I understand it isn't normal.But I am so tired of people treating me like im stupid and I don't understand anything. I thought that adults were supposed to be there to help younger ones in time of need not shun them and push them away...
2007-10-17 08:39:32 · 21 answers · asked by Kaspur 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Yes adults are there to help younger ones learn...however you are not the younger one anymore, your child is, and by bringing a child into this world you promoted yourself to adult/parent even if you weren't prepared.
I do not believe there is a magic age at where you will be the best parent ever...You are whatever kind of parent you strive to be no matter your age. An old friend of mine had her daughter at 14. She has grown into a wonderful mother. There are 30 year olds that should have never been given children.
I think the truth is you are worried that your age will affect you, and thus you make it an issue. (I am not saying that the discrimination is all in your head.) But do you really care what strangers think or do you care about what your child thinks.
Like I said you could be as good a dad as anyone else who's older, you have just started at a disadvantage, being young and unsettled. Your race will be harder to win...But you can do it.
Think about the people around you that you think are good parents, and go to them when you have questions. Read books on parenting, and learn to put yourself last!
You are an adult and a father and a role model, be an example, and learn to lead that way, by being an example.
Do not get discourage just cause your road is rougher, you chose that path no follow it...You might be surprised at where you end up.
I am a backpacker, and some of the less traveled trails and rougher trails have led me to see wondrous things that not many else have.
Enjoy your journey.
2007-10-17 10:37:01 · answer #1 · answered by Boppysgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds as if you are in acceptance for being your age and fathering a child, so that is about 1/3 the battle you face as you go thru this. There is going to be more of course. And how mature you are in handling those upcoming situations will have a determination on how you grow into a man and father. Remember, fathering a child is only a biological need at first, then the real life begins. How much resilence you have to the ignorant adults you have to face will prove who is the wiser and more mature. I think my comment to them would be something like this " Yes I am a 17 year old Father, and I am proud of it, and I fail to see why you have a problem with it " "If I have accepted this and I am taking the responsibility seriously then you should have no problem with it" Good Luck Kiddo.....it will be a long and hard road. Any parent knows that. So suck it up and ignore the jerks that try to make you feel negative. Stay positive, and smile, it does make life seem easier.
2007-10-17 09:18:26 · answer #2 · answered by Toffy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Want the honest truth?
Because it's not a common every day thing. The majority of 17yrs, both male and female, aren't parents. You're viewed as the teen who didn't pay attention in sex ed, didn't use protection and made a stupid mistake, whether you did or not. You're seen to others as "If he was dumb enough to 'ruin his life' with a kid, most likely he doesn't understand anything else."
Thats why.
I've been here and done this. I became a dad in Feb on my senior year. In April my girlfriend was killed in a car accident. I graduated the end of that May and was expected to figure out how to pay for everything, where I was going to live, work and college (and I came from a very wealthy family) My parents helped very little, mainly because I figured out how to do this on my own by myself.
My advice to you: learn to deal with it and step up to the plate. You're going to get A LOT of LOOKS and COMMENTS, especially if you do something incorrect. Trust me.
You need to remember that this is YOUR responsibility. If you need help, don't be afraid to ask, but at the same time, don't expect to have someone help you with this 24/7.
Do the best you can +1. Finish school, have some kind of future education in your path, take responsibility, work hard and prove to others that you can do this.
Good Luck. Feel free to e-mail me if you need some advice
2007-10-17 08:57:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's too late to worry about what people think....SO DON'T!!! The child is here now so that should be your main focus. If you let other people distract you then the stress will transfer to your child. My sister had one child at 16 and one at 17(by the same father who was the same age) Luckily, both families were very supportive. I was 19 when i had my first. That didn't take away my ability to parent. There are people who are 30-40yo and they still have to learn to become parents. Your child is #1001 out of 1000 and you have to learn what's right for that child no matter what. Don't be ashamed, your child doesn't know how old you are and doesn't care. Trust your instincts and you'll do fine. Im 38yo now and my son is 19 and we are good friends now that he is grown. Just love'm and be there for them as much as possible. GOD BLESS you'll do fine if you do the best you can.
2007-10-17 09:21:58 · answer #4 · answered by bigsexy3531 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
17 is just way to young to be a father. Historically, people have always frowned upon young parents. It was always "wait until you're married, older, have a steady job to start a family".
You're so young, 27 years my junior. But, pick yourself up, GET AN EDUCATION, that is the most important advice I can recommend. Working today without a college education, it's tough to get a good paying job without one. You might also consider the armed services. You'd be shipped off for training but soon after you would have medical coverage for your child.
If college or the military isn't an option, try to get a good steady job. You might luck up and get your foot in the door at a place and can work your way up. Check out www.usajobs.com. I started at Social Security 18 years ago, no degree and now make more than my college educated best friend. No, I'm not a parent...well..unless you consider my 64lb black lab named Harley Dean. I grew up without a dad, never met him until he was in a casket.
Be a part of your child's life dude. You were "adult" enough to make the child after all. Love your child, cherish the life you've created. Be a dad, play ball, teach him/her right from wrong, read stories.
Good luck!
2007-10-17 08:55:57 · answer #5 · answered by Phurface 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They SHOULD be there to help you. This is when you have to be MORE grown up than the judgemental unhelpful adults. Remember, they are coming from older generations, and they are trying to wrap their minds around the whole situation. Which really doesn't make any sense because it is not their lives .... it is yours, and your child's lives.
Avoid negativity at all costs. Do not let them get into your head or your heart. You are WONDERFUL for taking an active role in your childs life. Do not ever stop.
The measure of a true man is how he takes care of his children. So dont you let anything discourage the relationship you have with your baby. You have the right to love that baby and take of it as best you can.
There will always be the judgemental eyes turned your way. Dont EVER let it shake you. That is their problem NOT yours. You have enough to deal with without having to reassure every single person.
Just do what you do and do it well.
I was a 16 year old mother and was forced to raise my child alone with no child support. I just want to give you a big hug for not running away. Stepping up and being a man is a HUGE things. Stick with it. Stay in there. It will mean the world to your child. My son never got to meet his father and is now 18. Although I am an old woman at age 35, I love my son with all my heart and dont regret one single sacrifice that I made to be a mom.
My whole family wanted me to have an abortion. I defied their wishes and went my own way. I had my baby and never apologized for making my own decisions. They still look at me funny and blame me for every hardship my family ever faces.
Truth be known.... they have a lot of guilt that they just like to transfer my way. I don't care.... if it makes them feel better... I guess it is worth it.
I am now a nurse, my son is doing great, and my family and I get along fairly well.
Be yourself, you don't have to put on some performance for everyone. Your raising a kid, it is not rocket science. Just take care of your baby... that should be your only concern.
When the adults get tough on you just look at them and say, "Look, I can't focus on all that negativity... I am trying to be positive for my child and myself. We are just trying to live our lives and don't need permission from anyone to have happiness."
If that doesn't shut them up, then walk away. Don't stick around all that negativity. You do not owe them anything.
Hugggggggsssssssss. Be a good Dad, they are very rare.
I will pray for you that God will give you the wisdom and compassion to raise your child well. God Bless You both and keep you safe, healthy, and happy always.
2007-10-17 09:06:48 · answer #6 · answered by pink 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
that's so incorrect. I propose hitting the top repetitively is extremely humiliating and bodily damaging. that's punishable via regulation. Plus the subject led to via the new child isn't that sizable (whether it relatively is enormous, the new child would not have any thought approximately it, and hitting the top continues to be pointless). I say if this occurs lower back, take a video of it :D or ask the new child approximately it. Then whinge to the government which comprise the new child.
2016-10-04 00:55:09 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because they are ignorant! i am a 17 year old mother and i know it wasnt the brightest thing to do having a kid at such a young age but i am taking responsibility for my actions! and i love my son very much an di too wish older ppl wouldnt stop looking down upon me and just be there if i need them to be and stop condeming me... but i guess it doesnt matter what they say as long as i continue to be a wonderful mother to my son! dont worry about what they say somebody is always going to have something negative to say about anything you do so just prove to them they are wrong by going out and being the best father you can be!
2007-10-17 08:54:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Kudos to you for being in your son's life. If it is close family members that are not being supportive, than speak up and let them them know their lack of support bothers you. Maybe they don't realize they are sending out the wrong signals. It may be that your family is concerned about your future; how hard it is going to be for you and your new family at such a young age. Anyone else, don't worry about what they think. Good luck!
2007-10-17 08:54:37 · answer #9 · answered by stormgirl 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sweetie don't worry about what people think of you OK i was a 17 year old mother and trust me if i didn't like what people had to say i told them a few words i don't think they knew i new lol its not something you should worry about the only thing you need to think and focus on is your child and show him how you should act and be OK just try and be the father that baby needs you to be if people don't like the fact that your a teenage dad then they can go f*** themselves it is no different then a teenage mom it will be OK just do what you think is right for your baby that's what you need to do for now on OK good luck...
2007-10-17 09:02:49 · answer #10 · answered by mommaof42007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋