You know, I hear these stories, and it really frightens me what rationalizations men use for violating women and how widely accepted they are. Men are responsible for their actions, and it's not a woman's fault if a man is perverted, yet the woman is blamed. I mean, I understand something like low-riding jeans with a thong sticking out is ridiculous, but a woman should have the right to not have to cover up her legs 24/7. And there seems to be this double standard for women with big breasts where anything we wear is too revealing, I mean, I don't even wear in-your-face cleavage shirts- I wear shirts with regular or high necklines most of the time, or something with just a little cleavage once in a blue moon, but I get these "looks" no matter what I wear. I never buy anything in too small a size. I mean, if men want to look that's one thing, but then don't hold women responsible for your dirty thoughts. Don't accuse a woman of "sending a message" because that's all in your head.
2007-10-17 09:39:02 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Appropriate clothing depends on the situation.
If she were to wear such things to church or a wedding, I would call that immodest. Such garb gets you kicked out of the Sistene Chapel as well.
However, in the summer, there are lots of other situations where this is just fine.
It all depends on the situation, doesn't it?
2007-10-17 10:07:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with most of what you said. However, you are sending a message. It's not a message of violate me or think perverted thoughts about me. It's a message of notice me. If you were being honest, you know that I am right. Women in today's world like to be noticed when they walk down the street. No it's not an invitation to be a jerk, but you do want us to look. By the way the double standard for women with large breasts exist for two reasons. Mostly it's because no matter what the size is, if the women's outfit accentuates their curves, we men turn stupid and can't focus. Even the most chivalrous man out there would notice that girl. Secondly, women with larger breast sizes by shirts that do fit them, but only in the shoulders and the length. I'm not saying it doesn't fit you, I'm saying it looks to good not to notice. Although it seems like I am disagreeing with you a lot, the opposite is actually true. Keep wearing those types of clothes myself and most other men enjoy the view. Like you said, you are bound to get perverts that will gawk and cat call, but don't let them dissuade you from dressing that way so the rest of us can appreciate real beauty.
2007-10-17 10:00:25 · answer #2 · answered by irish398 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure I am in total agreement, since your question would not even enter the dialogue if such freedom of dress were appropriate.
I have travelled all over the world, and the word 'modest' is relative. Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world, and the smart thing to do for a woman is to err on the side of caution.
No one is saying that you should wear a burka, but understand one thing: men are much more visually aroused than women. Therefore, what you might consider
"modest" may cause considerable arousal in a man; now add to the equation that the man is deranged. That already spells trouble.
The looks you get don't seem to bother you all that much, otherwise, you wouldn't pose the question. When things get further or more offensive than looks, I am sure you will find the appropriate clothes to wear.
Aimee Kligman
2007-10-17 09:56:52 · answer #3 · answered by Ishtar55 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel there is a double standard too.. I mean, if you have your boobs and butt hanging out and people are staring, well you kind of are asking for that, but to touch? Or to act rudely to? No I don't think so. How come guys can rip off their shirts in the summer time and not be considered "slutty?" How come the number of women a guy sleeps with is "macho" but the number of men a woman sleeps with is "skanky." How come a guy who picks up a chick is impressive, but a girl who is picked up is considered easy?
And geez, it's not like we can help our breast size. It's not our fault they stick out. Should we dress like grannies for it? No way! I don't complain when guys at the swimming pool wear tight speedos and their entire package is revelead. If they are comfortable with that, go for it! Although sometimes I"d really rather not see it hehe.
Anywho, yes we should be able to wear what we want. Did you know that a woman who gets raped can be "responsible" for it if she "led the guy on" (by clothing or actions). I mean, no matter how skanky you are dressing, that is NOT an invitation for rape.
2007-10-17 10:38:58 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
are you kidding? a tank top, shorts and flip flops sends the "wrong message"????? How about men who actually take their shirts OFF in hot weather? How about IT"S HOT OUTSIDE! and it's more comfortable to not be bundled up when it's 95 and the humidity is in the 80s. So..... YOU come on!
2016-05-23 04:53:23 · answer #5 · answered by freeda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are not popping out of them, there is no problem at all.
I am chesty myself, and I try not to show much cleavage, it just isn't right, it doesn't say much for me if I do.
You are always going to get 'looks' no matter what you wear.
Safety tip: Look in the mirror. If you can see more than an inch of cleavage, it's too much. If you have shorts on, turn your back to the mirror, and look over your shoulder, with your arms in the air. If you can see a hint of back cheek, they are too short.
2007-10-17 10:14:57 · answer #6 · answered by Icewomanblockstheshot 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree that we should be able to wear that as long as the shorts arent barely thre shorts, and the tank isnt super tight and low cut. But we all have to take into mind that there are just so VERY sick freaks out there and no matter what is worn some one out there will be turned on.
2007-10-17 10:30:43 · answer #7 · answered by shug 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. But, you already know what the results are going to be pretty much regardless what you wear sometimes. I guess as long as you aren't putting yourself in situations that would leave you vulernable, like getting drunk, and being alone, it shouldn't be anything that you can't deal with.
2007-10-17 09:44:13 · answer #8 · answered by grouch2111 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think a woman should wear whatever she wants.
2007-10-17 16:11:28 · answer #9 · answered by sdkidduran 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes.. i agree...
i just wouldnt wear super super super short shorts with a tiny belly tank top
but just a tank top and shorts is fine!
2007-10-17 09:46:49 · answer #10 · answered by poprockgirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋