i am 17 years old and my boyfriend of 4 years who i am madly inlove with who just asked me to marry him went and had sex with my little sister of 15! and now she is going to have his child. i really love him and i have dedicated 4 years of my life to spend with him! he was my first boyfriend and my first time in the sex department. i dont no what to do i really want to be with him for the rest of my life!!!! HELP ME!!!
2007-10-17 08:07:23 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Jesus you are way too young to be having these problems. I can't even begin to have an idea of what to do.
2007-10-17 08:12:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok I know you probably have gone through the lie that you can only have one true love. But the reality is you have your whole life ahead of you and you can fall in and out of love with a 100 different guys before you find one that really is right for you. Take the experience that you have gotten from this relationship and move on. It is going to hurt like he** but you will survive and you will love again. If you stay with this guy you will always be wondering somewhere in your mind if he is faithful and believe me that is not how you want to have a relationship. You're 17 at least this happened now instead of 10 years from now and two kids later... Things could be worse.
2007-10-17 08:15:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would sit down somewhere private and talk to your sister and your boyfriend. If they can both clearly and honestly explain how they went behind your back and hurt you so badly then I'd go to the next step, decide in your heart if you could ever forgive them. I know that I dont know your entire situation but in most cases if a guy has cheated and gotten caught then maybe it means he cheated before and just didnt get caught. You do have to think about how it is going to be if you do marry him and your whole family knows he had a child with your sister. That may not be that much concern to you since you have been with him so long but like I said, I dont know much about your relationship so I dont know ho wthat will affect you.
I guess in the end you have to think about this....You may love him with all of your heart and soul but if he was willing to go and hurt both you and your little sister is he really the one for you? First time things are hard to get over but there is usually another great experience waiting just beyond that one waiting for you....Good luck with whatever you choose...
2007-10-17 08:19:37 · answer #3 · answered by CrazyCat49 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, yet also say that you don't know what to do. You don't know what to do, because the little voice of reason inside your teenaged, love addled brain is telling you that you would be setting yourself up for a life of grief by pledging your future to a user who has looked you in the eye and said, "I love you", while shagging your sister (who is now pregnant - the icing on the cake.)
It's really not surprising that you and your sister went for the same guy. It often happens with brothers over girls, as well.
But there is a lot of lying going on here. He's lied to both you and your sister, your sister has lied to you, and you are basically lying to yourself. The 800 pound gorilla in the room that you don't want to confront is that you can't trust the man you say you love as far as you can throw him, not even around family members.
In a way, you are better off than your sister, who now has to contend with either an abortion or the care of a child, at a ridiculously young age. Mentioning that, have you given any thought to what your reaction will be to this innocent child, if he or she is born? How will you feel, every time you look at that kid?
You don't mention how old this paragon of virtue is, yet you mention the age of both yourself and your sister, and mention also that, at the age of 17, you have already been with him for four years. If he is any more than a few years older than you, he is a predator. What do your parents say about this?
The bottom line is that you are actually thinking about staying hooked up with someone who has had sex with your sister - and, I hate to bring this up, but you can bet - several other girls, as well. You have had blind, young faith in him, but you cannot trust him and you will never be able to trust him. He had lied to you already, countless times, and he will lie to you again, because it is in his nature to do so. He doesn't respect women and any woman who believes his BS is dismissed by him as a sap. Forget what he has said to you - concentrate on his actions, which are not the actions of a guy who loves you. Count your lucky stars that you still have a chance to tell him to get lost, and he is lucky charges are not being pressed against him for your sister.
My advice - spend the time you would have wasted mooning over this piece of trash sorting out why you have such low self esteem that you would even consider doing anything other than throwing him in the street. Get away from him and stay away, calm your emotions down and start thinking, instead of feeling, and trust me, you will (eventually) see what a useless bum he is. Get your confidence up, and find another guy who respects and loves you and your (obviously) gentle, trusting nature, and would never pull this crap on you. Good luck!
2007-10-17 08:46:04 · answer #4 · answered by lighght30 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are way too young to get married. Leave marriage until are you at least 25 years old. Second, he had sex with your sister. That's a major red flag right there. If I were you, I would dump him immediately and forget about him very quickly. Come on, 4 years. You waisted 4 years of your life with a guy who turned out to be very wrong for you indeed. If I were you, I would go out on dates with different guys, have fun. Don't get emotionally attached to someone too quickly, that's a big mistake right there. I hope you have learned something from all of this. Yes, there are good guys out there, but you ladies always put us into the friend zone because you think we are too nice and not good enough for you. I should know, I get put into the friend zone everytime I meet someone no matter how much chemistry is there to begin with.
2007-10-17 08:14:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are 17 and your sis is 15 and she is Preg now from a BOY u called him "Madly in love " and you wanna be with him for the rest of your life .
Sweet heart this BOY never loved u or loved your sis or loved any body except his penis ,it will be a disaster if u accept his silly offer about marry you .
I am sure you will meet in the future a real (MAN) who really (RESPECT) you and you will have a wonderful family, you have to kick his butt out of your life you have to not let any body control your life like that you still young if you will gonna be hurt now coz you lost a coward in the future you will be thxful . Good luck
2007-10-17 08:27:31 · answer #6 · answered by mrs_mcelmurry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't walk away, RUN. If he will have sex with a 15 year old child ( and if he is old enough for you, he is way too old for her! It is against the law for him to be with her!) he is no good. If he cheats on you at all, he is no good. And if he cheats with your sister, not only is he no good and a criminal (she is jail bait!) but she ain't worth a whole heck of a lot either. I know you have invested 4 years in him, but you lost it. Don't waste any more time with a piece of trash like him. You are worth more than a guy like him. There are guys out there who will not be like that. Talk to your parents, your aunt, your preacher, but get an adult there to help you. If you stay with him, I guarantee he will do it again and again.
2007-10-17 08:19:14 · answer #7 · answered by mrslititia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you mentally challenged girl!?!?! You have got to have a few screws left to even consider staying with this moron!!!!! I would be gone if my bf slept with ANYONE. My sister!?! and the girl is only 15 years old, now she is pregnant? That boy should be hung up by his testies. Get rid of that jerk. So what that you gave him 4 years. You are only 17 years old. You are still a child! You have the rest of your life to find a decent guy who wouldn't disrespect you the way he has. You think this is the end of it? Wrong! This kid will continue with this pattern forever. If you stay with him your life will be miserable. Wouldn't this be fun at a family reunion......"he mommy, is that man my daddy or my uncle, are we from Utah"? Or how about "he guys this is my dad, I mean uncle, I mean uncle dad". Get rid of that inconsiderate piece of crap. As for your sister......someone needs to have a long talk with that girl. What is she doing sleeping with guys at her age? Her life is now nothing but problems. Sure, they think they can handle a kid at 15. Ha. Welcome to the real world when the kid comes home from the hospital. The kid's life won't be peachy either. What a fcked up mess. Kick them both to the curb.
2007-10-17 08:22:50 · answer #8 · answered by Paula D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He did what and she did what and now she is going to....
ooh your sister is a little freak and your boyfriend cannot be trusted.
You need to tell him you need your space and you need to think this situation over. If you really love, do you wnat to break up with him because he made one mistake?
Can you ever trust him again?
And your sister, she is only fifteen, she should not be having sex and getting pregnant!!!!
Can you ever see her the way you used to see her?
My advice is to think this through
If you really love him the way you say you love him, then maybe you should stay with him, but you also have to accept the fact that he hurt you and impregnated your sister. You also have to understand that your sister's baby is your stepchild and neice or nephew. You are going to look at her everyday and you'll see what your boyfriend did to you. I dont want to get in the way of your four year relationship, but I think it is best you guys go your seperate ways and you try and find someone who loves you enough to not go around sleeping with other women.
As for your sister, forgiveness. Although you may never trust her they way you used to, forgiveness is the key to getting your life back on track.
If you do decide to stay with your bf, try and work things out.
Other than this advice, all I can say is good luck Hope this helped a whole bunch! :-)
2007-10-17 08:18:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie you are young and That's what you think you want know. Everyone thinks they love the one that took there virginity. You will be reminded everyday that he cheated on you because if you marry him you nephew or nease will be also your step daughter. You should worry about yourself with School and What you want to be. You don't need to start your adult life with a guy like that. You will live a live with the need of a guy to support you. I really thing you should leave him. With marrige these days I would give it only 2 years if you did marry him. Think of your future , not with a man , for yourself because men are not aways around and you are left with yourself and that is the only thing that matters. Its you in the End.
2007-10-17 08:25:54 · answer #10 · answered by Kerry J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) You are WAY too young to be married. 2) You guys can't both be madly in love with each other if HE slept with YOUR little sister. 3) If he's doing it NOW, he'll do it LATER. He's a cheater and nothing but problems. You're way too young to be committed to ANYONE. Go out there, find someone decent who respects you and won't cheat on you. Not to mention how will your sister's baby feel later when she sees HER DAD with YOU and not her MOM? Ditch the loser, and slap your sister in the face for sleeping with your loser boyfriend.
2007-10-17 08:16:16 · answer #11 · answered by johnstonluv 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋