your kids call? Sometimes the little things are just that...little things. blessed be
2007-10-17 10:08:32 · answer #10 · answered by LadyMagick 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋