My sister's 19. doesnt have a job. she almost completely depends on my parents. what should I do?

Question

My sister's very hypocritical. Money's tight sometimes, yet she's 19 and is a full time student, but doesnt get a job to help out. She "claims" to care about saving money, and always bugs my parents when they make financial decisons. yet she completely depends on them for gas, schooling(money for college), Lives at home, wanted a cat for her birthday which she eventually got, but the cat is ill, and medicine is nearly 100 bucks a week. she has a boyfriend in virginia, who basically whenever he visits, he crashes at our house for 2 weeks, and then leaves. Right now, she's really annoying me. My parents are thinking about buying a car, but they have been thinking about getting 2, since my sister's car is a piece of crap. but we have this great opportunity to buy a really nice car, for us, yet she keeps complaining about how this one car is too expensive for us, but really, she's simply being internally selfish. how do i combat this? and convince my parents of buying this one car.

Answer 1

I'm in about the same situation as your sister.

And I act almost exactly like that, I'm a tight wad when it comes to money and I try to help my dad out whenever I can in giving advice, even though I honestly should have no say in the whole ordeal.

So let me list some things that may help you get the other side of the story before you go getting angry just because you can't have a really nice car. 2 working cars are better than one shiny new one any day anyway.

My situation: I am painfully shy so it's difficult for me to venture out and get a job. I also have a lot of stress on me, just like any new adult who is facing the rest of their life. Everything that I do NOW makes up the rest of my life, so I have to be careful about what decisions I make, thus piles of stress that I basically created. There are so many mental things that could be going on in your sister's life that you may not be aware of. Have some sympathy, be the bigger person here. And the whole thing about her boyfriend, it's hard for people on the inside of a relationship to see what others around them can. She may not know that he's a burden on your family, even if you were to tell her.

Hope I've helped a little. Best wishes.

Answer 2

I've always found the best way to deal with something like this is to think about all these facts or what your sister is costing them, and then put it down onto paper. I wouldn't complain to much about things like them paying for her college, but I would concentrate on things that are unnecessary, like the cat and the boyfriend staying over. I would also suggest that your parents get a used car as new ones lose 10% of their value just by driving it off the lot. You can get a great used car with a warranty if you do your research on the VIN. No matter how much money I have, I will never buy a brand new car. If you still want a brand new car, I would suggest looking for a 2007 right now, as the dealerships are cutting the prices to get rid of them to make room for the 2008 right now.

Answer 3

This is obviously the way she was raised, and your parents are apparently condoning the behavior from your explanation. I mean, if they were concerned, or wanted her to change, they would stop supporting her. If I were you, I would try not to worry about it; it's your parents' money so let them worry about it.

I know how you feel, I would be incredibly annoyed, too. But there's not a whole lot you can do except look out for yourself and make sure you are managing your finances as independently as possible.

My parents don't pay for anything for me - they do let me live at home with no rent, but other than that I'm on my own. It all comes down to how the parents deal with it and raise their kids.

Answer 4

It is pretty plain to see that your sister isn't stepping up to the plate. The problem is that this is an adult problem and the only ones who can change it are your parents. All you can do is tell your sister and your parents how you feel she should be doing more. They may not like hearing it and you may not get the response you would like but at least you will have said your piece.

Answer 5

wow, your'e parents are not doing her any favors they are enabling her to do things on her own...some parents say go to school and get your degrees and such and all will be fine...but she sounds like she gets it all, poor poor girl...wait till she moves out one day, it will slap her in the face all on it's own, what it is like to live in the real world...
Ask your parents why are they doing this for her...seriously I think you should both have a car not share one...little ms princess will always have the car and not share with you...so sorry you have this going on in your life...Not sure if your the oldest or youngest...but it does not matter..your parents have and are setting her up for a rude awakening...there is nothing you can do...in the parents eyes she is a full time student busting her butt as school and that is fine with them...so she gets what she wants...must be nice...

Answer 6

I know it's hard for you but, it's up to your parents to make these decisions. My sister depends on my parents to pay all of her bills because she "can't find a job". She uses their car and like I said they pay all her bills because she has her own place. It's just one of those things that we have no control over, it's got to be up to them, I don't even live at home and it still bothers me.

Answer 7

Unfortunately nothing, It's up to your parents to stop enabling your sister. Just roll with the punches.

Answer 8

It isn't your job to decide for your parents how to spend their money. If they want to buy your sister things, that's their choice, it's their money. Oh and by the way, your sister isn't lazy, she's going to school full time, so mind your own business.

Answer 9

First off thats not your problem. Appartently your parents are enabling the problem and theres nothing that can't be done until your parent put their foot down....sounds to me like some jealousy issues.

Answer 10

tell your parents to buy something for themselves because your sister is old enough to go get a job to pay for her own car, plus she could sell her old one to make a down payment on it.